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Spur of the moment, inspired by true events.

Humor / Other
Age Rating:

Chapter 1

I’m an asshole. I’ll admit it, own it, but not admit the minuscule pride I feel deep inside, where worms seek when attaching their addiction feelers to my soul or the prickling pear-shaped, unnamed brain area where my demons reside.

Drugs are my demon. Pussy? Eh, not so much. Wish it was. Not even dick, if that’s what you were thinking, when it isn’t the former. I’d think the same thing if I were you, or any number of women I’ve encountered who had a mild reaction that they may’ve misconstrued as an attraction.

Gimme pot, but not to cook; pass the coke, no need for a straw; if that pill is a vitamin of some kind, drop it off at the local Goodwill; itchy veins, I’ll feign diabetes, my insulin a little more colorful than yours.

If my brain is not swimming, I’m not winning. Otherwise, you’d call it depression, or regression; perhaps your judgmental side presumes suppression or oppression. No matter what, don’t hit upon passion, fashion, or MANSION!

The motivation to succeed, strive for tomorrow’s blessings from the opportunity to exhibit creative endeavors.

You need me, and people like me. Also, the homeless, the indigent, the Honda drivers, and the Casio wearers. No matter how low your rung on society’s ladder, you’ll find a way to the rationale why your chain-smoking, caffeine febrile insecure and doubtful self isn’t as bad as the cut-out you just passed wearing army fatigues and indifference, the distracted mentally feeble who doesn’t understand everyone else’s miserable physiognomies, especially when they’re in Wendy’s or Burger Sting with their family, their pride and joy, and their wife or husband is standing beside them, their rocks, their anchors, their pain-in-the-asses preventing them from going down on Kaylee in Accounting or kneeling before Jesus, the gardener. He spends most of his paycheck to his mother, did you know that?

Nope. You need the dope fiend, even if he outgrew the fiend status and submerged toward the light of moderation. Do you know his circumstances? Perhaps he isn’t using it as a wedge to divide his time up from work, family, and recreation, the recreational activities invading the family slice in that tri-force when it should’ve been or remained the former.

Oh well. Hate on me and when I flash a smile, hate me more.

For I know the score. I’m here to serve you. You deserve it.

The more that I see, the less I agree or allow myself to fall into the rabbit hole of reality. It must be a ruse, to keep us confused. But also, for them to teach us how to teach our kids that the most fundamental emotions are fear and love. Been that way since the dawn of time.

The government, representative of the powerful, and now, the corporate giants are aware of the fallibility of the human mind, soul, and temperament when the oven’s heat intensifies. They do whatever they can to get a piece of the high, whether it be a blonde when they’re with a brunette, buy a Chevy when they drive a Ford, or wear silver after gold no longer satisfies.

Never happy, nor sure why they can’t ever be.

I know, but I’ll never tell.

What a dick I must be. Oh, for sure. Except I’ve been barking and you’ve been laughing, and when now I talk, your ears are cemented shut.

Never enough.

So on I walk and balk, smoke, toke, and joke.

The joke’s on you and the praise will be, too.

Excuse me. I grinding my bud. Shitty as crap. I know my shit, and the bad shit IS the good shit. When you’re done living in the shit. No shit? Yup.

It’s not about getting high. I’ve found my Lady Di. Temp service before the full-time lover lassoes my heart. Maybe just enough for me to unwind my chest-bands, but you ain’t going to stop eating with this abstract addition.

My brain is the best computer ever invented. For now. Tomorrow’s baby will have a vastly superior hardwiring motherboard. In two hundred years, Newton will look like a toddler.

This world. . . . And all its problems, are simple to fix.

Take away the cash, take away the carrot, stop envying your neighbor, unless you accept avarice as your savior.

Why do you think now, legalizing drugs has been all the rage? Your rights? Perhaps, but when has the government or the big corporations ever cared about our rights and not their profits. Imagine a world of stoners, shrugging their shoulders and munching their beer chips while Uncle Pennybags runs laughing all the way to the bank.

And that’s the grift. Philip Morris and Company are so dumb, right? Exxon-Valdez have a coffee brand, too? 5th Avenue is found in ever city with the highest commercial rent besides Park Avenue?

You don’t say. I do, and I may be wrong. Probably am, but as they, the elite would frame it, “You! Don’t say (it)!”

Shit, that first hit is like a fine wine, another vice to help the majority in the financial minority splice and dice and suffer the most horrible price with their life, even if the firing squads and electric chairs and lethal injection found their ways to dumpsters.

A life of addiction and limited income is the truest horror where their vice becomes their noose.

Fuck them!

I know you’ll exclaim, “Oh, another Chad or Kevin or Karen or Stacy,” but what name will it be when humans are floating in Spacey? Why wait, just suck on this joint or ciggy or drink this ale, pop this pill, buy this sale, grab this piggy.

Oh, well. Excuse me. I had to pick up my disability check from the mailbox.

“Oh, so buying weed or liquor really proves your disabled welfare state of mind, fatso!”

I am fat, so?

Except that if we were to sit down and talk, for a minute or ten, you’d see the ghosts behind my eyes and realize a measly eight hundred bucks a month when I’ve tried to hold a job, analyzed the world, and crawled into a fetal ball realizing the truth and weeping like a baby, you’ll understand after hearing my past, from childhood to the last, that it’s no surprise.

Oh, well.

Flying high again, except I’m never grounded. My eyes belie my cries.

The truth is . . .

Children are the most endangered species and here’s why. . . .

Apathy is Humanity's Invasion Haven, from which Hate has taken hold.

. . . till today . . .

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Further Recommendations

stephanielaforestl: Great characters and nice story :)

Victoire: Can't wait to see what happen next I m in love with the story ! You made me want to read again !!!

tutusaus66: Se lee muy facil.Me rio un monton

cherry2limeaide: I am excited to read more of this book. Of course it needs editing but otherwise it is amazing and keeps me wanting more.

Kitty: Plot & story are good. Fast paced but much better than the dragging one

Sofiavergara: Its really relatable and cool

joblync1: I enjoyed the first book and I am really enjoying this one as well. Everything just flows and there is no unnecessary forced suspense it all just happens. I really like that. Overall I plan on reading the whole series

aanya_sejal: It was indeed a good story.

bjhamilton73: Is that it no kids no more drama, nothing.Don’t get me wrong I love this book, but I would have loved to read Mooree .

More Recommendations

bwhit1230: Oh my!!! I didn't realize there was so much more....I moved in to the second story and forgot the review so here I am! I dread the drama...They are so meant to be together...I hope it goes well for them❤️

LiaElodie: Sympathique histoire qui se lit bien.

Carolyn Russell: Great Short story. Loved the characters and storyline.

i_cry_tears_of_lemonaid: This story is an amazing story for all the trans people and gendered people it is honestly amazing

maggiev8mv: I enjoyed book 1, book 2 freaking loved it. A tad predictable, but the writing style and storytelling skills made up for it. Thank you for sharing your story!!! Now Book 3!!

Deleted User: The fact that the book ends before she even goes on the date/dinner is so frustrating. But Even though...I love your story and the rollercoasters it takes me on. 💚🖤🖤⚔☠😁☠⚔🖤🖤💚

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