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Dusk

By JP Harvey All Rights Reserved ©

Mystery / Scifi

One

The smell was hard to describe. It was only slightly offensive though. A tinge of metallic mixed with a fruity, aromatic fragrance that was hard to isolate as the two weren't clearly meant to mix together and yet they were beyond doubt near each other. He wouldn't have cared so much about the smell really if it weren't' for the fact that it was the only thing clearly coming to him at the moment. Everything else was gone. His vision was clouded. His memory gone. He had no clue what his name was, where he was, nothing. Just this odor.
As he came to, he realized he must have been unconscious but perhaps not all that long. He was lying down on his side but clearly lying down on carpet. It was soft, but otherwise still indistinguishable. He began to notice painful sensations shooting down from his head. He tried to open his eyes and all he could see was a light blur that caused the shooting pains from his head to get more intense. He decided at this point to just keep his eyes shut. Outside of the pain, he really couldn't feel his surroundings. No other part of him was feeling any sensations. It dawned on him that he may be paralyzed as the only sensation he seemed to be able to process was numbness. And yet constantly pounding his nose like a battering ram at a castle door under siege, was this smell. This flowery, metallic smell.

He had no memory of who he was or what he was doing. Feeling a slight panic wash over him, he decided to work with what he did have. Flowery, sweet, just like roses in the Spring. Only that didn't feel right. It wasn't Spring. Was it? He strained again to remember and came up with nothing but clouds and fog. He was beginning to get frustrated. The flowers were mixed with other smells besides the metallic one. There were hints of oils. He wasn't sure why and began to think it's only the fact he has no other available senses that his sense of smell was so powerful to know the differences between the oils making up this smell. It wasn't really flowers he smelled that much was obvious because there was hints of sandalwood and cedar wood and what seemed like vanilla. Why would there be vanilla mixed in unless....unless it was perfume. Of course! Vanilla is often put in women's perfume as it's a pleasing smell to men. Why did he know this ? He now wondered more and more just what was going on and how he knew something like that. He began to try and remember things again and endure the pain that came with it. The smell continued to permeate his nostrils. Perfume he got, but what was this other smell. As his mind worked and the pain intensified, he noticed the numbness in his hand had turned to pins and needles. A good sign that feeling was returning.

Desperate for answers, he risked moving his hand around and feel for whatever he could seeking more clues. As expected, it was a painful endeavor but more information was slowly coming. He confirmed he was on the floor and that it was somewhat soft. Carpet. The smell began to fade just slightly as now his touch was blindly sending sensations to provide more context. As he gently grazed his hand across the floor, he touched on something new. A liquid. Cool to the touch, not warm. It was pooled together and soaked deep into the carpet. It was becoming gel-like as he rubbed it between his two fingers. He slowly brought his fingers to his nose as it was one of his clearest senses still working. He knew instantly what the metallic smell was. He also knew he was either in serious danger or serious trouble. The metallic smell he was getting separate from the perfume...was blood.

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Jasmine Chow: As I read this story, I was reminded some what of Terry Pratchett, especially some descriptions of politics and economics. The sci-fic setting is quite intriguing. Writing style is quite lovely and grew on me slowly. I was also slightly reminded of Mark Twain, especially his book A Connecticut Ya...

Aishwarya pillai: This is one story I have put my full interest intoBest novel ever!!! Without a doubt 😍😙😍😍❤💋

Ginger: I like the idea behind this; the idea and story itself are great, However, I'm finding typos periodically and some of the sentences could be worded a bit more clearly. You might want to 'show' a little more than you 'tell,'

Rita Kovács: It is a brilliant post-apocalyptic story, and there is a lot of work in it! Also, I'm really happy to see, it got published with all its seqences, because this story deserved it, it is wonderfully written, it's imaginative and original.

Maja1111: Nice, plot, great characters, lots of metaphors. Something really worth reading. Great!

Deleted User: I love your use of writer's craft and how you use figurative language to enhance your writing. It great how you didn't have any spelling or grammar issues.

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