What could a girl ask more than to sit by the seashore and enjoy the sunset on a lazy Sunday? Well, this is my heaven. I feel free when I come closer to the sea and the sun. I find a sense of peace and calmness here. My body relaxes in the cool salty breeze at dawn. I can escape for a few hours from the dreadful life I lead.
A sigh escapes my lips as I brush away stray hairs from my face. My gaze fixed on the distance as thoughts dance in my mind. I think about my life, my dull, lifeless life. Wow! Lifeless life. Can it sound any lamer? Well, working as a waitress, dealing with the college, and taking care of a blind mother is surely handful. But even then, I manage to cherish my life a little when I get a chance. I believe, if I don’t live for myself then I can’t live for others. And, enjoying the sunset is surely my kind of living life.
Dawn is breaking. I need to get up. I have a job to do. So, I push myself up from my comfortable position and breath in. It’s time. With a small smile tugged at my lips I walk by the shore. I move hairs from my face as these untamable curls block my view. I walk for maybe five minutes or so when I see something or rather someone in the distance.
There is a man standing alone on this lonesome beach, talking on the phone. His back is facing me as I walk toward him. He is tall, 6 feet 2, has dark curly hair. He has a lean and muscled body which is hiding under the baby blue shirt and dark jeans. I see his movement as I casually stand behind him. My face twitches into a smirk.
When he’s done talking on the phone, I wrap an arm around his abdomen. He gasps at the sudden contact. Before he turns around I quickly snake another arm around his chest. And, he gasps again. But this time it sounds almost like a sharp intake of breath. I don’t blame him though.
His mouth remains open, eyes wide in shock. I can see his struggle to breathe as red liquid stains his shirt. A line forms there, starting from his chest till the end of the fabric. I smile victoriously as I let him go. He somehow manages to turn around while stumbling in the process.
I stand calmly as I watch his eyes getting wider, hands clutching the handle of the knife dearly. His brows furrow as he tries to speak. I tilt my head to the side, capturing his handsome old features for the last time. How one can look like a damn 30 while being 47 is beyond me!
“Leah...” He whispers, shock marring his voice.
I smiled softly at the mention of my name from his trembling lips. My smile gets even wider when his body collapses on the ground. Ah, finally! I’ve been waiting so long for this to happen. But seeing him kneel before me makes me feel some strange kind of emotion. Something like... Sympathy?
No! Not now! I need to stand on my ground. I take a deep breath before concentrating back to him. His one hand is supporting his balance while the other one tries to pull out the knife. Seeing his pitiful situation, I decide to help him a bit. I’m not that bad, after all. I bend down to his level and reach him to touch the handle. He cries and screams as I keep pulling out the knife in an agonizingly slow pace. My innocent ears take pleasure hearing his pained voice.
Once I fully take out the knife, blood oozes out from the open gash. He bends down even more, now, taking the support of his elbows. If I didn’t know better I’d think, he was bowing down before me in pure respect. Who am I kidding? Who bows down before his killer? Silly me!
I smile at the thought as I witness him getting weaker and weaker with each passing second, though, not that he isn’t always a weakling. Wow! Look at the audacity of this man! He glares at me. Looks like he’s going to eat me alive. No way, old man!
But those ocean blue eyes... Whenever I look at them, I feel my blood boil. They are too painful to look at, too much. I can’t help but remember those memories, those awful, painful memories that make me want to let my guard down and cry till my eyes can’t take anymore.
No! What am I thinking? I will never give him that pleasure. I jerk off from my thoughts as I shakily take a breath. But it seems like I’m losing my cool as each moment of the past flashes before my eyes. I notice his eyes getting narrow, I must be looking at him with pure, unfiltered rage then.
When my last bit of patience slips off, I can’t take it anymore. I launch at him with everything in me. I don’t care if anyone can see us like that now. I don’t want to know what will happen if cops come here and arrest me for killing him. I don’t fucking care!
Fury consumes my mind as I raise my knife in the air. The sharp tip is waiting, hungry to taste the skin. With full force, I firmly push the knife in his chest, though, this time I’m going deeper. I laugh as more blood comes out of his chest. My eyes hungrily take in the sight as he gurgles blood. My body gets energized from this as I take out the knife once again and strike him.
Once again, the knife pierced the skin. Once again, the cry of agony fills the air. Once again, I have found my peace. Once again, his weak body crashes down on the sand. And, once again, I repeat the process. I don’t know for how long I’m doing this. I don’t even realize when he stops his struggle. When I do, I see his ocean blue eyes staring in the distance, eyes that ironically reflects mine. I also notice the bloody mess around me.
I am literally sitting on his lap with a bloody knife in my hand. Anyone who will see me, call me a psycho killer. Hell! I feel like one. The way I smoothly killed him with my bare hands really takes a messed up mind and lots of skill. Well, I won’t deny it. This is my job, well, my side job. I get paid for it. But I won’t lie either that today I didn’t get emotional with him. How could I not? He was the reason I'm here today like this. He was responsible for my mother’s condition. He ruined our lives till we were nothing but just the shell of our past selves.
I take a deep breath when I feel my heartbeat getting steady. I stand up and step aside to take a look at the dead body. I don’t know how long I was staring at the dead man. It was starting to get evening. Seagulls are flying away in the distance, returning to their home, to their family. They live a peaceful life, don’t they? Flying free in the sky with no worries. There’s no one to shackle them, other than the hunters, of course. They don’t fear the boundaries.
They don’t have to get abused on a daily basis. There’s no one to slap them, punish them on every step of the way. No one to fork their eyes. No one to say ‘You’re a worthless piece of shit’. No one to make them feel low. No one to drain their innocent souls, making them feel like some lifeless robots. No one... Damn! Get a grip, woman! Seagulls are birds and they don’t face such humanly problems. What has gotten into me? I chuckle lightly at my stupidity.
Wait, what is this? Tears? Me? I blink a few times hoping for the endless stream of water to stop. But no! My body has to get stubborn at a time like this. Why was I crying? Why do I feel this sudden pain in my heart? For who? I don’t understand. Well... Maybe I do. Uh, nope, I don’t. I... I don’t know. I don’t want to know why I am crying. I don’t want to feel anything. Nothing!
I furiously wipe away the tears. The air is getting chilly. I need to hurry up. Mother’s waiting for me. I try to keep my face straight, ignoring the wetness on my cheeks. I stride toward the water and with one swift motion I throw away the knife. There, I have done it. Instantly, I feel lighter. Like a burden has left my shoulder. A soft smile creeps up in my face. Though, in my heart, I can still feel the pain. But I am good, and I know I will be better. I have to be, at least, for my mother.
I turn around to leave the spot when I feel my phone vibrate. I smile wider knowing who’d be calling me. I don’t know why, but this call always makes me feel better. I really must be a goofy doll as this person likes to say. I quickly pull out the phone and receive the call of my partner in crime.
“Hey, Chris. So, what’s my next Sunday treat?”
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