Chapter 2: I Know Enough.
I walked through the street of Littleton with my hand stuffed in my jeans pocket and my head down. I don’t make eye contacts with anyone walking pass by me, although I could always feel eyes on me, never once I look back at them. Eye contact’s make me feel apprehensive – I don’t know why I feel this way, but I do. I get really uncomfortable when some make eye contact with me, so to make things less awkward – I don’t make eye contact with people until necessary. With my bag hanging on my shoulder and my head down, I quietly walked towards my school, which is just a few minutes away. I halted in front of the Ketring Park – this is my favorite place. Whenever I feel anxious or scared, I come here and spend some time in the open air. It always makes me feel better. No matter how much I wanted to go in, I didn’t want to arrive late at school. So, I sighed and kept walking till I reached my school.
I don’t have any friend in my school. I hardly ever talk to anyone – my lack of communication has made me a loner of the school. At first, some tried to befriend with me, but when they didn’t get the response they wanted, they started to call me a freak and awkward or weirdo. No one ever bothered to ask what happened to me or why I was so unsocial. No one bothered to ask if I was okay, they just presumed that I was a freak. I didn’t bother correcting them. What I think is weird, but bullying keeps my mind off my past. I have to worry about the bullies I have in school and that takes my mind off the ghosts of my dreadful past.
As I made my way through the packed hallway, I heard them whispering, I felt their gazes on me, I heard them laughing and some gladly ignored my existence. I didn’t dare to look up. I quietly took my books from the locker and made my way to the classroom. On my way to the classroom, I saw few of the students laughing and talking to each other. I almost felt envy. I wanted to live their life too. I wanted to feel normal as well. As I walked past them, my eyes met with a guy that I have seen in my class before. Eye contacts, they make knots in my stomach. I immediately averted my gaze from him and stride in the classroom, which was empty luckily. I sat on the last bench and waited for the class to begin.
Half of the day was gone like a flash, thankfully. It was time for lunch. I have been studying in the high school for the past three years and never even once I went to the cafeteria. The cafeteria has everything I don’t like – people, eye contacts, interaction. I always skip lunch and go out and sit on the soccer field or somewhere alone within the premises of the school. I walked to the soccer field to see that it was empty. I sighed and sat on the grass. I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I rested my chin on my knee and looked around in the empty field. It was pretty huge. The weather was nice today. I might stop by the park before returning back to home.
“Hey.” I almost jumped when I heard someone’s voice. It has been ages since someone tried to talk to me in school. I could already feel knots in my stomach. It always happens when I meet someone new. I got up on my feet and twirled around to see the same guy from the hallway this morning. I frowned as I saw him standing with his hands in his jeans pockets. I looked around to see if there was someone else he was talking to, but unfortunately, it was just me and him. I gulped and looked at him. He was smiling. “Hey, relax.” He said. Man, I couldn’t be alone with man except for my brother. I don’t trust them. There wasn’t anyone to save me if he tries to do something. I already started to feel anxious. I fisted my hands and tried to move away from him when he spoke again, “Hey, please I just wanted to talk. I am not a bad guy.” He spoke softly causing me to halt in my way. I looked at him and met his milky chocolate eyes. “Trust me.” He added.
I knitted my brows together, “How can I trust you when I don’t even know you.” I surprisingly replied.
He smirked, “So, you talk too? That’s good to know.” He commented. I was surprised as well. I never talk to anyone unless it is necessary. I happened for the first time when I didn’t even think before speaking. This was something really new for me. “I am Lucas and you are?” he stretched his hand for a handshake. I glanced at his hand and then looked back at him.
“I am nobody.” I replied and downcast my head before I walked away from him. This was the most I ever talked to anyone. Today, I really did surprise myself.
During the rest of the day at school, Lucas didn’t bother me. In fact, I didn’t even see him after the lunch break. For the rest of the day, I was ignored. When the school ended for the day, I took my biology book from the locker and put it in my bag before I walked out of the school. Just one more year and I will be done with it. I hanged my bag over my shoulder and walked towards my home. The weather was still very enjoyable, so, therefore, I decided to go to the park for a walk. I was really surprised by how I managed to talk to that guy in school. It was just exchange of few sentences, but it was really a huge thing for a girl like me – who can’t even look someone in the eyes.
The weather was misty, so there weren’t many people around in the park – just a few. Most people don’t like cloudy or rainy weather, but for me – rain is peaceful. I am so subdued that I really enjoy the storm. I like the pelting rain, I like when the sky growls – it feels like the sky is taking out its vexation. The heavy rain, rumbling of thunder and tremendous flashes make me feel like myself. Each day and night – I feel the same from the inside. I walked through the numerous trees, till I stopped in front of the lake. I stopped at the edge of the lake and stared back at my reflex on the water. I looked straight at myself and sighed. I was staring blankly when I felt someone’s presence around me. I didn’t look up immediately, but when I felt gaze burning my skin. I finally looked at the person that was staring me.
It was a girl. I frowned as she kept looking at me with a smile on her face. I don’t look at anyone for more than a second, but I couldn’t look away from her. She was beautiful. Her long wavy ginger red hair covered most of her back. Her amber eyes were like a silver lightning – full of spirit. She was tall – taller than me. A big smile stretched on her baby pink lips. I am sure most girls must envy her. She was truly gorgeous. “Hello.” She finally said.
I frowned and looked away. What was happening to me today? How am I able to look at someone for more than a second? And how is everyone interested in talking to me today? I don’t know if it is my lucky or a very unlucky day. I didn’t greet her back. I glanced at my reflex in the water before turning around and walking away. Why when I want to spend some time completely alone, someone comes up and talk to me? Why couldn’t they be like the other times when they all completely ignored my existence?
“Hey. The least you could do is return back the word of recognition.” The girl said and stepped beside me with her hand resting on her waist.
I gulped, “Hello.” I said and tried to walk away, but this girl, unlike Lucas, wasn’t ready to let me walk away. She followed me as I was hastily walking on the path to get out of the park.
“Why are you running away? I just want to be your friend.” She said as she walked hastily beside me. “Okay, stop. Stop. Stop.” She halted and made me stop as well by grabbing my arm. I shoved her hand away from me. I don’t like when someone touches me – it reminds me of the bad time. “Hey relax, I was just trying to be friendly.” She said. I didn’t look back at her and kept my head downcast. “I have been coming to this park for a week now and I see you here almost every day – sitting alone by yourself, but you didn’t come yesterday.” She continued. “Were you okay?” she asked.
This girl might be the only person that asked me if I was okay other than, Garrett, Ashley and my old therapist, Dr. Lockhart. Everyone doesn’t even take a second to judge me as a loner or weirdo, but they never ask if I was okay, they never bother to know if I was troubled. She is the first stranger that ever questioned me that. I looked at his amber eyes. I was feeling uncomfortable for looking at his eyes for more than a second, but I didn’t look away. I felt like I should be replying to her, so I just nodded my head.
“That’s great. I am new to Littleton, so this park is the only park I know of.” She shrugged. She chuckled, “I am Amber, by the way.” Just like Lucas, she stretched her hand out and I gazed at it. When I didn’t shake it, she sighed. “Okay, that was awkward.” She chuckled. “It’s okay, though. You can just tell me your name,” she asked and I gulped. I didn’t like it anymore, so I glanced and met her amber eyes before I ran. I ran out of the park. The lady that was entering the park with her dog looked at me uncannily as she saw me running out of the park, but I didn’t care. I had enough interaction with people today. I just wanted to go home and sleep.
I went straight to home after my interaction with the girl, Amber. I didn’t stop anywhere, I didn’t look at anyone. I just kept my head down and walked towards my home. When I reached, no was at home. I opened the door with the keys I had in my bag and went straight to my room. I took shower and changed clothes before I went in the kitchen. I was starving. I didn’t have breakfast today nor did I eat anything at school. I smile softly when I opened the fridge and saw a sandwich wrapped in foil. It had a small note stick over it. ’Since, you didn’t have breakfast this morning. I fixed you a sandwich. A’ the note said. It was so sweet of her. She always takes care of me and Garrett. I don’t think my brother can get a better girl than Ashley. After I ate the sandwich, I went back to my room and took a nap since I couldn’t sleep well last night.
I woke up to the sound of laughter. I frowned and rubbed my eyes. I still sleepy, but I decided to get up since I have homework to do and it would not be nice of me if I will not help Ashley for dinner. I glanced at the wall-clock to see it was six thirty in the evening. It was already dark outside. I rinsed my mouth before I walked downstairs to see Ashley and Garrett sitting on a couch while laughing about something.
I smiled, “What are you two laughing about?” I questioned causing both of them to twirl their head around.
“Oh look, sleeping beauty is up.” Garrett joked and rolled my eyes.
“Hey, come here Julia. Have a look. Garrett’s secret admirer has left him another note.” She waved the paper in her hand.
I sat beside her and took the note from her hand. “I should leave a note on our doorstep for her as well,” Garrett said to Ashley.
I chuckled and Ashley laughed, “And what will you write on it?” She asked.
Garrett shrugged, “That I am engaged.” He answered. Ashley laughed and replied her, but I didn’t listen to her. I read what was written on the letter. It was little hard to read since, the handwriting was really bad, but it was readable.
I hope you got my last letter. There is not a moment of the day when I don’t think about you. I fell in love with you when I first saw you. You must be thinking that I am such a stupid girl for loving someone I do not know. I might not know much, but I know enough. I know how you take care of your sister. How you have been protecting her, taking care of her and loving her has made me fall for you even more. I love family-oriented men. I really hope that one day I will be able to talk to you in person. One day, I will. Till then, take care and dream of your unknown admirer.
I frowned. She knows about me. Whoever this girl is – she has been stalking us. “Wait.” I said and interrupted Ashley from talking any further. They both looked at me, “So, she knew that Garrett has a sister, but she doesn’t know that he has a fiancé?” I asked.
Ashley pouted and shrugged, “Yeah, I thought that too. Maybe her stalking power isn’t as strong as she thinks or maybe she just ignored me on purpose.” Ashley replied.
Garrett released a long tiring breath, “I think someone is pranking us.” He said.
“Aww, don’t be like that. I am sure there is someone other than me who likes you too.” Ashley joked and kissed him on the lips. I chuckled and stood up from the couch and gave the letter back to Ashley. I feel really bad when these two act carefully around because they know how my affection bothers.
“I think I will cook dinner tonight,” I announced.
“Oh wow, that’s great,” Ashley commented. “Wait, let me come and help you.” She was about to stand up, but I stopped her and shook my head.
“No, you two stay put. I will cook – uh – let me think.” I thought before I spoke, “Pasta?” I asked them.
Ashley clapped her hands, “Yes.” While my brother little groaned, “Can’t we have something else other than pasta?” he complained and I rolled my eyes, “Sorry, but I am not taking any request tonight. If you don’t like pasta then, cook something for yourself.” I told him.
Ashley nodded, “Yes.” She agreed and winked at me jokingly. I laughed and Garrett simply rolled his eyes skywards.