I think the world has some kind of grudge and has it out for me.
I stood there, I almost wished I had gone with Cole instead. While honestly, I don’t think that would make it any better.
I wanted to do two things.
One, hit Dark very very hard. Maybe with a baseball bat. And two, run until my legs stop working and somehow maybe die from cardiac arrest.
I watch Dark, holding Macey’s hand, his eyes following her every movement attentively. I watched until I felt something wet on my cheeks. I look up, only to be met by the now clear dark skies with stars decorating them, void of clouds that could have brought rain. Like someone decided to dip a brush on white paint and glide their thumb through its bristles on a black piece of paper.
Because my wet cheeks weren’t from raindrops.
They were tears.
And look, I don’t regret much. I don’t like regretting things, so I forgive and move on quickly.
But I regret looking back at Dark, far, but not far enough that I couldn’t see him, with her. I regretted looking back to him, because the moment I laid my eyes on his figure, his hands were on her cheeks, kissing her the way... he should be kissing me...
Everything blurred at that moment. Emotions usually push me into being impulsive, but instead, I willed my feet to bring me to my room.
Then I cried myself to sleep.
When I woke up, my first instinct was to look at the clock.
It reads, 9:54 PM.
I had missed dinner, but I’m grateful that no one had bothered me in my slumber. I’m sure they had reserved my meal, anyways.
I sit up, rubbing my hands over my face then letting out a deep sigh.
I’m not a fan of confrontations. But I prefer them over dragging a weigh on my chest everywhere I go. So even though I probably looked like the undead, zombie, if you will— I literally dragged myself out of the bed and stood up.
I search for a face towel, entering the bathroom and wetting it, then wiping my face with it. My eyes were swollen, my cheeks were bright pink, but still, looking at my eyes from my reflection, I looked like death.
I looked lifeless.
I ignored this— shaking my head.
I don’t remember walking out of my room, but now, I’m standing outside his door. I feel like I’m out of myself.
I wish Asher was here.
No answer, so I knock again.
It’s not like you can hear over soundproof walls anyway, so I didn’t bother trying to hear from the inside.
I was about to step away, rush into my room again, but I watch the doorknob twist open, and come face to face with him.
I think he knows why I’m there, standing outside his door, still in my uniform but looking like death, and not inside his room, when I should have been there this whole time in the first place.
“What the hell was that?” Was the first thing that comes out of my mouth.
Before he even said a word, he pulls me inside his room and locks the door.
“What the fuck was that, Dark? I am so done with you making me feel like you love me one moment then the next, you’re out there with some other girl!” I lash out, flailing my arms aimlessly.
“I’m still supposed to look for a Queen.” He states. Just staring at me in front of him while I struggle to keep my shit together. I fiercely glare at him, “Look, if you can’t commit—”
"You look, Alexia,” he starts, “I’m not going to change just because of a woman,” he spat, I frown and open my mouth to say something when he glares back at me, ”and not because of you.”
"What the hell was all that, then? Huh? WHAT THE FUCK WAS ALL THAT?” I couldn’t help it, the tears started forming in my eyes, til my cheeks were wet again. I started hitting his chest, while I was a sobbing mess.
And I hated it.
I see something flicker in his eyes, as he looks down on me, hitting his chest continuously while the tears kept falling. I see a flicker of emotion underneath his cold stare, I hold on to it.
I could feel my heart breaking. But soon enough, he easily took a hold of both my arms.
“Look, this isn’t some kind of romantic movie where I sweep you off your fucking feet, Reine,” he spat.
“I know but—” he cuts me off, slamming my body against the wall and his body dangerously near me. He looks at me with his icy cold silver-blue eyes, I shiver as my heart began to thump against my chest loudly.
See, even when I’m hurting. It’s still beating for you.
“I don’t love,” he hisses and pulls his body away from me, he walks away saying something under his breath.
“I never love.”
Then he slammed the door behind him, leaving me in his room.
It’s been five days.
People were starting to notice this. That Dark and I were drifting apart; at night my chest would ache, and at the school hallways, the rumors has been spiraling.
“The Prince probably got tired of her already.”
“Serves her right.”
“I heard after they did it, he stopped talking to her. What a whore.”
“She didn’t even give the other girls a chance, it’s karma.”
I learned to ignore them. It wasn’t like there weren’t rumors going around every single day.
The past five days was torturous. I barely even get to see him. At dinner, he would be on dates with one of the Queen candidates. Of course, that wouldn’t include me.
Madame Dior hasn’t been pleased with this. Though I heard she has kicked Gwen Connor out and has her taken to some kind of juvie.
On the bright side, Asher came back today. The best part? Apparently, he was beyond keen to make it to the mansion and he ran straight to my room when he did, engulfing me into a really big hug.
I laugh, hugging him back tightly.
“Holy fuck, I missed you!” Was the first thing he told me.
“I missed you too, Asher,” I reply, pulling away with a smile.
“So where’s Dark?” He asks. I freeze, feeling like the air just left my lungs. He studies my reaction, looking at me carefully.
“I-I don’t know,” I answer him, shrugging to make it look casual. But it did nothing but only raise his suspicion even more, cocking an eyebrow.
“What happened?” He quickly asks.
I let out a heavy sigh, “I don’t really want to talk about it...”
He purses his lips, but nods in understanding. He pulls me in, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead, then pulls away.
“You go get ready then, I’ll see you later, princess.”
I smile at him, nodding. With this, he takes his leave, exiting my room.
Luckily, it’s already Friday. God knows I crave to just lay in bed for 24 hours and let myself be an emotional mess if I wanted to.
I dreaded school, nonetheless.
Whenever people see me, they start talking. They keep talking and they don’t stop.
But today, while I was walking to my locker, something happened, something that never happened before.
I feel the slight sting on my bottom as I turned around, and the hallway was silence. No, I wasn’t mad.
I was furious.
I can feel my expression turn to anger, so much anger, as I walk in front of a guy who was more or less about 5 inches taller than I am.
"Who in heaven’s name, gave you the fucking permission to do that?”
I couldn’t help it. My hands forming into a fist, itching to punch him.
“You’re a slut anyway, right?” He answers to me with a smirk. “Letting the Prince fuck you thinking he’d choose you because of that?” He adds, snickering.
I lost it there.
I punched him so hard that I heard a crack. Stepping on his foot, then kneeing him. He falls to the floor, groaning in pain. But the anger inside me has barely subsided, before I knew it, I was already kneeling down in front of it and I had already broken two of his fingers.
I stood up, muttering “asshole,” under my breath.
It wasn’t until I was walking on the way out of the school when everything came rushing back to me.
There were five knives in front of me.
Then there were five boards in front.
And there were five of us. Training. Self-defense.
“What a loser,” the boy beside me said, laughing at me. I look at his board, there were two knives on his bullseye.
I take another knife in my hand.
I aim for the board.
“You won’t hit it, you loser. You suck.”
But the knife I had in hand didn’t hit the board.
Instead, the knife hit the boy.
I stop dead in my tracks, I felt like I stopped breathing. Right in front of the gates.
I couldn’t breathe.
I did it again.
I did it again.
You didn’t even kill him.
But I hurt him.
I hurt him.
I hurt him.
My thoughts stopped when a hand covered my mouth, and I was getting pushed into a black SUV. The men’s faces inside the vehicle were covered with balaclavas. One of them got out as I struggled.
You can kick him, Alexia.
You can defend yourself.
You can get away from them.
You can even kill them.
The man covers my nose with a handkerchief.
"Yes, miss. We have her now,” were the last words I heard before I completely lost consciousness.