After walking into his room, he shut the door behind him before loosening up his tie and sitting on the bed. He picked up a wine glass from the nightstand and poured a drink for himself. As he brought the glass to his lips to take a sip, his eyes were staring into the distance and his mind was elsewhere. Wandering around. Going back to that place was a mistake, unintentionally or not. Never had he let his past take over him. He loathed it. His hand was gripping the glass tightly. His jaw moved back and forth in rage.
With one swift movement, he pulled his hand up in the air and threw the glass on the floor with full force. The glass lied shattered on the floor, but his eyes did not move from it’s stable position. His breathing was not steady because of his anger. He stood up from his seat and walked towards his walk-in closet; he moved a pile of his clothes aside and searched for something in the empty space. His eyes roamed in there for a while until they landed on the wooden box. He stared at it for a few seconds before picking it up and placing it on a table. He opened the lid of the box, revealing a silver chain with a locket. His eyes peered at the chain as the memories came rushing towards him.
He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth; he did not want to lose himself, so he slowly closed the lid and placed the box where it was before. Turning around, he saw August standing near the door and staring at her feet. He arched his eyebrows, she knew he hated when she did not look at him in his eyes, yet she always had this nerve to repeat this mistake. He cleared his throat, clearly letting her know he noticed her. She looked up and her eyes immediately met his. Lucifer tried hard to not pin her against the wall and kiss her lucious lips. He controlled himself but it was hard for him to maintain his resolve when he was near her. Every time he looked into her green eyes, it was tough to not stare at them all day.
“What are you doing here, August?” He asked in his unsual calm voice. That shocked August, she looked at him mildly hiding the surprised look she had on her face. She did not want to come in his room, but when Ela and other maids heard something break inside Lucifer’s room, she made August go and clean whatever mess Lucifer had caused. She couldn’t refuse her, although she wanted to. So there she was standing in his room, hoping to not leave in shame.
“I-I...E-Ela sent m-me...We he-heard something break here.” She stammered glazing at her right where the broken glass was lying down.
Lucifer hummed and responded. “I broke the glass.” He said it plainly. August waited few seconds for him to explain more; but Lucifer instead just stared at her without saying anything. She nodded her head and walked to clean the shattered glass. She picked the shards carefully so she does not touch their sharp edges but she also wanted to finish quickly. She wanted to get out of his room as soon as she could. She felt him staring at her, swallowing her fear, she continued with what she was doing and put the pieces inside the small bucket she brought with herself. August picked up a small wet rag and rubbed it on the floor, cleaning off the wine stain. She rubbed the rag on the floor ’til it was shining once again. But that was not her motive; She wanted to distract herself from the intense glaze of Lucifer. She was feeling anxious. All of a sudden, she stopped rubbing the floor and took a deep breath. She pulled herself back and kept sitting on the floor on her knees; her eyes were closed.
I need to calm down. I need to calm down.
She chanted in her mind. Two minutes passed and she was still sitting on the floor. Lucifer’s eyes did not leave her once. He saw that she was struggling to control herself. As much as he wanted to go and hold her, did not want to stop the joy he got from seeing her fear. She was afraid of him. His mere presence scared her. It petrified her. He walked to her, bent down and touched her shoulder.
She shuddered at his touch. It was gentle but it scared her. It scared her because she loathed his touch. His touch had hurt her more than she had ever been hurt. It scared her because she knew how every one of his touch ended. It scared her because how gentle it felt that time. She did not turn around, did not move a muscle, did not make a sound. She just let out a small hiss at when he gently squeezed her shoulders and helped her stand up. She did not understand. Why could she not move? She tried to move her legs, but she did not have enough strength to do that. Her eyes darted to her hands that were pale and soaking in sweat. She let out a shaky breath along a low whimper. She wanted to move her legs and run away from there!
What is happening to me?! Why can’t I move? I want to go away from here.
Her breathing became fast and heavy; She was sat on the bed. Lucifer had no experience with women in an affectionate way. Without thinking, he pulled her small frame to him and held her tight, holding the back of her head and pressing it onto his chest. His one hand was wrapped around her waist and other hand was on her head, caressing her. Her body felt warm against his, he could almost feel her breathing on his chest. And once again he felt it. He felt it deeply.
My eyes were closed. I felt my breathing slowly going back to normal. I felt someone’s strong arm around my body, and my head pressed on something hard. I did not know where I was or who was holding me, but it felt good. It felt like I was finally somewhere peaceful. I slowly opened my eyes; black dots were blocking my visions but it soon disappeared within a few seconds. I could see my surroundings.
I could feel someone’s hands tightly wrapped around me, their breaths on my hair. My eyes went wide in realisation and I quickly pull myself off of him and crawled away as far as possible. I looked at him with my terrified eyes. He was touching me again!
How could I be so stupid and let him come close to me?
I was angry at myself. If I had not lost consciousness, I wouldn’t have to be in his arms. His eyes were glued to mine. He did not say anything. Surprisingly he did not get mad; he just kept staring at me. His stare... his eyes... they were completely different than how I saw them most of the time. His hands did not touch me this time. Instead he fisted his hands like he was trying hard not to touch me. To say I was relieved would be such an understatement statement. I was more than that. But, it did not mean that I was still not scared. I wanted to get out of there, but I was too scared to move a muscle. I gripped the bedsheets with both my hands, not knowing they were beneath me. I had no clue I was on his bed and he did not get mad about it. He did not mind me sitting on his bed.
“Don’t be scared.” He said after what felt like ages. How could he expect me to not be scared when he was the one terrifying me like nobody else. His presence was enough for that. I whimpered and crawled away from him again until my back hit the bedpost. I got even more scared. Scared of what may happen next.
“I said don’t be scared, August.” He said again, this time with a little colder tone. It did not help me at all; instead scared me even more. I was struggling again. I looked away from him and glanced out the window. It had a perfect view of the outside and especially that of the sky. I stared outside, desperate to forget where I was, who I was with. But it was impossible. He sensed my fear and discomfort, but it was obvious that he did not care.
“I’m not going to hurt you.” He whispered to me.
His words shocked me. Since the first time I have entered in this house he had done nothing but hurt me both physically and emotionally. How could he say that? How could I believe him?
“Pl-please I want to go.” I said. My voice cracked, I held back the sobs that could find their way out of me at any moment.
“Why?” He asked. His hand was now touching my face. He sligtly moved his finger on the side of my forehead, his fingers touched my dark blocks and he tucked a few strands of my hair behind my ear. He kept his hands on the back of my neck and his thumbs caressing my cheek. His soft touch stunned me. What did he want from me?
His body moved close to mine, invading the space between us; his hands were still on my neck. I jerked up and pushed him away, suddenly got the strength to stand up and walk away from him.
He did not protest. He did not stand up to stop me. I took that as a chance to pick up the bucket and the rag, and to run out of there. I ran until I reached a small room where all the necessities are stored. I put the rag there and threw the shattered pieces of glass in the basket. Then I ran back to the kitchen and washed my hands. I rested my body on the kitchen counter, placing both of my hands on it. Millions of thoughts were going through my mind.
Why was he gentle with me? I did not understand. It did shock me, but I was glad he did not force me like he had done in the past. It seemed like the more I tried to stay away from him, the more fate bound my path with his.
I did not see him for three weeks. This was nothing new, he spent most of his time traveling and being in his office. I heard he had been visiting his father’s house for few days. Well, I can not say it did not make me happy. But, something was bugging me in these few weeks. My last encounter with him. The last time I saw him. Somehow that encounter had confused me. However, I tried my best to not think about that.
We were doing all the usual works, thanksgiving was close so we needed to clean the entire house one week before thanksgiving. Alexa informed me that maids over there do get a day off during holidays. I talked to them and asked where they would be going. Most of them said they are going to their families, but Yuna had planned to visit her boyfriend. I smiled at her when she was telling me about her long lasting relationship with Jonathan. She told me many things about them; I find them really cute. I mean, who doesn’t want a cute relationship? Yuna and Jonathan were definitely a cute couple.
It was my turn to clean the library. I walked towards the door and got inside. It was quiet as usual, the woman who was in charge of the library was not there. The library was empty. A grin came across my face. Finally I could explore that place as much as I wanted to. With that I started to clean.
After thirty minutes, I cleaned the shelves and arranged the books that was assigned to me. I alone could not clean the whole library, so I did whatever I could. How I wish I could read one of the books there.. But, I had no time to do that. I looked to my right and master’s personal desk caught my attention. I was not allowed to clean that. I didn’t know why. But, curiosity overcame me, I walked to the desk and observed it. It had a mixed colour of brown and yellow; it was made of wood. Almost half of the things in that house was made of wood. It had three drawers joined to it. I grabbed the handle of one drawer and pulled it. It did not open.
It had a lock on it and the key was not there. I tried the second one. it opened but it was empty. It had nothing in there. Only the third drawer was left, I was having an inner battle with myself, should I open it or not?
My hand reached out to the handle and pulled it open. It was not locked either. The drawer was filled with files and documents and that book. The strange book that Alexa told me not to touch. But why? I knew that it was master’s, but what did it have in it that nobody could even touch it? I picked up the book and placed it on the desk, carefully opening it. The pages were not scattered anymore. They were tied to the book cover. It meant that someone had this book before.
I opened the first page.
12th March 2008.