The reason why I act the way I do is really very simple. But first, you must be a good listener. Secondly, what I tell you, you must accept as the facts, exactly as you are told. The third and most important, you must be caring. I will try to explain so you will understand; the best possible way will be from the beginning.
Listen and don’t say anything until I’m done. Do you understand? You do? Good! I hope you don’t mind, it is going to be a long explanation. Oh, so you already have a question? Well, go ahead and ask. Stop your stuttering and just ask your stupid question, will you! No wait! My frustration shows, dominating me at times. I do apologize for that sudden outburst. It would be best for you to just listen and this is my story. Close your eyes and join me as I take you on a journey you will never forget. Live it with me as if you were there.
Suddenly, it is happening, totally overbearing the evening. Now it is gone. Like a flicker of light from a candle being blown out. They are taking me away. I haven’t done anything wrong! Or so I thought. There is no one to help us escape. Questions started to arise in my head; but I have no answers. There was no reason for all this. No reason at all, but they came, and they keep coming by the thousands. No one can stop them. The takeover is happening all at once. I keep wondering if it all has been preplanned. No one could stop these “soldiers”. Soldiers from hell - that is a better description. I guess that is what they are. I do not know. All I know is that I can’t scream, no matter how hard I try. I just can’t. Is this some kind of horrible nightmare?
They thrash around and around us like we are some kind of savage beasts. Those animals! Oh! How I wish that I could do something to stop them and this madness! Darkness is all around. No more flickers of light can be seen, just masked faces, unafraid of anything. I ask myself, “Are they really humanoid or are they something else?” I wish I could see their faces to know my answer and then spit into their faces to show my hatred. Oh! How I hate them! I know not where I am, but I know it is as bleak as a sewage gutter. It’s a dingy, cramped hole I assume. I think I’m going to be sick because of the disgusting odors that surround me. I can hear screams from the others even though I have not seen any of them since the soldiers first came and took us.
I feel a needle or something with the same feeling going into my arm. I fade into nothingness. I awake in a beautifully well-lit room where I am strapped to a table. There in my arm a needle was stuck into my vein and the constant sound of the drip, drip, dripping could be heard. I didn’t know what was going into my system. It’s a mossy green, stagnant looking liquid from what I can see.
Then suddenly, the sound of the dripping stopped. All I can feel is the sensation that backbone is about to be broken. Am I dreaming or is this really happening? I wish they would stop. I open my eyes and the pain has stopped. I don’t know if it is day or night, or how long I have been here. It must have been months; months of sheer torture. I don’t know if I had confessed to anything or not. I haven’t done anything to deserve any of this! I am the living dead! I jerked suddenly and felt the extreme pain again. I lay still, controlling my movement. The pain has stopped.
I guess it’s been a few hours later and I’m in another dark room. I don’t know how I got here. But here I am, alone at last. I can hear the constant stomping of iron clad boots outside the door of my cell. I am very sore and oh so tired. But I know I cannot sleep; for if I do, I do not know what would happen to me.
They come into the room and drag me away. I do not know where we are going, but it is down a darkened hallway. We come to the end of the corridor and go into this dimly lit room. They toss me onto a cold metal table as if I were nothing more than a grotesque dog. The pounding of my heart echoes within me. I am afraid that the sound could be heard. I start to hear silent voices all around me and I wonder if they can hear them too. But how could this be? I start saying to myself over and over, ’I am one”. Maybe that’s what they want me to think. I start feeling strange all over during this torture session. I don’t know why I feel this way, but it is as though someone or something is entering my body.
I guess it was several hours later that I find myself in another well-lit room and the brightness hurts my eyes. I am unaware of my fate. I lay there very still. I feel the perspiration running down my back. I feel as though I have been working out at a gym or something. I hadn’t noticed that the temperature was extremely cool until I felt a sudden within me. I can’t complain about anything; for if I do, I might be beaten or worse. Oh! The agony of it all! Especially not knowing where I am or what has become of me.
Then suddenly someone called to me, “Hey 452, get over here now! We are going to room 333.” I know my fate at last. I have heard rumors about this room. They call it the ‘Room of Darkness’. That once you went in there, you don’t come back as you. You may look like you but that’s about it. First, they give you a number and then you become like them. I am becoming a non-person or a hubot (human robot). I’m losing my total self. I can’t lose my identity. I just can’t let them do this to me. Oh, won’t anyone help me. I need to escape this horrible place of bizarre and barbarian treatment but I know that’s impossible because it is heavily guarded. One false move and your fate is decided instantly for you. It will be a slow and painful process. I hope I live through this unfathomable hell. Even if I do live through this, I know that my life will never be the same again. What am I going to do? I am losing my identity and becoming just another number in this very strange new world.
They fling me into a dark, restrictive, rancid hole. I am safe for now from those horrid, repulsive creatures. At least, I’m free to think for a while. Oh, what am I to do? At least, they didn’t completely erase my identity. Maybe I can save what is left of my identity. I found a morsel of food on the floor and ate it. It tasted disgusting but I didn’t care. I am starving. I need more food but there isn’t any. My thoughts are suddenly shattered. They came and dragged me down a long, dark corridor and threw me onto a cold, metal table while a sudden chill runs down my spine. They strap my arms and legs down on the table and my head is placed in a vice-like device. All I can do is stare at the ceiling. There, spinning above my head with varying speed is a large, metallic, bright, shiny pointed object. It just keeps spinning and spinning, faster then slower, then faster as I become mesmerized by it. I feel as though I am entering another dimension - another world. It fascinates me with idle curiosity as I watch it. I seem to feel as though I’m floating through the air. My spirit is set free, but only for a moment. Then all hope ends as I hear the stomping of boots coming closer and I come back to reality. They come closer and closer. Maybe this is my chance to escape. I thought how can I when this place is so heavily guarded and I’m still strapped down on this table. I thought and thought until my head ached and my eyes felt as though they were going to pop out of my head to relieve the pressure that was building inside me. One strap came undone. Could this be magic? I wondered about that. Maybe I have extraordinary strength. How can that be since I haven’t eaten in such a long time? How did it happen and why? I wish I had some answers from questions that keep arising. Then, suddenly, I heard voices saying.
Paranoia will destroy ya,
We will be coming for ya,
They kept saying it over and over, again and again until I am saying it with them as though in a trance, becoming one with them.