{{ contest.story_page_sticky_bar_text }} Be the first to recommend this story.
Get Free Copy

81 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copies left
You can choose from our best books below
Scott Barry Harper would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

Welcome to Curlyland

By Scott Barry Harper All Rights Reserved ©

Drama / Humor

Blurb

The world didn’t end in 2012. This made a lot of street preachers very upset. So they moved on to the 8th Mayan Prophecy. A prophecy that is so ludicrous that it could never happen… until it does. A seventeen year old kid with A.D.D. becomes the ruler of the whole world and endeavors to change whatever he wishes, whenever he pleases in whichever way he would like… leaving the whole world, including a group of young people, clambering in the wake of worldwide social and political change. You think your world leaders are outside of their minds? Let’s gain a little perspective shall we? Welcome to Curlyland!

Chapter 1: Tourism

“If we ever actually get our shit together and aliens came to visit, they should feel welcome and shit.”

‐ Curly

Tour Director: “Hello Guests! Welcome to the Department of Funky Town!

Formally known as the Curlyland Information and Tourist Center for Extra Terrestrials, this facility was first opened in 2035 by His Excellency King Curly McAwesome as a dedication to his life’s accomplishments and required more than one thousand ’detainees’ and four years to construct.

As you can hear over the public address system, music from the band “Gwar” is playing over the loud speakers and is the only music allowed to be played within these walls. This is not only because they are Curly’s favourite band, but also because Curly has made “Gwar” his personal religion. Freedom of religion is encouraged in Curlyland and The Church of Gwar makes literature and discographies available should our guests be interested in joining.

Right now we are in the entrance and foyer area of the facility. Known commonly as ‘The Hall of Hello’, it was designed by His Excellency himself and contains 300 portraits of King Curly giving slightly different versions of the thumbs up; his go‐to response to questions that he did not fully understand. Measuring at over 700 feet long, the hall itself has a moving floor to help reduce exercise and conserve energy. To quote His Excellency, “Walking around all day is a total bitch.”

You will have noticed that, over the years, everyday items have had their names changed. These new names are all part of a new language known as ‘Curlyspeak’. It is a language of his highnesses own making that uses proper nouns not only as a method of identification, but also to denote purpose. This makes things easier on his Excellency’s memory due to his inability to pay attention. Medication that is usually prescribed to people with Attention Deficit Disorder had become difficult to administer to King Curly because, to once again quote His Excellency, “They taste like shit when you chew them.” Therefore, Curlyland scientists have begun working on A.D.D. medication in the form of gummy bears; science having become a respected field of study in society. A stark contrast from the darker years previous when the economy dictated that profit should outweigh progress.

On our tour through the life of King Curly, we will all be regaled with audio confessionals and journals from those that have known, grown up with and worked with His Excellency. There will also be exhibits featuring personal items and trinkets formally belonging to our more revered leader. However, please be warned that while we here at The Department of Funky Town encourage questions, we do discourage touching any of the artifacts… especially in the case of our “Curly: The Collage Days” Exhibit. This is a rule in place for the safety of both the tour guides as well as the guests. To nail the point home, an overly excited guest jumped into Curly’s dorm room bed and was promptly put into quarantine with a new disease named after him.

We the staff and tour guides are hopeful that you all enjoy learning about our most revered and fearless leader as we at the Department of Funky Town continue our work to improve the tour and the facility. And so with that said, should it please you, feel free to fill out a comment card... and don’t forget to visit the gift shop for all of your Curlyland needs. After all, nothing says complete and utter devotion like a cheaply made T‐shirt.

Welcome to Curlyland!”

Get Free Copy
0
Free copy left
You can read our best books
Next Chapter
Further Recommendations

csimesser1: If you love a biker romance with a lot of drama then this book is for you. Some of the plot was very predictable but there was plenty of twists to keep you reading. I could not stop reading it

AASTHA SHARMA: really...one of the best novel i've ever read...a very touching story....really loved it...thanks for writing such a masterpeice...the struggle of the narrator but still remaining satisfied is the thing that i liked the most...another nice thing is the concept of talking with god...in short i wou...

Ruby0h: Overall I thought your story was really good! It drew me in right away and kept me interested as the story progressed. I loved the character of Kayla being inserted into this story, and the way she affected and shaped the life of the original story into something totally new and interesting. I lo...

sherylprins: A thoroughly enjoyable read, "Everything Changes in Spring" by first time novelist Robyn Prins. An intriguing read that illustrates the effects misconceptions can have on relationships.Great characterisations with a plot filled with twist and turns that keeps you engaged throughout the whole book...

allisonflin: Without a doubt the most well written story that I have read on this site. Informative, discriptive, well punctuated. Then we have the story itself, which by the way I am waiting on the edge of my seat for part two of, the characters are more than likeable, you feel them and their emotions...

Swostika Ghimire: Seriously, now I am in love with this story.This story is making me crazy. Beginning was awesome and ending is mind blowing.I loved all the characters of this story. Thankgod I found this story here. I was about to be crazy eating for updates in wattpad.And mostly I appreciate author of this stor...

annie08c: I really like this story, I can relate to it a lot and with how she feels, the boyfriend and the events that happened but I'm a little bit younger. It was really good plot, really liked how you stuck to the topic and you had a new title for every chapter making me guess what's going to happen. Ma...

emmaneal74: I loved this booked. Would definitely buy it when published and read it again. The story flowed in such a way I just couldn't put it down. I was never confused about the characters or their roles in the story which can happen sometimes with so many lead. I'd recommend this to anyone wanting to r...

brettylee: The narrative is slick yet punchy. Life, Family and Friends I believe is the core message so it’s easy to relate to. It’s surprisingly action packed. The author does a good job at keeping you guessing. Just when you think all is right, whack, the unexpected happens. The dialogue is energetic and ...

More Recommendations

Alex Rushmer: Chapter One: Not much is happening in this chapter, but I was absolutely fascinated by the depth of your character development. I love how you just sat there with the reader and explored Eddward. Usually, that sort of thing gets boring very fast, but this was actually really cool! He's so unique ...

nakhvavaishu: just loved it...u cant put this book down once u start reading...from the very first page it is an emotional rollercoaster....the way author has described the undescribable😉 chemistry between our very own jay n aqueela its just way tooo awesome...i just felt the love n mischievious bonding betwee...

Sabrina Ettey: The story plot is great. I loved it. Just the grammar punctuation and writing style was kind of distracting. But with the smooth polishing, it may shine like a pearl. :)

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.