Dude's A Lady

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Chapter Seven

Being a wide receiver was…different.

That could sum it up. The painful truth of my football abilities only went so far.

I could run. Hell, I could run faster than anyone on the team. My speed was about equivalent to the Road Runner or Speedy Gonzalez…my agility was legendary, like the Energizer Bunny.

My hand eye coordination was…well I couldn’t catch the damn ball even if it was flying at slug speed and the size of the ball was two times as large.

“King that was all yours!” Blake yelled frustrated as he threw his helmet on the ground.

“I was at left…you totally threw it far left!” I yelled nonsense. It was totally my fault…but I will never say that out loud.

I like kicking balls away, not catching them with my face!

“King, you were wide open.” Blake rolled his eyes as he ran his fingers through his drenched hair.

I bit my lip as his memorizing dark blue eyes glared at me. He was angry…and it was hot?

Focus Vivian. You came here for a reason!

“Practice is over!” Blake yelled out as the rest of the guys groaned.

Everyone jogged off the field and made a beeline for the locker room. I was more than hesitant.

Seeing as I was behind everyone, I tried to sneak off the field. However my luck was pretty crappy.

“Sawyer where ya going?” Tyson asked jogging up to me.

“I-I’m uh…going to get my towel?” I spluttered uncontrollably.

Tyson raised his eyebrow, “Dude there’s towels in the locker room come on.” he said dragging me along.

I groaned as horrid flashbacks of Sawyers closet test played on loop. If Sawyer’s room smelled like peaches I didn’t even want to imagine the foul stench the locker room produced.

As Tyson closed the door, I stood stunned beyond repair. There right in front of my precious virgin eyes were walking beef cakes. After today I could honestly say I knew what a male’s making was.

Guys of all sizes walked around in boxers, shirtless, or wrapped in waist slung towels. The abs, the lean muscles, the dripping water droplets; all on display for my eyes.

I gasped as Tyson peeled off his clothes and wrapped a towel around him and headed for the steamed filled showers.

“You hitting the showers anytime soon King?” he asked over his shoulder.

I noticed then that all the guys were already heading for the showers. My mouth moved up and down trying to form a coherent sentence.

“Y-yyas!” I squeaked before I adjusted my voice with a manly cough, “YEAH TIME TO GET WET!”

Should I face palm now or later?

“No need to get excited butter fingers.” Blake grunted shouldering past me roughly. “You hit the showers last since you couldn’t catch the ball today. I’m sure you won’t mind the cold water.” he laughed.

I rolled my eyes but didn’t retort. Either way, it was a win for me. I won’t have to get naked….I don’t want to expose my lady bits, especially to the whole football team.

Soon the guys were done getting dressed and headed out and I was left alone in the locker room.

I took off the football uniform and ripped off the wig. Quickly I turned on the shower only to assaulted by ice cold water. I stripped off the rest of my underwear and carefully untaped my boobs.

It’s not a welcoming feeling just so you know….

I did my ritual shampoo, condition, rinse, and repeat. I stepped out of the cold shower when I grabbed lotion and started to moisturize….that’s when the door opened.

“Oh my god!” he yelled as I let out a high pitch scream.

I quickly grabbed a towel and covered myself.”What are you doing in here!” I shouted.

“What are you doing in here?” Tyson shot back blushing wildly. I don’t doubt I looked just the same. “Wait….Sawyer is that you?”

I stilled, my hair dripping a puddle of water on the ground. I looked around the room, trying to find a way out of this bind. However, I realized there was no way around this.

“My name isn’t really Sawyer.” I confessed.

“You mean, you were born with girl parts and turning into a guy?” I shook my head.

“No. My name is Vivian King, my twin brother Sawyer is in California right now and I’m filling in for him.” I explained growing uncomfortable.

Tyson shook his head as if trying to retain all this information. “Wait, you’re Vivian , Sawyers twin. You’re acting like him…why?”

And that’s when I told him about Nicky and Verona. My fine arts school in Massachusetts, my absent parents and the twin pact.

“What happens when everyone finds out you’re really a girl?” he asked.

I bit my lip, “That’s up to you.” I said softly, “You can walk out there and tell everyone who I really am. My brother gets sent back home and I’ll probably get shipped off to my dad’s in England.”

“Your parents would really separate you two?”

I nodded, “They don’t care, but my brother and I do. We’re all we have left. It’s one thing to live a couple hours away from each other, but a different continent? Could you imagine being separated from Sophia?”

Tyson didn’t have to think too long. He loved Sophia just as much as I loved Sawyer. “Your secret’s safe with me.” he promised before he added, “you should be more careful Vivian, anyone can walk in here. If it was Blake, i’m sure he wouldn’t have an issue outing you and your brother.”

He was right. I should have been more careful. I was really close to ruining operation Switch a Twin.

“Thank you Ty!” I cried out attacking him in a huge hug. He reluctantly hugged me back.

“I think you should get dressed.” he mumbled shyly. My eyes widened and I jumped back realizing I was still in only a towel.

“Dear god you saw everything.” I hissed. Tyson cracked a grin.

“Yeah I did.” he smirked.

Die. Die of embarrassment already Vivian!


Two days…its been two days since the locker room incident. Tyson has been acting normally, maybe lying came easy to him. I on the other hand have been more on edge.

I was sitting in English and the teacher told the class to make groups of four.

I’m currently in an uncomfortable position between Sophia, and Blake. Sophia talking to me about Coldplay’s next tour, Blake trying to put a word in edgewise and Marie trying to play footsie with me.

“I have to go to the bathroom!” I announced loudly, itching to get out of the class.

Mrs.Gage purses her lips in disapproval but allows me the pass. I dash out of the class before anyone can blink. Once i’m in the hall, I allow myself to relax and walk around aimlessly.

It’s the least I can do to clear my head. This whole plan - switching places is really nerve wracking.

“Vivian?” Tyson hisses.

I glare at him, “My name is Sawyer until my brother comes back.”

“You’re gonna drive yourself crazy if you keep this up Vivo.” he frowned.

Vivo?” I raise my eyebrow.

Tyson shrugged smirking lightly, “It’s cute, plus you call me Ty. It’s only fair.” he points out.

“Touché.” I nod, “What are you doing out of class?”

He thinks for a moment before he shrugs, “I always skip Economics, the teacher never does a head count anyway. What about you Miss.Perfect?”

“I’m trying not to go crazy.” I admit, “I’m in a group with Soph, Blake, and Marie.”

“Oh that’s bad.” he winces, “Blake thinks you’re into Soph and Marie is a walking sex pod.”

“Yeah well I’m not into Soph like that-“

“You’re not?” Sophia asks, emerging from corner of the hall.

I still and I think I’ve paled over. Tyson seems to be shocked as well. But Sophia breaks the silence.

“You really don’t like me…you know like that?” she asks hurt.

“I-” I mutter, “You don’t like me like that either Soph. We’re friends right?” I ask tentatively trying to maneuver out of this as easily as possible.

She hesitates and looks genuinely hurt, “Yeah your right.” she finally mutters, “We’re just friends, that’s all we’ll ever be. I should get back to class, I’ll see you guys later.”

Soph leaves and a sad aura follows her. She’s much to pretty to be hung up on a guy like me. Maybe winning her over for Sawyer was a bad idea. She’s too nice and I can’t deceive her like that.

“That’s never happened.” Ty mumbled shocked.

“What?” I ask confused.

“No one has ever downright rejected my sister. Every guy she’s ever met has always fought for her attention…the BAM! You just friend zoned her.” Tyson explained.

“Well technically i’m not just any guy. I’m girl.” I reminded him.

“Dude’s a lady.” he nodded.


“I don’t want to.” I protested.

“You need to, it’s the only way.” Ty shot back.

“I should be home, there’s a full season of Breaking Bad waiting for me!” I whined….I really really wanted to watch it!

“Listen, if you want to be one of the guys then you actually have to hang out with us.”

Ty wanted me to go out and hang with a couple guys from the team. I was not looking forward to it. Especially because Blake would be there.

“What if I don’t fit in, what if they hate me?” I cried out.

“Then you flash them your boobs, they’ll be putty in your hands.” he said, and I wasn’t sure if he was joking or not.

“What?!?!” I squeaked puching his arms. “I will not…never in a million years let anyone see my lady bits!”

“Um kinda already did Vivo.” he smirked triumphantly ruffling my wig. I slapped his hand away and adjusted it.

“Perv.” I grumbled pushing the door open to the pizzeria. The heavenly smell of pizza hit me like knockout.

I love pizza. If I could marry pizza I would, there wouldn’t be a second thought. Even opening a pizza place of my own would be financially disastrous because I would eat all pizza instead of selling them.

“Keep the drool off your chin Vivo.” Tyson mumbled under his breath before he set his trail on a group.of guys pigging out on pizza. “Orton!”

Blake turned around with a smile. It was the first time i’d seen him smile. Usually I got a glare, a blank face, and occasionally a smirk. It was a nice smile, he looked to happy and carefree. Nothing like the boy who hates my guts.

As if reading my mind, his smile vanishes once he see’s me. His usual cold glare turns to me.

“I thought you’d bring Soph not him. ” he growled as he regarded me as nothing more than a pest.

“Sawyer can hang out with us.” Ty defended me patting my back,”Any friend of Soph is a friend of mine.”

“Did Soph’s friend tell you how he made your sister cry?” Blake challenged when we all sat down to eat.

Sophia cried? I feel so horrible….

“I was there, I saw everything.” Ty nodded taking a huge bit of his meat lovers pizza.

“And you’re not going to pound his head in?” Blake cried out frustrated.

Tyson thought about it for a minute. Maybe he’ll disregard the fact that i’m really a girl and just punch me in the face. I knew he would do it for Sophia.

“Nah.” Ty shook his head, “Sawyer just told Soph he doesn’t like her in anyway but in a platonic way. About time too, I’ve been waiting for a friend who doesn’t want to sack my sister.”

“You don’t like Sophia?” A boy sitting across from shouted.

“Uh…no?” I murmured.

“Dude, she’s like the hottest girl ever! Most of the senior boys like Blake and I would kill for her to like us back….Especially Blakey here. He’s had a crush on the poor girl since diapers.” the guy smirked elbowing Blake as he winced.

“Shut up Art!” Blake barked shoving him roughly.

“Relax Blake it’s just a joke.” This Art fellow chuckled.

Tyson gestured to Art and introduced us, “Sawyer this is Artemis Louis Palomin but we just call him Art.” he said.

“Your name’s Artemis?” I asked politely.

“Yeah like the Roman god of war.” he nodded.

That’s not right. I studied GREEK mythology last year.

“Artemis is the greek goddess of chastity.” I corrected him, Art tried to shut me up but it was too late.

Blake and Tyson were cracking up. “You were named after a greek goddess, the virgin greek godess?” Blake spluttered laughing.

“Oh the irony!” Ty cried out holding his waist.

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

“Art is the virginator he sleeps with all the virgins in town.” Ty explained.

“Why would your mom give you such a …unique name like that?” I asked curiously.

“I’m half Greek and half Mexican, my mom wanted a girl and she wanted a Greek name. Once I was born she realized I was a boy but refused to change it.” he recounted embarrassingly, before quietly adding “Dad was such a push over.”

The rest of the pizza dinner was nice. If you don’t count Blake directly glaring at me and being obsessively rude nice.

We were all leaving when I caught up with Art. “Listen man I’m sorry about the whole name thing inside. I seriously thought you didn’t know.” I apologized.

He waved me off with a chuckle, “Makes for a good story. Don’t sweat it King, you’re actually pretty cool. Oh and don’t let Blake get to to you,he’s just jealous.” he added before we went our separate ways.

Blake was jealous of me?

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