Chapter 1: Being Dead
Marion had been dead for about three days. She found herself in a place that was almost black. It resembled a night where there is the moon to see by, but here there was no moon, and the sky was dark grey. The ground felt like soft grass but a bit spongy, comparable to walking on a foam mattress. Marion did not feel dead, she had the feeling of a whole body that was equal to the one on the world below. She perceived her dark hair was long again, and she was in a white hospital gown. It was equivalent to a long house coat with buttons down the front. She remembered she wore something like this when at the Clinic in Geneve where she had been clinically dead for twenty minutes. Maybe she was supposed to die at that time, and then she would not have spent the romantic time with her minder, Flynn as she had done.
She tried to see around her but as far as she could tell there was nothing either above her or on the ground. There were no clouds, wind or sound. The place seemed empty. She was alone in this space with no idea of where she was or why she was here.
She walked around for what felt to her to her to be a long time. It could have been days or even weeks. Time had no meaning here. In the distance, she thought she could hear the sound of someone whispering, but it seemed to be a long way off, it could have been just her imagination, she felt lost and lonely, wondered why she was here and what she was meant to do.
After a while, she came to a barrier of some sort. It had the look of dull plastic that reflected the background. When she stood in front of it, she could not see herself. She touched it; it felt sticky and the more force she put on it, it seemed to push back. Maybe it was meant to keep people from getting out. However, then she was not people anymore. She was dead. What did that make her? She did not feel anything different; she felt the same person but without the sickness that had killed her.
She remembered her last moments on earth. Her husband Riccardo going to have a shower not knowing she was dying. She had tried to move but could not. The light had just faded away. Now as she pictured Riccardo in her country home, she could almost reach out and touch his face. Suddenly to her surprise, she was there. She looked around the lounge room and saw the boxes he had collected from her psychiatrist’s office. She knew he would do this because that is what he always did to cover his tracks. She wanted to talk to him, but she could not make her presence real. However, he looked up and saw a pale shadow that showed signs of her standing there looking at the boxes. He yelled in surprise, and the noise startled her and brought her back to the other world.
Marion sat down on the grass and contemplated the implications of what had happened. She wondered of it was an “Empath” thing. She had used this gift often in life, and now maybe she could still use it.
One thing she had noticed was that time was different here. Was time in this world out of synchronisation with the world below? She thought she had been away for a long time, and it seemed as if it was only a couple of days there. She thought she should try again and see what happened.
The next time using her mind, she tried to find her house. George and Flynn were there. In life, they had been her bodyguards and friends. She had trusted them and also kept their secrets. They were looking for something. They came into the lounge room, and George poured out a generous portion of scotch for both of them to drink, and they sat down. They were unaware of her presence.
‘We have to find the files,’ Geroge said. ‘Or we will never know if she spoke to the psychiatrist anything about our other job and this could compromise us big time.’
‘I am positive Riccardo did not take the boxes with him.’ Flynn replied. ‘They must be here somewhere; we will try again after this drink. I am sure it will give us some incite as to where he could have put them.’
Marion did not know what to do. Should she show them the secret room where she expected Riccardo would have put them? She wondered into the study and thought she would have to make her presence seen. This required her to concentrate on the moment to make herself visible.
When the boys came into the room, they could see her, and she pointed to the lever that opened the door to the secret room. She felt a pull as if she was tied to an elastic belt and she was back in the other world.
She fell back on the grass feeling tired from the mental effort. As she lay, there doubts started to come in. Had she done the right thing? What if they read the whole file, what would Flynn think of her?
The trouble with being dead was the same as in life. It did not come with a manual on what to do or how to do it. She had a feeling she had broken some unwritten rule. Perhaps she should not interfere in the world again, or at least wait for a long time to try again.
Marion tried to think about what she was and why she felt the same as if she was alive. Maybe it was her conscious mind, spirit or soul that was still alive, and it imagined that the body was there. This made some sense as she knew her body was buried in the ground. However, there must be something else, or she could not manifest herself to people on the earth.
She lay down on the ground thinking of Flynn, she could feel his distress. She felt compelled to do something. She needed to talk to him. She could picture his face in her mind. He was in bed, and his eyes were closed. His face still showed the strain of the last couple of days. At first, nothing changed, and she thought she could not reach him. She waited a long while and tried again and, this time, she was standing by his bed. She was shivering, and she called out his name.
He stirred and looked at her. ‘What the fuck.’
‘I am cold can I get into bed with you?’
Flynn rolled over to make room for her, and she climbed into bed.
‘I can feel you, and you are freezing.’ He said sounding surprised.
‘What the hell are you doing here?’
‘Do you want me to go? You only have to say leave and I will.’
‘No, it’s fun having my own ghost here.’
Suddenly it dawned on her what she was.
‘I am not a ghost, I am a spirit. A ghost is an earthbound imprint of someone who was once alive, and now they are stuck here to the end of time. I am a spirit who lives in another place. I think ghosts are scared of spirits because it reminds them of what could have been and they have no hope of gaining another world.’
‘And where is that exactly?’
‘I don’t really know. It is somewhere between time and space. It is kind of dark, and there is no way of telling time. You can tell time by the rising and setting of the sun and by the seasons. Where I am, there is no sound, no wind and the little light that there is, is the same all the time. I know I am not in heaven, or as I had read, it would be like, but I am not in hell either. Sometimes it feels like hell because I am all alone.’
Marion told Flynn about her near death experience.
’You remember when I nearly died? I went to a place that was just like the place I am in now. There was a path, and I was walking along it. In front of me was the dark figure of my dreams and he was gesturing me to follow him. I saw a light in the distance. I felt your presents, but I could not see you. However, most of all I could hear Riccardo calling to me to come back and not to die. I felt hesitant not knowing what to do. Then I thought I could not leave Riccardo in that confused state, so I fought my way back to life. I now think I was meant to die then. Then we would not have had committed adultery against him. I think that is why you see me in the hospital gown and not something else like the dress I was buried in.
‘Why are you here?’
‘The bond we had when I was alive is still in place, and I can feel your presents if I think about it. I have only to picture your face to feel what you feel. I felt your distress and think I am the cause of it. I showed you where the files from my psychiatrist were kept. I thought you would just scrutinise them to make sure that I had not betrayed you. I did not expect you to read the whole set of files. Now I feel you are angry and sad because you did not actually know about the way Riccardo treated me. I don’t want you to feel that way because he forgave me my sin’s and I forgave him his. It is important to me that you don’t hold it against him because I loved him too.’
Marion felt warm and safe in Flynn’s arms, but she knew she could not stay there.
‘I must go now as I cannot stay here long.’
“Will you come again?’
’I don’t know. I can only reach you when you are in light sleep, the part where you dream because that is when your defences are down. I call it the “Twilight Zone.” I am probably breaking some law by coming here, but I do miss you so much.
Marion felt a tug that brought her back to the other dimension.