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Welcome to Curlyland

By Scott Barry Harper All Rights Reserved ©

Drama / Humor

Blurb

The world didn’t end in 2012. This made a lot of street preachers very upset. So they moved on to the 8th Mayan Prophecy. A prophecy that is so ludicrous that it could never happen… until it does. A seventeen year old kid with A.D.D. becomes the ruler of the whole world and endeavors to change whatever he wishes, whenever he pleases in whichever way he would like… leaving the whole world, including a group of young people, clambering in the wake of worldwide social and political change. You think your world leaders are outside of their minds? Let’s gain a little perspective shall we? Welcome to Curlyland!

Chapter 1: Tourism

“If we ever actually get our shit together and aliens came to visit, they should feel welcome and shit.”

- Curly

Hello Guests! Welcome to The Department of Funky Town!

Formally known as the Curlyland Information and Tourist Center for Extra Terrestrials, this facility was first opened in 2035 by His Excellency King Curly McAwesome as a dedication to his life’s accomplishments and required more then one thousand “detainees” and four years to construct.

As you can hear over the public address system, music from the band “Gwar” is playing over the loud speakers and is the only music allowed to be played within these walls. This is not only because they are Curly’s favourite band, but also because Curly has made “Gwar” his personal religion. Freedom of religion is encouraged in Curlyland and The Church of Gwar makes literature and discographies available should our guests be interested in joining.

Right now we are in the entrance and foyer area of the facility. Known commonly as “The Hall of Hello”, it was designed by His Excellency himself and contains 300 portraits of King Curly giving slightly different versions of the thumbs up; his go-to response to questions that he did not fully understand. Measuring at over 700 feet long, the hall itself has a moving floor to help reduce exercise and conserve energy. To quote His Excellency, “Walking around all day is a total bitch.”

You will have noticed that, over the years, everyday items have had their names changed. These new names are all part of a new language known as “Curlyspeak”; his own language that uses proper nouns, not only as a method of identification, but also so one can denote their purpose through their name. This makes it easier on His Excellency’s memory due to his inability to pay attention. Medication usually prescribed to people with Attention Deficit Disorder has been difficult to administer because, to once again quote His Excellency, “They taste like shit when you chew them.” Therefore, Curlyland scientists have begun working on A.D.D. medication in the form of gummy bears; science having become a respected field of study in society. A stark contrast from the darker years previous when the economy dictated that profit should outweigh progress.

On our tour through the life of King Curly, we will all be regaled with audio confessionals and journals from those that have known, grown up with and worked with His Excellency. There will also be exhibits featuring personal items and trinkets formally belonging to our more revered leader. However, please be warned that while we here at The Department of Funky Town encourage questions, we do discourage touching any of the artifacts… especially in the case of our “Curly: The Collage Days” Exhibit. This is a rule in place for the safety of both the tour guides as well as the guests. To nail the point home, an overly excited guest once lay upon Curly’s dorm room bed. As a result, he has been made to remain in quarantine for the last 3 years with a disease named after him. It is a far from pleasant sight.

We the staff and tour guides are hopeful that you all enjoy learning about our most revered and fearless leader. We at The Department of Funky Town are also in search of ideas for improving the tour and the facility.  And so with that said, should it please you, feel free to fill out a comment card... and don’t forget to visit the gift shop which will be open until 4 o'clock today.

Welcome to Curlyland!

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Alkira Joan: amazing story and plot, you just need to work on re reading and punctuation and gramma .'.........................................................................................................,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,..,.,.,..,.,.,..,.,.,.,..,.,..,.,.,..,.,..,.,.,.

jessiehs: This was absolutely amazing. I loved how it went back and forth between perspectives. I actually cried at the end I was so happy. This was amazing. I can't even think of another word to describe it. Thank you for writing his.

PaulSenkel: If you like Arthur C. Clarke's Odyssey, especially The Final Odyssey, then you will probably also enjoy this book. I definitely did.It does, however, address a more adolescent public than the above-mentioned book.I enjoyed the story and finished it in a few days. The overall situation on earth an...

Diana123: Wow! This story is very emotional to begin with. And then it is also exciting, interesting and amazing. There are so many moment and situations in this story that really moved me and made me want to cry (to begin with – the story about little Norm not knowing what a hug is, then the death of his ...

Ruby0h: Overall I thought your story was really good! It drew me in right away and kept me interested as the story progressed. I loved the character of Kayla being inserted into this story, and the way she affected and shaped the life of the original story into something totally new and interesting. I lo...

soccerlocco: I loved this book with few grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. The writing style was a little confusing at times but once reread could understand what it was about. overall good plot, I wish it was a series.

Melodie Prins: firstly there better be a second book because I definitely would read that it an instant. This book was amazing and had me hooked by the first chapter I can't wait for a second one (fingers crossed). I feel in love with Scott instantly and found myself wanting to read more of his life and wanting...

Shalyse Wright-Bethea: Thank god I found you. Last night I caught up on the other site and saw that people were having trouble finding you.I was so sad at the thought of not finishing the story. I look forward to more. ~ Zephyrrine

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