Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

Free copy left
You can read our best books
Colin Milroy would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

Dead On

By Colin Milroy All Rights Reserved ©

Thriller / Mystery

Dead On

“Do these look too trashy?” she asked.

“No,” he said without even glancing up from the sports section.

“You didn’t even look.  Tell me your honest opinion.”

I would rather be high on acid in Florida with someone eating my face off, he thought.

“Honey, your shoes look fine,” he said. “They look sexy.”

“I don’t want to look sexy,” she said. “It’s a funeral.”

“Well, Diana, you wanted my honest opinion.”

“I’m putting on flats,” Diana said with more than a hint of disgust.

“Okay, fine. Let’s go,” he said, grabbing his keys and his phone from the entryway table. They headed out the door.

“I’m hungry,” he said. “Let’s grab something from the drive thru on the way.”

She stared at him. “How can you think of food at a time like this? We're going to be late.”

He'll still be dead no matter when we get there, he thought.

He put on his most placating smile and said, “I'm hungry. I'll be quick.”

He never liked her brother anyway. No way he was seeing him buried on an empty stomach. He'd just polished off the double cheeseburger and fries as they pulled into the funeral home parking lot.

He gave himself a quick once-over in the rear view mirror.  This is it, he thought. It was time to put on the performance of his life.

“Honey,” he said, leaning across the seat, “I am really sorry about Dan. I didn’t mean to be insensitive. This has been hard for us and sometimes I just don’t know how to act.”

“Oh darling, I know that,” she said, big tears brimming in her big blue eyes. “You and Dan were getting to be such good friends. How could this have happened?  He was so young!”

“I guess the Lord works in mysterious ways,” he said.

"Oh shut up," she snapped. "You don’t believe in any if that stuff."

The first person they saw as they walked in was Dan's wife, Lori. She looked at Diana and said, “What the hell is he doing here?”

“Just paying our respects,” he said.

“You have some nerve coming here. How dare you!” Lori shouted through trembling lips. Diana put an arm on Lori's shoulder. They walked off together as Lori sobbed and snarled, “Murderer!”

He made his way through the long line to Dan's casket. No one ever looks good embalmed, he thought as he looked down on his former brother in-law. What a terrible last impression to leave your loved ones.

“Shame, isn’t it?” said a man behind him.

He turned.

“Hello, Detective O’Brien.” He hadn’t even noticed him in the line. “Anything new on Dan's death?”

“The trail’s cold,” O’Brien said, narrowing his eyes. “With Dan gone, that leaves his sister, your wife, as the sole heir to the family fortune. If something happened to her, something ‘accidental’ like what happened to her brother, would that leave you next in line?”

“We needn't worry about that. I’m sure nothing will happen to my wife. In fact, I’m going to go find her. Good day, detective.”

As we walked away from O’Brien, he smiled. The performance was over.

And he had killed.

Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Colin Milroy
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

Atractivo Sumit: The story is an amazing blend of what we call natural, plain romance along with subtle emotions and interesting twists. The plot is so beautifully interwoven.

Ashley Stryker: So I'm writing this review, keeping in mind that this is a work in progress and it's part of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), so my "deeper" critiques will be saved until it's all finished up.+ Chapter One: A stewardess would not talk to anyone quite like that, particularly a clear minor...

Tanya Daigle Rusheon: This book is a long and twisty tale full of sweet romance, adorable fluff, anxiousness, trust issues, mind games, things that don't make sense until suddenly they do, heartache and reconciliation just when you need it the most. If that all sounds a bit vague, it's because I really don't want to s...

Sarah_M_G: This story was truly gripping from start to finish. The way the author used Scottish dialect throughout the novel really helped to put you in he in the place where it was all happening. Every character was well described and thought out. How they all fitted together really worked and loved how t...

europeanlove: I gotta hand it to you. I love reading. I read books everyday. When the book is good I can read it in probably 13 hours. Your story was amazing. Great prose, very imaginative. Incredible dialogue. I am deeply impressed. Keep it up.

cicheah: Very well-knit story which sustains one's interest from beginning to end. Most enjoyable and a pleasure to read.

AJDay: Hello JaimePAvane,So, this is my first review on this site, and I am glad I found your story. I like where you are going with it and I am curious to see what future chapters look like. Firstly, your narrator; I love that she is describing not just her life but the world around her. Obviously a wo...

Alex Reltin: This is a great story! I love how well you go into detail and emotions of Capri, and Mel. You have amazing dialogue and overall it's just a thrill to read!The only critique I could find is that some of the paragraphs should be separated. For example:-"If Nia would have just let me take the car an...

Caitlin E. Jones: There is something genuinely sweet, child-like, and heartfelt about stories where books comes to life. For me, at the least, since one of my favorite books- "Inkheart" by Cornelia Funke, uses the concept lavishly. This piece brought back those same warm feelings, with its loyalty to the fairytale...

More Recommendations

Girl on Fire: Great story, line Alex!!!It really has a edge on it. It put me on edge with its thrill. Can't wait to read the rest.!!!

CornflowerBlues: I'm liking everything about this story so far: the brazen detective, the way he gave in to temptation, the temptation (<3!!), and the unexpectedly complex backdrop of his job and the case he's working. The story is well written, and despite its erotica tag, has an intriguing detective story and a...

missmary: This story sucked me in from the start and kept me reading when I should have been in bed. My only disappointment is how it ended. While I have nothing against Sherlock/John pairings- and this was well done- I kind've hoped it would come out a little different just for a change. Still, this was w...

This story wasn't for you ?
Look at our most viral stories!

FreakyPoet: "you made me laugh, made me cry, both are hard to do. I spent most of the night reading your story, captivated. This is why you get full stars from me. Thanks for the great story!"

The Cyneweard

Sara Joy Bailey: "Full of depth and life. The plot was thrilling. The author's style flows naturally and the reader can easily slip into the pages of the story. Very well done."

This story wasn't for you ?
Look at our most viral story!

Ro-Ange Olson: "Loved it and couldn't put it down. I really hope there is a sequel. Well written and the plot really moves forward."