Chapter Thirty Four
“How’s everything in Boston?” Sawyer asked as we video chatted. It was a few days after my winter final and school was about to let out for winter break.
“Cold….and a little hectic.” I shrugged.
“Are you packed yet? You are coming home right? Dad is coming and he’s bringing his new fiancee.” He reminded me, of the family memo our dad had sent out two weeks prior.
“I’m still coming home, Saw. No need to check up on me.” I reassured him. “How’s mom? I heard from her that her office in Australia let her come home after thanksgiving.”
“She’s here…always here.” Sawyer over emphasised.
“I know it’s hard to grasp, because we haven’t had the greatest parental figures. But they kinda do that. You know, at home for breakfast and dinner.” I replied cheekily, imagining the foreign territory for Sawyer.
“Sophia and I hadn’t been alone since she’s come back.” he grumbled.
“Thank god, I’m still waiting for her to see she can do better than you.” I joked.
“Says the forever alone cat lady.” Sawyer retorted.
“Jokes on you, I’m allergic cats.” I scoffed.
“You are the joke.” he chuckled. I rolled my eyes in defeat. He had won this round, I could give him that. “So after Christmas, are you going to stick around or are you going to leave?” he asked.
Since Maddie Dale was a private school, the holidays were different. We weren’t given a spring break, because the end of the year was reserved for showcases. However, to make up for it, we were given a longer winter break.
I still hadn’t decided where I was going. I knew Illyria was the answer for the holidays. But afterwards, was still up in the air.
“Not sure. I’ll see how things go when I get there.” I shrugged.
“You should definitely stay.” he blurted, “You can distract mom, while I try to plan out some alone time with Soph.” he grinned, as the gears turned in his head.
“Not getting sucked into your schemes for love anymore.” I reminded him.
“You say schemes, I say bulletproof plans.” he waved me off. I stared at him flatly, not at all amused. “I’m kidding! You know I won’t make that mistake twice.”
“And I won’t say yes to your plans so easily.” I sighed wearily.
“I hope you do stay a little longer though. Soph and I miss you.” he said sincerely. “Plus I can think of a couple other guys that miss you too.”
“Huh?” I furrowed my brows. My brother smirked knowingly.
“Tyson and Blake have been on autopilot since you’ve left. They don’t even try socializing with each other. You screwed those guys over sis.” Sawyer laughed, shaking his head.
“How is that my fault?” I huffed, “They both have their huge egos to blame. I just tried to fix them up, but some fences can’t be mended. Sometimes you have to tear that fence down and move to a different neighborhood. That’s what happened to them.” I explained, as I had remembered how Blake said, sometimes things change and you can’t go back.
But what if I wanted to go back? What if I wanted to rewind my feelings into nonexistence.
The only true reason holding me back from staying at home was those boys. I could avoid them for a week. But a month long in hiding, wasn’t exactly appealing. In fact, it made me nauseous with nerves just thinking about it.
“Come, stay, save me from….mom.” Sawyer hissed, before quickly looking over his shoulder. I laughed and shook my head.
“I’ll think about it.” I promised him.
Two weeks passed in a flash and many of the girls were all packing. Myself, and the intimidation nation as well.
“Antoine you can’t take my Victoria secret bra!” Lewiza called from down the hall. Antoine ran into our room quickly, and locked the door behind him. Seconds later, Lewiza’s fists began to bang on the door.
“Drag night at the Pyramid Club is essential!” Antoine cried out, “Come one Lew, it’s just one bra, I swear I’ll bring it back in one piece!”
“Unless some hot rebound rips it off with his teeth.” I wiggled my eyebrows, suggestively. Antoine smirked and winked at me.
“A boy can wish.” he sighed wistfully.
“Give me back my bra, you nutter! I have to finish packing!” Lewiza growled.
“Lewiza as my best friend, it is in our code that we share clothes. Obviously there are some issues in that particular rule, but I have found an exception. So I will not be returning this bra until after the holidays. Thank you and good day.” Antoine recited in a commercialised voice.
“I said good day!” He snapped, before moving away from the door and throwing the bra, carelessly, into his suitcase.
“She’s going to kill you.” I said surely. Antoine shrugged and began to zip up his bag.
“As long as she does it after the holidays. I already have a date with an ex boyfriend, and then two other dates with these guys I matched up with on gaydar.” Antoine said, searching his messy bed for something. He huffed once, and looked over to me, “Have you seen my phone? I swear it was on my bed earlier.” he mumbled when my phone went off.
I reached over and unlocked my phone. It was a group text, and a gif of Lewiza dunking Antoine’s phone in the toilet. I raised my eyebrow and met Antoine’s curious gaze.
“Just found your phone.” I mumbled, lifting my phone to show him. His eyes widened in horror. “That Lewiza, is quite the character.”
“She is quite dead!” Antoine cried out angrily, before he stormed out of the room. In his wake, shoving Dom out of the way.
“What’s up with him?” she asked, gesturing to Antoine who was long gone.
“Did you check the group message?” I raised my eyebrow. Dom paused, and retrieved her phone, letting out a small snort as she pocketed it again.
“This is going to be a long night.” she sighed, “So are you heading back to Virginia this weekend?”
“Yeah….the whole family is coming home.” I shrugged, throwing in more items into my suitcase.
“Home? Illyria is home now?” she smirked knowingly. I didn’t use that term loosely, like others mindlessly did. Home was a hard concept for me, but it wasn’t Illyria that felt like home.
It was who was there waiting for me, that felt like home.
“Home, is where my family is. It’s only home when Sawyer is there. I’ve learned that in the last few months.” I smiled softly, before I returned to packing.
“Are you planning on running into anybody while you’re there?” she asked, but even with my back turned, I could hear the smirk in her voice. I knew who she was alluding to.
“It’s a small town. I’m sure I’ll run into Marie and Art. Though, if Art slaps my butt again, I’ll slap him right back….with a brick….in the face….multiple times.” I answered bluntly, avoiding the one’s that shall remain nameless.
“You know I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about two boys in particular. One blonde, one brunette, both incredibly handsome….” she trailed off, insinuating I connect the dots.
“If Gail and Peeta are there, I’ll flip shit. But it’s stretch, don’t you think Dom?” I replied cheekily. Dom groaned and threw herself on my bed, as she looked quite annoyed.
“One day you’re going to be sarcastic at the wrong time, and someone will stab you.” she warned me, “I’m talking about Tyson and Blake, you walking cliche!” she snapped.
“Oh them?” I mumbled, “Yeah, I don’t think I’ll have time to see them. I’ll be much too busy…”
“Solving fucking FBI Cases with Garcia, Morgan, and Reed! Or maybe slaying vampires with Buffy Summers! Who knows, I’m a busy woman.” I cried out hysterically, throwing myself next to Dom.
“Netflix doesn’t make you busy. You need to sort this out while you’re home, Vi. No more hiding.” Dom said simply, because with her everything was simple. In her world, everything was very black and white.
In my world. I was cursed with blotches of grey. There was no sense of direction. My life was one huge misstep after another. It was like solving a puzzle, and none of the pieces ever matched up.
I was clueless when it came to my own life decisions. But she was right. I needed to sort this out. I needed to get it out there, even if the boys didn’t feel the same.
Because I needed validation for my own feelings. For myself.
“Don’t just go home, stay there the entire break. Trust me, there’s no other place you need to be.”
I stared at my half packed suitcase, and nodded. “I hope I’m making the right decision this time.” I sighed in a shaky breath.
“You couldn’t be worse than Lewiza. She’s probably somewhere hiding in the building, and Antoine’s in a rampage.” Dom chuckled, easing my nerves.
“Where’s Chloe? She’s been awfully quiet today.” I frowned, as the absence of my favorite baby squirrel had been noticeable.
“She’s in your closet again.” Dom answered bluntly, gesturing the closed door
“Chlo, come out!” Dom called to her, and to my surprise Chloe came stumbling out of the closet.
“Hey ladies!” she beamed, before she plopped herself on my floor and looked up at us like a puppy.
“How long have you been in my closet?” I asked in shock.
“Since this afternoon. I haven’t been able to sleep in my own room, since I slept in your closet. Your weird sleep talk is actually soothing.” she explained, stretching her limbs out.
“Chloe! There’s boundaries, and you are really crossing them!” I growled, in frustration.
“Sweetie, you should know by now. I don’t follow the norm. Learn it-accept it-embrace the fuck out of it. The rest of these saps have.” Chloe said in a sweet voice, that contrasted her aggressive message.
“Fine.” I sighed, tiredly as a migraine came on.
“Good, because I accidentally broke one of your heels. Note to self- Louis Vuitton’s are not acceptable substitutes for ninja stars.”
“Chloe!” I growled.
“Enough of the unnecessary drama, ladies. Vivian has real issues to tackle when she gets home.” Dom interrupted the oncoming death of the baby squirrel.
“Dom is right.” Chloe said ignoring me, “You need to choose. Now, I’m personally a Vivson shipper.” she declared, with a wide smile.
“Chloe, this isn’t a ship war-”
“Because Blivian is going to sink your poor ship anyway.” Dom smirked at Chloe, actually stooping to her level.
“You guys, made ship names?” I furrowed my brows.
“Vivson-Vivian and Tyson. It’s cute, and is indestructible.” Chloe said pointedly to Dom.
“Blivian- Blake and Vivian. It’s beautiful and nothing could sink it.” Dom said, narrowing her eyes at Chloe.
“My love life-or lack of- is not a ship to be sailed or sunk. So stop with all this fangirl fiasco.” I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest.
“But it is!” Chloe argued. “You have to choose Ty, he’s the total package.”
“She has to choose Blake! And she’s practically related to Ty. I think we can all agree that Sawyer and Sophia are seeing wedding bells in the near future.” Dom retorted, rolling her eyes at Chloe.
“That shouldn’t matter! They’re not blood related. Besides, if she gets with Blake she’ll be feeding into the cliche! The good girl, falls for the bad boy. Haven’t heard that one yet!” Chloe bit out sarcastically.
“Oh yeah, and falling for her best friend isn’t cliche enough!” Dom laughed bitterly, “Get real! She was impacted more by Blake in the short period they knew each other than she ever was with Ty. She trusted a practical stranger when she felt down in the dumps.”
“She did the same with Ty! Who was the first to know about her double life?” Chloe pointed out.
“That doesn’t count! He walked in on her, it’s not like she trusted him to stay quiet!” Dom scoffed. “Blake and her have something that Ty could never relate to. They both come from broken ideas of family. They can heal each other!”
“But Ty and Vi share strong sibling bonds. An outsider can’t relate to that. Ty helped keep her secret because he understood how much Sawyer meant to Vivian. She loves him-that’s obvious.”
“That’s brotherly love. She loves him because he was a replacement for Sawyer when he was gone. If that’s not obvious, I don’t know what is?” Dom sighed, tiredly.
“With Blake, it’s guilty love! That doesn’t make it right!” Chloe snapped. “Ty is the man-end of discussion.”
“Blake never had any competition. The discussion was non-existent.” Dom raised her eyebrow.
“You guys really gave this some thought.” I mumbled, jolted by all the passion each girl had. My hands shook in nerves, as they had not only argued their points. But made me question what these two boys meant to me.
Was one really greater than the other? Was risking it all, really worth it?