The person I come eye to eye with is not who I’d expect to see here in a million years. His brown eyes stare at me, concerned like I’m a lost child.
“What’re you doing here?” My eyes narrow at him as he sits in front of me.
“I figured I go to a party since I’ve been in town for a while,” I sit back in my seat and scroll on my phone.
“How’d you even get in? There’s a list and everything,” My phone buzzes and a text from Adam pops up on my screen. I open the text and I nearly groan the sight of it.
Hey what I’m doing is taking a bit longer than what I expected. I’ll come find you in like thirty minutes. Have fuuuuuuun!
“I have my ways Gia, I have my ways,” The name makes me look up from my phone, “I’m sorry, I mean Bo,” I roll my eyes and set my phone on the table, “How’ve you been since we last saw each other?”
“Why are you still here?” I evade his question with a sharp attitude. I know it’s mean but he deserves it. Especially after everything he’s done to me.
“I’m still here because I love you, Bo, you know that I love you,” He reaches across the table to grab my hand but I move it away the second I realize what he’s doing.
“You don’t get to say that to me, if you ever did love me, you wouldn’t have done what you did,” I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear and cross my arms, “Well how about you leave me alone. Just because you took me out for ice cream doesn’t mean I forgive you for anything you did David.”
“I know what happened was bad but I didn’t think it would ruin our relationship.”
My eyes nearly fall out of my head, he’s got to be fucking kidding me!
“You’re joking right?” I ask incredulously as I stand up from the table, “What you did was EXTREMELY unforgivable, my life is ruined because of you, I have to constantly look over my shoulder because of you.”
I take my phone and walk away from him. Without thinking, I take a couple Jell-O shots from a platter that sits on the kitchen table. I down them both and take one more for good measure. If I’m gonna be here tonight, I might as well have fun.
My body sways to the music as I stand in the front room where most people are. The DJ is on a large pedestal and as I move to his mixes, I take a drink from my cup. It’s straight liquor and it’s doing its job. I refill my cup with a pina colada that tastes pretty amazing.
“Hey! I’ve been looking for you!” Adam approaches me and I smile as he does, “You look like you’re having fun!”
“I am!” I reply, chugging my drink before dropping the cup and taking Adam’s hand, “Come dance with me,” I shout, pulling him to where everyone is. It looks like a gigantic orgy but I don’t mind. I start dancing, twirling in circles as the music continues beating through my body.
My head feels like it’s swimming, similar to when I was smoking pot with Adrian and Lukas. That was a fun time, a non-stressful time, just like this.
I take Adam’s hands and place them on my waist as I purposely dance close to him. He turns me around and I grind up against him. I feel like I’m in my own world right now, with just Adam, me and the music.
“You’re doing things to me, Bo!” Adam shouts as he spins me around, “I think we should stop,” I barely hear what he says because the music is so loud but I know exactly what he’s said.
“Stop?” I ask, “Why? What’s the point of worrying when we can just live in the moment, Adam! Live in the moment!”
He furrows his eyebrows at me, “What’s wrong?”
I can easily take that as an insult. Just because I want to have fun all of a sudden doesn’t mean something is wrong, it means I’ve realized life is short and I want to live it.
“Nothing’s wrong! Just forget I said anything,” I say, leaving the room.
“Bo! Where are you going?!” I hear Adam yell after me but I keep walking. I walk out the front door and the cold air from the outside hits me like a ton of bricks. I shiver at the cold of the night but I keep walking.
I just noticed that every time I go to a party, it turns out bad. Maybe it’s every time I go to a party with Adam. I think I should stop hanging out with him.
I like him a lot but I know he’s not the right guy for me. Adam is more of a protector than a lover in my eyes. I could be wrong for all I know, I thought David was a lover but in reality, he was just a cold-hearted bastard.
I feel chills run through my body again as the wind blows. My phone buzzes and I check to see it’s almost 12:45. Multiple texts from Adam keep popping up on the screen and I turn my phone on silent so I don’t have to deal with him anymore. I don’t want to deal with anyone anymore.
I wonder what Lukas is doing right now. Probably enjoying his life, being a normal teenager and worrying about teenager things like having a girlfriend and making sure his mom doesn’t know about him smoking weed.
I worry about other things. Things so different from what he probably does. I roll my eyes at the thought of my life. My life sucks dick. Big dick.
I feel like this cold weather should sober me up. Or maybe it won’t, I don’t know. I’m over it though. I’m over life at the moment, anything can happen to me and I know I won’t care.
I just won’t care.