“Woah. . .what happened to you?” Ceci got up from her bed, concern evident on her face.
“I. . . uh--”
“Get in quickly! Gosh, Sam! Why are you dripping from head to toe?!”
I sneezed. Oh great. Now I have a cold too.
Ceci gave me a disapproving glance and quickly threw a towel at me. “Wrap this around yourself. I’ll get you a dry set of clothes to change into in the meanwhile.”
I nodded and shivered as I took the towel and wrapped it around myself in an attempt to warm myself up. Ceci came only a few minutes later with a fresh pair of clothes. “Here you go. . .”
I shot her a quick, grateful smile and hurried to the bathroom. When I caught the sight of my face in the mirror, I could tell why Ceci was so shocked to see me like this. I basically and pretty much look like absolute sh*t. My hair was messy and my dried tears gave my face that tired glow which screamed out the fact that I had been crying.
I shook my head at myself, disappointed for running away. Why? Why again? It had become so very tiring and I was fed up. Hatred for my stupid instincts began filling up in me and I punched the wall beside me in rage. That move was instantly regretted when my head immediately started throbbing and turning into an ugly shade of pink and purple.
“Shoot,” I muttered in annoyance and pain as I run the water over my hand to wash the ache away. With a deep breath, I washed my face to freshen up and try to rid myself of the frustration building up in me. Frustration for nothing going right. Nothing going the way I want it to. And the more I thought about it, the more selfish I seemed.
Everything seemed to just revolve around me and it wasn’t supposed to be like that. Things were not just me and my stupid problems. People had other things to worry about. They couldn’t keep leaving everything behind to start caring about me as though I were a broken, senseless child. I was not a child anymore.
It was time I get that.
My mind kept telling me I was being a burden to everyone and I should just stop annoying them. Dad’s and Ceci’s worried look roamed around in my head and I shook my head to make them go away. And that was it.
I decided to not be a burden anymore. I was not going to share a thing with them anymore. I possibly couldn’t. Ceci had enough things on her plate as it was . . . I couldn’t be one of her concerns. I wouldn’t.
So, I wiped my tears and went out with a smile on my face.
“Hey. . . Are you alright now?”
“Yes,” I laughed and confirmed. “I’m definitely alright. Sorry, I couldn’t find a cab back home after the appointment and then had to walk all the way in the rain.”
“Are you sure. . ?”
“Yes! Don’t worry. Go to sleep. It’s been a long day. I’m off at least. So awfully tired after all that walking and running.”
“Sam. . . I still think--”
“Ceci. Trust me. I’m good,” I reassured. “Now I think I’m going to drop due to exhaustion if I don’t get sleep,” I joked. “You go sleep as well. We’re going to have to stay up late because of Business tomorrow anyway.”
“Yeah. . .you’re right,” she said as a yawn overcame her. “Goodnight,” she stated while turning the lights off.
I gulped as fear washed over me and goosebumps arose. I was being left alone with my thoughts again. I didn’t want to be left alone with them. But then again, it wasn’t really my choice. And besides, it was bound to happen sooner or later anyway.
I sighed and got out of bed to get my sleeping pills and try my luck. Once I washed them down with water, I shut my eyes once again and tried to force myself to sleep. A tear fell right from eye every time I thought about whether this was truly the way I had wanted to live for the rest of my life. I hurriedly wiped it off and took a deep breath.
You’re going to therapy for a reason, Sam. To get better.
And then I laughed internally at my own thoughts. Therapy. The place I had just so unethically run off from? That place?
I wasn’t too sure if it were the pills or my exhaustion. But that night, I finally fell asleep. It may have been only an hour or two of peace and serene but that was a wonder in itself.
However, every calm thought running through my head had completely been overcome by my panicked thoughts as I experienced probably the nightmare I was hoping would never repeat itself. The worst of the worst.
The terrifying, traumatizing torture.
The night that changed everything. . .
“I don’t even see him anymore. I’m going to pull his ears and twist them so painfully that he’ll forget his stupid friends and start hanging out with me instead. He can’t just not hang out with me anymore! Granted he deserves to live his own life, he can’t just push me away! Wait for me to find him, I’m going to--”
The chuckles of Gabby stopped me mid-sentence.
“What?” I irritatedly questioned her with a frown on my face. “Why are you laughing now?”
“Sometimes it’s just so adorable how you guys stick to each other!” she cheekily grinned and extended her hands to pull my cheeks. I slapped them away and glared at her.
Giving her a fake smile, I proceeded to take my stance. “Correction. I stick to my brother. He seems to have forgotten me!”
“Oh, come on, Sam. I saw him talk to you today!” she defended.
“Aren’t you my friend? Why are you defending him?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “And to make matters clear, he asked me whether I had any plans today. Can you believe it? Can you? That was just the worst question he could have ever asked today!”
She bit her lip worriedly as she acknowledged the fact that his question was indeed the worst move he could have made. “Okay. . .putting aside the fact that he clearly asked for his death today. What about yesterday when he spoke to you?”
“I was angry at how closed off he was being these days! He asked to take me home in the car, which mind you, we both got for our birthday and only he was using. And I told him that I wanted to walk home. He didn’t even turn back and think of walking back with me! Could he not sense that I was angry?! Is he that stupid?! I’m not going to spare him today. I swear to god, Gabby, don’t expect to see him alive tomorrow.”
She face-palmed. “He wouldn’t just leave the car to go ‘walk’ back home with you. Where would the car go and why would he walk in this scorching heat? You’re the only insane one here.”
“Well, he could have been nicer and insisted! But of course not. He just shrugged and left me there! Anyway, forget all that. How could he have missed that today was my match?! Our match, in fact, if he hadn’t decided to bail on us and go out with his so-called ‘friends’ for another one of his stupid hangouts! According to him, football’s my thing and he wants to live a little. Really?! So, let me get this straight, I’m not living right--”
“What does that boy think of himself?! And he’s never missed a single match of mine. I let that go! But not even remembering the big day of his football team’s match?! I’m not accepting--”
“Sam!” Gabby grabbed my hand to get my attention. “Okay, take a deep breath. It’s okay. Just give him the break he needs--”
“I did, Gabby. I did! I’ve ignored this for three months now, Gabby. Three months. Can you believe it? I gave him his space, ignored everything. But it’s all too much now. I just want my fun, loving twin back who puts me first,” I whined like an idiot. “Truth be told, Gabby, I’m so used to all that affection from him that it’s getting so hard to accept this new Sebastian. I don’t like it a bit.”
Another one of her laughs came through. “I know, Sam. I know. But you also need to know that it is now his separate life that matters too. I have an idea. Why don’t you have a talk to him today? Just clear up your misunderstandings. He still loves you just as much. Trust me. Just. . .have a talk to him, okay?”
I sighed. “Okay.”
“That’s a good girl,” she gave me a toothy smile. “Now let’s gear up for the game right now. We have more important things to focus on.”
“You’re right,” I sighed. “Let’s go.”
She held my hand in hers and dragged me to the football field. “I’ll be waiting in he crowds for you to absolutely demolish the other team right here on the bleachers. You go change and murder those vicious beasts in the meanwhile. Okay?”
I chuckled at her antics. “Good with me.”
“See you later, alligator!”
“Grow up!” I laughed along with her as I retreated back to the changing room to get ready. A feeling of emptiness washed over me as I realized that Seb wasn’t here to play with us or watch us.
I was only getting over that feeling when Coach ran up to the whole lot of the team with wide eyes. “This match is bigger than I thought. There’s an important person out here in the crowds. He’s looking to make one person’s future by accepting them into the college you all have been dreaming of. Today’s best player from the winning team will be accepted on scholarship. It doesn’t matter if the person is freshman or senior alright? Honestly, you guys. . .I have no doubts you’ll kill them. Make me and your parents proud today. Okay? Now team up!” He gestured to all of to place our hands on top of his.
When all of us piled our hands together, we threw them up in the air with our usual cheer. We were all officially hyped for the game and had the adrenaline rushing in our veins.
Needless to say, it was a quick and easy game. Sure, it took a lot of strategic moves and a point we almost lost the whole thing, but we had a tough team to break. Everyone was so perfect and swift that we ended the game with an absolute win.
We had outperformed ourselves. Each and every one of us giving it our all to make it possible for that one lucky person to get selected by the scout in the crowds. Our dedication and hard work seemed to pay off with our win and we couldn’t help but hold our heads high and feel proud. My parents had wanted to be back home for my game but my grandmother’s deteriorating health made them hurry off to their hometown and check up on her.
Unfortunately for me, even Seb didn’t seem remotely interested to see my big game. I’ll admit-- that was a big disappointment. But I suppose life doesn’t always go your way, does it? You just have to learn to appreciate the other things like throws you with and go on with it.
Maybe my words of unusual wisdom had come back to me because the next thing I knew, there was a pretty-official-looking scout coming right towards me. My heart fastened its pace and my throat closed up as I realized he had his eyes set on me and was coming to me. I was so shocked that I had no idea of where to move. . .where to go. . .I may have had one of my most dumbest moments right in front of him.
Way to go, Sam.
“Ms. Samantha Anderson?” he offered his hand to shake and I came back to my senses as I shook it firmly.
And well. . .that was the start to one of the most beautiful offers I’d every gotten. It was an offer, an opportunity, to join my dream university. There it was. The scholarship. Waiting for me to grab it.
And I said yes. I said yes because who says no to a golden ticket?
I might have cried right there if it weren’t for my friends who piled up on me to congratulate me. My coach smiled proudly at me and pulled me in for a hug as he started on how much he believed in me. And it was true. If it weren’t for him, I may not have even known how to properly play a game. He had been with me for the longest of times and I owed him and his trust just about everything.
I was so pumped up about everything that the first thing I did was excuse myself from the overwhelming crowd and head home to tell Seb about it. There was no guarantee he’d be home, but I had decided to give it a shot and share my over-the-top joy and happiness with he who deserves each moment of it.
Granted he was only a call away, I wanted to tell him about the great news in person. I had it all planned out. If, in the worst case, he wasn’t to be home, I’d just call him and tell him as I didn’t have the patience to wait for god-knows-how-long. The next call would be to my wonderful parents and then. . . it would most definitely be a call to celebrate at my empty place with pizzas probably.
The excitement seemed to be radiating off me as I held my breath and drove home, careful not to break the speed limit in midst of all the joy. I was obviously reeking of not only joy, but more realistically. . . sweat. After breaking the news to him, I would most definitely take a shower. Or nope. Parents come first, then we can take the shower.
When my house came, I quickly parked the car Seb left for me for almost the first time ever and went back to the car boot where I kept my kit. I was only assembling my kit and getting its contents together when I heard one of the most terrifying sounds of my life. And I wasn’t sure what it was. But I had a hunch. And it wasn’t a pleasant one.
For a second, time had gotten so still that I wasn’t aware of it ticking. My face paled and I stood still in my spot, seemingly lost with the question of what that explosive sound was. My heart rate sped up and my breaths got deeper as I tried to get the air my body seemed to be depriving me off again.
Worse even, it came from inside. Inside my house.
That seemed to click in my mind and I quickly left everything the way it was. I was just about to head inside when I saw a broad, hooded figure jumping off from the back of my house. Wasting no time, I ran behind me and tried to call him, my strides getting quicker as I started catching up on him.
“STOP! LISTEN! YOU! STOP RIGHT THERE OR I’LL CALL THE POLICE!” My words were dying out as they came out in a desperate plea and as though I was being choked. “HEY! YOU! STAY WHERE YOU ARE!”
That didn’t stop him. He ran faster than me and I seemed to be so far behind him yet again. And when he rounded of a corner and somehow tricked me and disappeared, I knew there was no catching him now.
I punched the wall beside me in frustration when it came to me. What about. . .that sound. . .the house. . .
Everything came into place and my eyes widened as I prayed to god that nothing was as I thought it was. I ran, faster than I’d ever done in my life to get back to my house. And I tried pushing myself even when my body didn’t support me anymore and my strides were wobbly and fatigued. It didn’t take too long and I managed to get myself in the house only a slow two minute after.
I pushed myself up the stairs, taking on two at a time as I rushed through my parents rooms to see whether everything was okay. When not a single thing looked out of the place, I felt only a little less than a fraction of relief set into place. Instead, I ran into my brother’s room to check up on him when I got the most terrifying shock of my life.
At first, I felt paralyzed, unable to move. Unable to think. And I just stared on in shock as I took in the deep red blood lining the floor as if it had been dragged. I felt like puking as everything seemed to register in my head. When my mind finally got out of the shock it was receiving, I shut my jaw shut as I shook my head in the fear of the thought running in my head.
Seb. . .
I rushed through the bathroom where he was lying on the floor. Covered in a pool of blood, he was struggling to get up as he placed a hand on his completely bload-soaked t-shirt.
“Oh my god. . . Seb!” I quickly rushed to his sight.
When he finally noticed I was here, he let it all out. And he just started crying. Without realizing it, my tears started dropping too. “Seb. . .what happened? Oh my god. I need to call someone. I need to get you help. I n-n-need to. . .” I quickly shot out of my place and grabbed his phone that was lying face-front on his bed with my shaky hands.
The emergency number. The emergency number.
That was all that was roaming in my head as I quickly dialed in 911 as quickly as possible and called in the paramedics. “Hello?! Hello?! Yes. I have an emergency situation here. . .p-please. . Please come help us. My brother has been s-shot. Please. . .Please come quick,” I rambled onto the phone quickly.
“Calm down, sweetie. Take a deep breath. We’re on our way. What is your address?” a woman’s calm voice came through the phone. I quickly relayed my address to her while simultaneously rushing to the first aid box in his room.
When they assured me they were coming and gave me a few tips on how to help him in the meanwhile, I quickly took the cotton from the first aid kit and sat down with the first aid kit near him.
Still unable to stop my evident panic and tears, I tried my best to calm him down and soothe him. “This is going to hurt a bit, okay? Seb. . .just. . .just stay with me okay?”
He looked at me and after a moment of hesitancy, he nodded his head, giving me permission to to apply pressure near his soft tissue. I was so unsure of what I was doing, but decided to give it a shot. I softly pressed on it and tried my best recalling the lady’s words and advice on how to do it correctly.
He screamed loudly as agony took over him. My cries increased tenfold as I tried to block my tears out, knowing I couldn’t take the pain away from him. Just thinking about the fact that I was causing him this pain was shaking me to the core. So I decided to do the next best thing I could. Distract him for as long as possible.
“Did that guy come in? What did he want? Why did he shoot you?”
“Sam. . . Can you just listen to me for one second? I need to get this out,” he somehow spoke. At the rate of his blood loss, there is no way he’ll be awake for more until the paramedics are here.
“Seb. Actually, you can tell me this later. Right now, I need you to rest. Save as much of energy as you can. You c-can’t talk! You need to rest. As soon as you they get you in their care and with professional help, you can talk as much as you want. Actually, once you’re okay. . .I’m going to kill you! What is going on?! But for now. . . for now. Just stay awake. Okay? Stay here with me.”
“No. I don’t know if I’ll make it this time, Sam. . .I need to tell you this,” he firmly spoke as his eyes started drooping.
Knowing very well that I needed to keep him awake in any way possible, I nodded my head frantically and shook his head that was now resting on my lap to shake him from his state.
He took my hand in his other hand that was not over his bleeding stomach and enclosed it around mine. I could only give him a light wrap as I stared at him with one of the most helpless feelings in the world. There he was yet again, so near. . . yet so far away.
I wasn’t ready. He couldn’t go.
“I’m sorry,” he cried.
“No, no--” I started, stopping him and crying along.
“No, I am sorry. I love you so much, Sam. I hate that this is happening. . .”
“Shh. . .” I soothed, “it’s okay. You’ll be fine. I’ll make sure of it.”
“No, Sam. Listen to me. I should have told you this sooner--”
“I don’t need an explanation, Seb. I just want you to be okay.”
“I know. I know you do. Which is why you deserve this. Sam, I got involved in the wrong kind of group. They wanted me to sell drugs. I didn’t want to do that. I couldn’t betray your trust like that. So they drugged me. They put something in my water. And now they have proof. They have proof that I was somehow involved. I wasn’t, Sam. I really, really wasn’t. I’ve just been trying to get out of this, Sam. But they keep blackmailing me. I feel so t-trapped Sam. I don’t know what to do.”
There was a minute for when I stopped still upon hearing his words. But I knew I had to come face it all. Seb had so much going on for him and I was worried about him attending my stupid football game. For a moment, I felt ashamed of myself before I asked him, my soft words dripping with guilt. “Why didn’t you come to me sooner, Seb?” I whispered as I held him close to me.
He shook his head with a longing smile. “I wanted to. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t get you involved too, Sam. That would have been a stupid move. And I’ve done enough stupid moves to last for a long time. I was afraid I’d somehow manage to screw everything up and tell you. It’s why I tried to stay away from you a bit. I didn’t--”
“Seb, but now you have a bullet in your stomach and I don’t know how to stop it! You should have come to me! Mom, dad, anyone. . .just. . .I can’t see you like this, Seb. . .” my lips quivered.
“Hey, hey. . . it’s okay. First of all, wipe your tears dry. I don’t like it when those monstrous things come on your face. You look ugly enough that is,” he tried lightening up the situation as his voice continued to have the same amount of agony and suffering in it.
I gave him a small smile in the middle of my heavy crying, but didn’t bother wiping them. There really was no point.
“I want you to promise me something,” he tried sitting up.
“Stop moving! Stay still, Seb! And okay! Okay! Anything. I promise. Just stop trying to move! You’ll make the wound worse!”
“You won’t go after them.”
I had been tending his wound yet again in the wait for the paramedics to arrive and it had now been the billionth time I was stopping something due to the shock I was receiving. “What do you mean, Seb? We need to get them! They can’t get away after doing something like this to you! I’m going to either kill them myself or make sure they rot behind bars!”
“No, you’re not going to do any. If. . if anything happens to me, I want you away from them. And you will not mention a word about anything such as this shot. I will not allow that to happen.”
“No, no. . .I can’t promise tha--”
“You already did, Sam. If I don’t make it, I don’t want to die knowing I didn’t leave you safe. Please. Please just stay away from them.”
“Seb. . . I can’t. . .”
“Please,” he begged as another tear dripped from the corner of his eye in desperation.
I quickly wiped that tear away from his eye. “Don’t cry. And like I said, nothing will happen to you. I can promise you that.”
“If nothing will happen, you shouldn’t mind promising for this as well, should you?”
He caught me there and sealed my mouth shut. A whimper made its way from my mouth. “Seb. . .don’t do this. . .”
“Sam, the promise.”
“I promise,” I said. Nothing will happen to him, anyway Sam. Relax. Stop panicking.
“I love you, Sam,” he gave me a kiss on the back of my hand as he coughed, his body and demeanor visibly getting weaker. Where were the paramedics already?!
“I love you too, Seb. I love you so much. But you promised me. You promised me you’d share everything with me. You should have told me. We could have prevented this. We could have--”
“We could have what, Sam? There isn’t much in our hands. I wasn’t going to drag you in this mess. Besides, promises are meant to be broken, Sam. I did what I knew must be done.”
“I’m going to break the promise you asked from me as well.”
“No,” he firmly denied. “If not a promise, consider it my last wish if I don’t make it.”
Sobs wrecked through my body as he brought down every decision harder on me. His hand enclosed mine. “You know, Sam. I don’t think I’ve mentioned how extremely sorry I am--”
“Stop saying that. It’s okay, Seb. You didn’t do anything. I’m proud of you if anything. I’ll find a way to get you out of this once you’re fine and kicking and--”
“I looked at the mirror before this. Looked at myself in the mirror. You may have forgiven me, but I don’t forgive myself, Sam. There was only shame in my eyes for what I knew I had done to you, mom and dad. All I could see staring back at me was a horrible person who was the cause of his twin’s tears and I couldn’t own up to myself for that.” My thoughts rolled back to the bloody tracks on the floors of his room and just in that instant all the contents in my stomach seemed to be coming up.
I felt pukish just imagining him do that.
“Stop, Seb. It happens to the best of us. I just want you to know. . .that you didn’t do anything wrong. Sure you strayed off the right path and you knocked on the wrong door, but you also came back to the right one again. You don’t have to feel all that. Because this sister of yours won’t leave your side. She will twist your ears if she has to, but she will make sure you will never feel lonely again. Also, I don’t think she’s told you this enough. She loves you a lot. She really, really does.”
His eyes started closing as his breathing became slower and his face relaxed into a small, content smile upon hearing my words. “I love you all too,” he repeated yet again, including mom and dad this time.
And that was when after ages, the paramedics finally burst in the room. They pushed me behind as one of the people started attending him. They gave him shocks as my brother lay unconscious now. I was trying to peek in behind their shoulders just to get a glimpse of whether he was going to be okay or not, but not one let me see.
I tried going up to him once again to hold his again to support him, but i was pushed back again. Everything seemed so chaotic. My stupid tears wouldn’t stop rolling down my cheeks and his screams at one point couldn’t be taken anymore by me. I was pretty sure that if I saw any more blood after this, I would actually puke.
And it felt like the seconds were stretched and the minutes were dragged as they continued to operate on him. And all I wanted was to see him.
But it seemed like he didn’t want to.
Because the next thing I knew, the paramedics were shaking their heads at each other as they all finally stepped down.
I held the dresser behind me for support as my knees came crashing down and I tried to accept it all but refused to. Instead, I scrambled upon my legs and pushed everyone aside and held his limp hand. “He’s okay! God damn it! Why did you guys stop?! Take him to the hospital or do something! DO SOMETHING!”
“Ma’am, ma’am. . .please understand. He’s not--”
“No! You understand! He’s there! He’s lost a lot of blood! Of course, he’s unconscious! Please. . . just help him please. Please. . ” I pleaded with them as I tried shaking Seb back awake. “He was there in front of me, standing and completely fine this morning. He was talking to me two minutes ago. You can’t just. . .he can’t just. . !”
“Ma’am, I understand your pain,” a person tried to console me. “But he really isn’t--”
“Don’t you dare say a word ahead. I promised him. I promised him I wouldn’t let anything happen!” I cried as I clutched onto his hand even tighter.
The lady looked down at me with sorrow in her eyes before she started pulling me away knowing I couldn’t be controlled anymore. “No! NO! WHERE ARE YOU TAKING HIM?! HE CAN’T LEAVE ME! I WON’T LET HIM! LET ME GO!” I cried and struggled against the arms of two ladies who were trying to calm me down as I broke down in front of them.
And the other people started placing Seb in those stretchers and taking him off. All the while, I didn’t let his hand go and instead held him tighter and tighter until my hands turned an absolute pale shade of white. “Please ma’am, you have to let him go now.”
I shook my head vigorously and cried louder, almost as though I was a little baby who couldn’t let go what was theirs.
I couldn’t let go. I couldn’t see my everything go away from me. I couldn’t let him do that. But it happened.
And eventually, his hand slipped away from mine. . .
‘Promises are meant to be broken, Sam.’
I only proved his words right for I failed him again.
WHEW! AND THAT WAS A LONG ONE! AND EMOTIONAL ONE. (Shhhh...I cried. BUT HEY! They’re my characters! Emotional attachment, you see?) And now I’m exhausted. Not to mention, this chapter is 5500 words long! My longest chapter yet! And it’s almost twice the size of normal chapters!
This was sad :(
I love my Sebbie.
This is not the end of him. You’ll see less of him no doubt. But he mayyyyy come back. Again mayy. At this point, I don’t even know.
I hope you found this chapter up to your expectations. I’ve had no time to look over it so bear with me XD Also, do tell me how you felt about this absolutely teary chapter. I’d love to know what you all are feeling.
It’s been a tiring two months but I’M BACK GUYS :) We are on 425K. Thank you :))))) *double chin overload*
SEE YOU LATER PEOPLE!
Lots of love forever and always!