Shit! I'm Sorry!

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Chapter 24~ Confusing Conflicts

Chapter 24

I’m worried. In fact, I’m so worried that I think I may hurl. Why on Earth would Ryan think that he isn’t good for me? Heck, it’s the other way around. I’m a smart ass coffee addict and Ryan is so...perfect.

Ok, enough drooling Alexis. It’s time to find out the truth about this boy. But I couldn’t do it alone. Hmm...well Kayla would help and...

I have no one else. If I got Brooklyn to help she would just tell everything with a pulse. I would take Skye but she has no clue about her brother whatsoever. What other female? doesn’t have to be a female.

I’ve got it! I’ll just ask Joshua. Kayla and Josh could help me. Kayla being the one with all the gossip and Josh being Ryan’s best friend.

Such a genius Alexis.

“So, you’re asking us to dig up the truth about Ryan?” Kayla says confusingly and Josh just stands there with an amused expression.

“Yes! That’s exactly what I’m asking. Once I know what’s happening in that boy’s life then I can figure out why he’s being so damn difficult” I say breathing out.

“I don’t know Alexis. That’s a pretty bad idea. Ryan and I have been mates since we were seven. Going behind his back isn’t cool”

I just roll my eyes, “Oh, so then you’re breaking the bro code? All good” I say sarcastically.

“No, it’s just that it’s not my information to tell. You should hear it from Ryan”

“Josh is right Alexis, I think you should back off a bit”

I was taken aback. Did Kayla actually say that? But my mind had no more to think about. It was my mouth that deciding to speak what was on my mind.

“Since when did you side with your boyfriend? Oh, I know, since you decided to keep it a secret behind your best friend’s back and ditched her every time she wanted to hang out. You never went shopping with your mum for a wedding, did you? And at the arcade the other night, you two weren’t really late, right? No need to answer. For every time I helped you out Kayla and for every time I did what you wanted, well guess what? There is no more of that. I’m sick of this and I’m sick of people lying to my god damn face. All I wanted was a little help, and as my best friend you should at least provide me with that much”

With that, I turned around with tears in my eyes and walked to the school gate. I heard Kayla calling my name out but I just ignored her and walked straight out of that hell of a school. As I power walked to my car I heard a faint voice that came closer.

“Alexis! Hey, muffin where are you going?”

I turn around to Ryan who jogged over to me. He stopped in front of me and his eyes went wide when he saw the tears in my eyes.

“Alexis, what the hell happened?”

I was so angry. I was angry at Kayla. I was angry at Joshua. I was angry with my sister. I was angry at my mum. But I wasn’t angry with Ryan. You know why? Because I couldn’t be. Not because I didn’t have a reason to but because I couldn’t find any anger in my heart towards Ryan. He was my freaking weakness.

But that didn’t change the fact that he ended up being the one who copped my breakdown.

“You want to know what happened Ryan? Well, I kind of have no one in my life that even wants to listen to me, it’s like no one cares”

I’m not being selfish. It’s the truth. There is no one who wants to hear me out. If there were then they wouldn’t lie to me, or get me so fired up.

I turned to open my car door but Ryan closed it again.

“Woah, what are you talking about?

“Don’t worry”

“No no, I’m worried”

“You said I could tell you anything, right?”

“Yeah of course”

“So, how come you don’t tell me anything? It’s a two-way street, Ryan. You can’t expect to know my life story and my problems when you don’t tell me one damn thing about yourself and expect everything to be fine. I’m so done. I need to go home, please move out of the way” I shove past Ryan, avoiding eye contact and keeping my head down. I quickly got into my car and drove off.

On the way home, I couldn’t drive anymore. So I stopped on the side, put my head to the steering the wheel and cried. There were so many thoughts ready to make me explode. My heart felt as if it had dropped. Alexis, what have you done?

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