Dude's A Lady

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Chapter Ten

My first date was actually pretty friggin awesome if I do say so myself. Blake got the girl, I didn’t lose a friend in Soph, and I got to eat a ton of food.

If that’s not a perfect date, then I don’t know what is…..which I don’t, just so we’re clear.

The weekend was pretty bliss, except that awkward part of saturday night when Sophia called me to tell me she didn’t have feelings for me. Thus damning me, Sawyer to the infamous ‘friend-zone’.

Things were finally looking up. I could finally wholeheartedly concentrate on football only. My switch a twin mission was lagging and it was time to pick up the pace.

So that’s why I’m on the football field at the crack of dawn on sunday morning. I was a pro at running for long periods of time, and quick on my feet. But my hand eye coordination was worse than a blind deaf paraplegic.

I was halfway through my training when I was interrupted by the last person I expected to see on a sunday morning.

“Whoa butter fingers, you’re actually trying.” Blake chuckled. His dark hair was disheveled in a sexy bed head and his basketball shorts hung snug from his waist. The look would have totally been a panty dropper if his shirt was gone.

Okay now I sound like a pig. I’ve been a guy for too long!

“Blake.” I grunted as I threw the football as far as I could, only partially acknowledging him. “What are you doing here?”

“Some people like to go to church on sunday mornings. I like to come to the field to practice, because football is my church.” he shrugged grabbing a ball and tossing it to me. I barely caught it and mentally chastised myself.

“I need a lot more practice.” I mumbled.

“Yes you do.” Blake agreed. We passed the ball back and forth silently for awhile before he spoke up. “I have a proposition for you butter fingers.”

“Oh and what’s that?” I raised my eyebrow.

Blake shifted on his feet nervously. It was seriously a sight to see. This is the guy who has been giving me crap since day one and he looks nervous.

I’m not ashamed to say I am totally and completely enjoying this.

“Sophia, I think she likes me.” he said with that big goofy grin on his face. I chuckled and agreed, “Well I wanted to ask her out, but i’m not sure how to do it.”

“Not clear on what you’re offering.” I shrugged.

He sighed and ran his hands through his dark hair. “I need your help asking her out, in return I’ll help catch the ball.” he offered.

“You’re willing to help me if I can get Sophia go one date with you?” I asked making sure I heard right.

“That’s all I want, is one date with her.” he said sincerely, and my heart really went out to this boy.

I sat on the grass and gestured for him to do the same. He reluctantly did and I shot out the question that’s been pestering me since I discovered his crush.

“Why Sophia?” I asked bluntly. “I know that she’s like queen bee and an all american girl, but why her? You’re a senior, a hot senior-“

Blake grimaced when I said that and I quickly realized my mistake, “I mean that’s what the girls here think anyway.” I rolled my eyes, “You could be with any of them. Why don’t you go out with them?”

Blake nodded as it looked like he was pondering this. He finally looked up and his icy blue eyes warmed just the tiniest bit, “Have you ever been in love?”

The way he said it. The way he looked. He was so confusing to understand. He was a beautiful jerk who tugged at my inner chicklit heart.

“No.” I answered honestly.

“Neither have I, but she makes me want to be in love. Soph has always just been there. Ty and I have been best friends since we were kids and Sophia has always been the girl I liked. Problem is, she has never given the time of day.” He sighed sadly. Blake looked like a sad puppy and I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around him.

“That is so sweet.” I cooed, “I-I mean, that’s so pathetic! Get off your sad ass and show Soph that you’re the Blake Orton and she’ll never find anyone better!” I yelled recovering my slip up.

“You’re right, I am the best. And Soph is gonna go on a date with me, and she’ll finally see i’m the guy of her dreams.” he declared loudly and confidently, “and you’re going to help me King.” he added.

I cracked a smile, “Hell yeah I am, and you’re going to help me.”

We shook on it-like real men do. I would help him get the girl and he’d help me get the ball.


Wednesday evening I was lounging around my house in my normal clothes when my facetime rang. Without thinking I answered it. I knew it had to be Sawyer since he was the only one to facetime me.

Oh how wrong I was…

“Vivian sweetheart, how are you?” my mother asked as soon as her face lit up my screen.

“M-mom!” I cried out surprised.”W-hat, uh why are you calling me?” I stammered nervously.

Mom frowned, not expecting my reaction. “Young lady it’s been two weeks since I’ve talked to you and that’s how you act?”

“Sorry?” I offer with a shrug.

Mom sighed and I noticed she looked genuinely exhausted. Her usual light brown eyes looked worn out, and her neat brown hair she always kept in a bun was now cascading around her shoulders.

“Mom are you okay?” I asked worriedly.

She waved me off, “I’ll be fine, this job is just a pain sometimes. That’s actually why I called you.” she beamed excitingly.

“Okay…” I drawled out unsure.

“I’m coming back to the states this weekend, so I expect you home too. It’ll be nice to see your brother and you.” she smiled before she said goodbye.

I completely and wholeheartedly panicked. As soon as the video call ended my brother called me. I picked up the phone and didn’t even get a word in edge wise.

“WE’RE SO SCREWED!” Sawyer screamed into the phone. I winced and pulled the phone away from my ear. “Mom is going to kill both of us, Vivi!”

“Shut up you idiot!” I shouted, “Just get on a plane ASAP, problem solved.”
“What? But it’s only Wednesday, mom’s not coming home until Friday night.”

“Flights idiot, booking flights are a pain in the ass on short notice.” I explained snippidly.

“Okay, but what about school?” he asked.

“Looks like you’ll have your first day. I’ll see you tomorrow. ” I said before I ended the call.

Just when I thought it was smooth sailing, BAM! Another bombshell is dropped and I have to solve it. Junior year is a bitch this year.


The next day I dressed for school and was halfway finished with my breakfast when the doorbell rang.

Who was here so early in the morning? I wasn’t expecting anyone at all this morning. I opened the front door and found my brother leaning against the door frame with a goofy smile on his face.

“You’re my doppelganger.” he teased me. I wasted no time in punching his shoulder.

“I’m waaay better looking than you.” I rolled my eyes.

“Vivian is that you?” an annoying high pitch squealed. I groaned and rolled my eyes as Nicky let her presence be known.

“Be nice.” Sawyer warned me. If it was even possible, my eye twitched just the slightest bit.

Nicky scrutinized me from head to toe. I’ll admit Nicky was pretty. She had that whole blonde goddess thing going for her. But a witch is still a witch and in my book she was a major one. Pretty or not she will forever be icky Nicky.

“Well if I didn’t know better, i’d guessed you were a dike.” she smirked. To my ditz of a brother she probably looked like she was being polite.

I don’t know what he see’s in her?

I opened the door wider and gestured for them to come in. Nicky sashayed in looking around the house skeptically. I rolled my eyes and nudged my brother.

“Why did your bring her?” I hissed.

“She wanted to come, what was I supposed to do?” he shrugged innocently.

“Tell her no?” I offered. Sawyer laughed and wrapped an arm around me.

“Relax Vivi, she’s just curious. I couldn’t leave her, I love her.” he smiled. There was no doubt he genuinely loved her. It was her feelings I questioned. Call it twin telepathy but Nicky wasn’t right for him, I could feel it.

My phone rang in pocket, halting any fighting. “Hello?” I answered without checking the caller i.d.

“Sawyer?” Blake’s voice asked, “Sorry did I get the right number?”

Oh shit. I cleared my throat and both Sawyer and Nicky watched me in amusement.

“Uh sorry dude, that was my sister.” I lied lamely.

“It’s alright King. Yo, a couple of us are skipping today, you in?” he asked.

Blake was asking if I wanted to hang out? This is complete madness. We were tolerable towards each other, mainly due to that deal but we were far from being friends. So why is he asking if I want to hang out?

“Sophia is going to be there and I kinda need your help.” he added.
“Ahh, I see. I was worried you actually wanted to hang out as friends.” I smirked. From the corner of my eye I saw Sawyer raise his eyebrow.

“You and I friends? Please i’d rather have Art screw my mom than be friends with you.” he scoffed.

“Your allegiance to your mother is sad.” I chuckled.

“We’re all meeting up at the pizzeria in an hour.” he said before hanging up.

Blake didn’t even wait for my answer. He just assumed I would go. Maybe an hour ago I would have jumped at the opportunity. It sounded like fun, and I hadn’t actually gone out and done anything fun since I moved to Illyria. But Sawyer and Nicky were here, I couldn’t just go and leave them.

Could I?

“What’s up Vivi? Who was on the phone, one of my new friends?” Sawyer smirked.

“No, you’re new frenemy.” I corrected him. “A couple of the guys from the team and the cheerleaders are skipping today. They asked if I wanted to come.”

“Hell yeah lets go!” Sawyer declared happily.

“No!” I shouted, “What am I gonna do? Walk into the damn place with my twin and his girlfriend.”

“No. You can walk in as Vivian and give your double life a rest for a day. I really want to meet these guys since they are on the same football team i’m on.” he reasoned.

“It sounds like fun.” Nicky added, “I just want to make sure none of those skanks try anything and know Sawyer’s taken.”

I rolled my eyes. “Too damn bad. We’re not going anywhere. We’re all going to stay home. And we’re not going to complain about it.” I said sternly.

“You’re no fun Vivi.” Sawyer pouted. “Please?”

“No.” I shook my head, “You don’t know anything about these guys. What if you blow my cover?”

“Teach me what you know ole wise one.” he bowed taking and knee.

“Sawyer-“

“My identity, my choice.” he sang.

“You dragged me into this.” I reminded him singing too.

“March upstairs and change Vivi. We’re going out with my new friends. They’ll meet my gorgeous girlfriend and my eh sister.” he said determinedly.

I sighed and knew there was no changing his mind. He was a stubborn ass and he got what he wanted. I marched upstairs and stripped off the Sawyer disguise.

I pulled on an off the shoulder crop top with a picture of Alex Turner and pulled on skinny jeans with my white converses. Not my best outfit, but I planned on just blending for the sake of mission switch a twin.

For the first time in a long time I applied make up. I nearly cried at the sight of my makeup. My mascara and eyeliner felt like angel kisses on my eyes. The red lipstick was like ecstasy and finally being able to curl my hair and feel down my back was absolutely heartwarming. I looked in the mirror and nearly cried.

Of course I wouldn’t risk ruining my mascara!

I was whole again. I was a girl who liked makeup, fashion, and Cosmo. But I knew it was a Cinderella deal until Sawyer high tailed out of here again.

“You ready yet!” Sawyer called. I walked downstairs and found him lounging on the couch flipping through the channels. Nicky was busy on her phone snapping selfies and scrolling through her instagram feed.

“Let’s go and get this over with.” I sighed. This wasn’t the greatest idea, but whatever Sawyer wanted, he got.

As we drove to the pizzeria, the knots in my stomach tightened. I was worried the whole time I gave Sawyer the need to knows of the Illyria gang.

I told him about Sophia and how she may seem off because of our date on Friday. I told him about Blake and how I-as Sawyer- promised to help him with Sophia.

I went on to explain that Tyson was the only one who knew my double life secret. I warned Nicky more than once to steer clear of Art because he was known to be a perv. A funny one, but a perv nonetheless. Sawyer nodded and took in all the info.

I finally allowed myself to relax when I parked the car. I quickly turned to Sawyer, “If they ask about Nicky and I just say we flew in to see you. Don’t be a cheeky bastard in there and don’t draw too much attention towards yourself.”

“Got it Vivi.” he nodded then we made it inside and found the guys pretty easily. They all sat at the biggest table and were incredibly loud.

“Ay it’s King! It’s about time you got here, we thought you actually went to school.” Art shouted obnoxiously from across the restaurant.

Tyson’s eyes locked on mine automatically as he raised his eyebrow in a wtf is going on manner. I shrugged and walked behind Sawyer who was the epitome of confidence. I, on the other hand was freaking out like a stoner on a bad trip.

“Ay maan.” Sawyer drawled on because for the love of him, he did know who Art was.

I nudged his side and discreetly whispered, “Virginator.” Sawyer nodded and sat at the table pulling Nicky down to sit on his lap.

I all but died of guilt when I saw Sophia’s crest fallen expression. I should have told Sawyer to hold off on any PDA while around Sophia.

“Who are they?” Sophia asked sweetly. But the way her face twisted in disgust when she looked at me or Nicky said she was anything but happy to see us.

“This is Nicky my girlfriend, and my sister Vivian.” Sawyer said gesturing to Nicky and I. A little embarrassed, Sawyer shifted in his seat moving Nicky of his lap. I noticed his subtle glances at Soph, but she was on her feet hugging me.

“It’s nice to finally meet you Vivian. Your brother told me you were an aspiring design student.” she said.

“I did?” Sawyer asked confused before I shot him a deadly glare. “Oh uh yeah I did.” he muttered lamely.

“Sawyer never said he had a sister. How come none of us have seen you at school?” Art asked skimming my body and stopping at my waist where the crop top stopped and my belly showed.

I glared at him, but he didn’t seem threatened as he winked at me. Tyson came over and put his hand out, putting a barrier between the Virginator and I.

“Hi i’m Tyson Pierce, nice to meet you.” he smirked knowingly.

“Hey Ty.” I smiled. “We need to talk.” I whispered when no one was looking. He nodded and we slipped away from everyone as Blake and Art started arguing over the best pizza toppings.

“Thanks for the heads up Vivo.” was the first thing he said to me.

“He wanted to meet everyone. No wasn’t exactly an option, especially since he had his mind set on meeting everyone.” I explained the complexity and stubbornness I called my twin.

“What do we do now?” Ty asked.

“Try to get through this alive? I would love you forever is you helped, you know fill in the gaps for Sawyer.” I pouted batting my eyes.

“You know this is the first time I’ve seen you actually dressed like a girl? Not bad Vivo, not bad at all.” he mused his blue eyes locking on my brown ones. Then before I could blink he kissed my cheeks.

“W-what was that for?” I stammered nervously as the heat in my cheeks rose.

“I recall you doing the same last week. Just wanted to give back. Plus I could never pass up the opportunity to kiss a pretty girl.” he smirked.

“Ty.” I muttered pushing his chest embarrassed.

“Am I interrupting something?” a voice asked. I turned and my eyes locked on Blake who I hadn’t really paid much attention too until now.

“N-no.”

“Yeah.”

Blake scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Uh we’re all heading to the lake. Okay…see ya.” he muttered embarrassed.

“I should get back to Sawyer and Nicky.” I smiled sheepishly.

“I’ll see you at the lake?” Ty asked.

“Yeah I’ll catch you later.” I nodded punch his arm for good friendly measure.


“Give me the DL on the blonde.” Sawyer said once we were alone. Everyone was swimming in the lake and the late afternoon sun was slowly disappearing.

“That’s Sophia Pierce.” I raised my eyebrow, “The girl I was trying to hook you up with. But now she’s off the market.”

“Why?” he asked, his gaze never tearing away from Sophia as she swam close to Blake and Ty.

“I kinda made a deal with the devil.” I mumbled, “Blake really likes her and I promised if he helped me train, then I’d help him get the girl.”

“Speak and you shall receive.” Sawyer growled under his breath when Blake emerged from the water. His eyes locked on Sawyer then me.

“Hey Sawyer can I talk to you about that thing you’re supposed to help me with?” Blake said pointedly making it clear he wanted me gone. Sawyer clearly wasn’t having any of it.

“Whatever you have to say to me, Vivi can hear.” he said defiantly. Blake rubbed the back of his neck and sighed reluctantly.

“Fine.” he huffed and sat down by Sawyer and I. “Soph it’s about her. What should I do with her, I mean I feel like she likes me. But i’m not sure if I should just go ahead and ask her.”

“No!” Sawyer and I both exclaimed.

“Uh okay?”

“What Sawyer and I mean is that you’ll freak her out. Take it slow.” I advised him.

“What do you think Butter Fingers?” he asked turning towards Sawyer. My brother glared at him then flipped him off and walked away. “What’s up with him?”

I groaned and glared at Sawyer’s retreating back. “He’s just off today.” I muttered lamely.

I’m gonna kill Sawyer if he blows my cover.

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