My body jolted awake in the middle of the night, a direct result of the terrifying nightmare I was having. I kept seeing Ros hurting me in despicable ways and I was too powerless to stop him.
When I opened my eyes, I was relieved to be back to reality but noticed the space beside me was empty.
Ryan wasn’t in bed.
“Where could he have gone?” I thought to myself. “Maybe to feed?”
I could no longer go back to sleep, so I sat up in bed and just stared at the wall opposite me. After about five minutes of doing nothing, I decided to walk around. It was better than boring myself to death in that bedroom.
As soon as I stepped out of the bedroom, I noticed light rays in the hallway. The light was coming from an open bedroom door not far from the one I just exited.
“It could be Ryan in there.”
I got to the doorway, and stopped at the sound of a feminine voice. She was telling whoever she was having a conversation with how crazy she was about them. Out of curiosity, I peered inside and felt my heart drop to my feet.
Trina Bayle was sitting on the bed with her hand on Ryan’s face!
A mixture of confusion, shock and jealousy hit me from all sides. I didn’t even know where to begin to process what I had just seen. For starters, I didn’t know Ryan even knew Trina Bayle. Even if they knew each other, I had no idea what on earth she was doing in his house... and at that time of the night!
I stormed out in anger and marched down the hallway. I didn’t even know where I was going but I wanted to get as far away from them as possible.
I heard Ryan calling my name from behind me but I didn’t bother to stop. I had pretty much had enough of the Soille brothers. Thinking about things in retrospect, my life was very close to perfect before they showed up and now, it was one big mess - no thanks to them.
I had barely taken five steps when Ryan appeared in front of me, sweeping me into his arms.
“Get away from me!” I snapped.
I don’t even know why I was that upset but I felt like my blood was boiling within my veins. Looking at him only got me more upset and I just wanted him gone.
Ryan ignored my words and scooped me off my feet.
“Put me down!” I yelled.
I had barely finished the sentence when I found myself back on the bed in Ryan’s room. He had moved me with super speed and while I was still trying to process my new location, I saw him lock the door and come back to the bed. He dangled the keys in front of me and smiled.
“What’s so funny?”
“You can’t keep me here against my wish.” I frowned.
“...and you can’t assume things without asking first.” He replied.
“I don’t need to...” I started, but Ryan cut me off.
“She died saving you, Selena!”
For a moment, everything fell silent. The weight of his words sank into my consciousness like a concrete boulder tossed into a river.
“She... what?” I asked.
“When I was fighting Ros off at the Cathedral, Trina was pulling you out to safety. Ros got away from me and killed her.” Ryan replied.
“Um...” I didn’t know what else to say.
I felt deflated, guilty and sorry at the same time.
“She was already dying when I got to her. I had no choice but to turn her. She just woke up from the sleep of death and what you saw back there was me helping her deal with her heightened emotions.” Ryan continued.
I couldn’t believe Trina Bayle was dead... and because of me. I wanted to cry but that would seem ridiculous. She was technically dead but she was still alive. Just as a Vampire. I hated Ros even more after hearing what he did to Trina.
“I’m sorry.” I apologized.
I was still upset at him for sitting there with her like that but I understood. Trina was having a hard time adjusting to the changes and Ryan being as sweet as he normally is, was there to help.
I knew I would freak out if I found out I was a Vampire, and helping Trina was the right thing to do.
“I was never upset with you, my love.” Ryan smiled. “I like the pout though.”
I smiled at his tease, not realizing I was even pouting in the first place.
“I don’t want you to ever bother about anyone being with me. My heart is all yours. It has always been.” Ryan smiled, pulling me into his arms.
I smiled back at him and he pulled my chin up with his index finger. My gaze met with his intense green orbs and they burned with a warm fire. For a moment, I was lost... drowned... and I melted into his beautiful gaze.
He brought his face down and claimed my lips with his.
In a moment of panic, I pulled back and ran into the bathroom. I didn’t look back at Ryan but I knew he would be shocked by my actions. I didn’t care. I just couldn’t kiss him... not after what happened with Ros.
I felt like I was undeserving of him. I felt like he wouldn’t want to kiss me if he knew.
I heard Ryan calling me from outside the bathroom door. I wanted to run into his arms and tell him to make everything okay but I couldn’t. He couldn’t make things okay. He couldn’t change what I had done.
“Selena... Please. Just come out and talk to me.” I heard him say from outside.
This time, I opened the door and just stared at him with tears in my eyes. He came into the bathroom and held me close.
“I’m sorry.” He apologized. “I shouldn’t have done that so soon. I know you’ll need some time to get to know me... in this lifetime.”
I wasn’t crying because he kissed me. I didn’t really need time to get to know him. I just wanted to tell him the truth but the words burned at the back of my throat. I was so scared of what his reaction would be. He was sure to look at me different and I wasn’t sure I was ready to deal with that yet.
Ryan picked me up and took me back into the room. He turned on the sound system and just danced with me. We danced to a slow and lovely song I had never heard before but instantly liked. It was a sweet gesture but he reminded me so much of Ros.
Ros had danced with me that night before I gave myself to him and for some reason, I couldn’t get it out of my mind. The guilt was killing me on the inside but the words I needed failed to come out.
“I can sense your resistance.” Ryan whispered. “I want you to know that it’s okay.”
I froze on the spot just listening to his words. What was okay? Did he somehow know what Ros and I did? There was no way he could have known or was there?
“OMG Vampires can hear my thoughts.” I freaked out in my mind.
“Only when they’re listening... and I’m listening right now because I’m desperately trying to get through to you.” Ryan whispered.
He pulled away from me so he could look straight at my face.
“So you still don’t know?” I asked, cutting him off.
“Know what?” He asked.
In that moment, I regretted asking if he didn’t know. It wasn’t the right time to tell him something like that. What if he freaked out?
“Selena, whatever it is, you can tell me. I’m just here to love you.”
“You promise not to hate me?” I asked.
“How bad is it?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Like... really bad.”
I ran to him and buried my face in his chest.
“Okay. It’s not like I can hate you so let’s hear it.” He said.
“Um... When Ros took me, he pretended to be you at first and he told me so many things we shared and I didn’t really know it wasn’t him...”
“And what happened?” Ryan asked.
The smile on his face had disappeared and he just had his normal focused look on. I was really scared to tell him but I had to. I had already boxed myself into a corner and I couldn’t go back now.
“I slept with him.” I whispered.
Ryan didn’t say anything. He just looked at me with eyes full of rage. I could tell he was gritting his teeth and trying really hard not to show me how upset he was - and he had every right to be.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” I added, hoping the flames in his eyes would die down.
“You didn’t know. It’s okay.” He managed a small smile but I could tell it didn’t come from his heart.
I felt deeply sorry for the way the information made him feel. I had hurt him, that much was clear. He was still being sweet to me and that killed me even more.
Ryan rubbed his fingers through his hair and turned around before turning back to me again.
“Um... We should go and check on Trina. She should be freaking out by now.” He said, with eyes full of pain.
I didn’t argue.
I knew he would need time to deal with the issue and I wasn’t going to pressure him.
I just hoped he would come around soon because my heart craved him. My body needed him and I could barely function without him.