Chapter 12: False Understanding
I guided my father up to the fourth floor and stuck him in an interrogation room and locked the door. Aaron joined me.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“He tried to attack Rebecca again. In the process, I could have been killed because he came out of nowhere in his car if I hadn’t stopped we could have been dead. If we can’t charge him for endangerment or something the law needs to be changed. I was hoping to prove to him I’m Haley but I don’t know if there’s a point. If he attacked Rebecca cause he thinks I changed my gender because of her then obviously he believes I’m Haley he just doesn’t understand that this is who I am and it’s not a choice,” I answer.
“Well, we can hold him for forty-eight hours so if we’re going to charge him we have to find evidence. Unless he confesses your evidence is all circumstantial, there’s no physical evidence. Rebecca could come in for tests and testify,” he replied.
“She said she didn’t want to press charges for my sake,” I comment.
“I don’t know, Dean. I honestly want to help you but I don’t know if there’s anything I can do. We can’t kick him out of the country. We technically have no witnesses to Rebecca’s attack and she won’t provide us with evidence that he actually did it,” Aaron confesses.
“I know. It’s not your fault. Life just sucks sometimes,” I curse.
My father takes a pen and a pad of paper from his pocket.
“What’s he doing?” I ask.
“Writing, I think,” Aaron guesses and steps closer to the window to get a better view.
“Why didn’t you pat him down?” Aaron asks.
“Rebecca didn’t have any cuts so I assumed he didn’t have any physically harmful weapons. And that’s just a pen and it’s not like he’s stabbing a window and trying to get out or one of us,” I explain.
“Why don’t I try to dig up some dirt on him? You should go visit your brother and get some sleep. Make sure Trev hasn’t died from lack of sleep as well, too,” he jokes.
“I can try it doesn’t mean I will sleep,” I reply.
I leave and ride the elevator down to the lobby. I walk out and down to my car. God the last few days had been long. I was beginning to wonder if it would ever end.
I started the car and a song came on that fit the mood.
“Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I’d just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I’d end up happy
I would pray
Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I’d pray, I could breakaway
I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly
I’ll do what it takes till I touch the sky
Make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won’t forget all the ones that I love
I’ll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway,” sang the song for the next few minutes.
I was pretty sure it was one of Kelly Clarkson’s older songs. It had been featured on Glee. Growing up they were kind of like my family. Even though the transgender people weren’t cast till much later they understood my issues and were accepting. Which was more than I could say for the people of Bristol.
I put the car into drive, I was going back to the graveyard. To see Elise again.
The drive was lonely. Too bad Luke wasn’t in good enough health to be discharged from the hospital, yet.
I’d like to take him to Elise’s grave. Maybe I wasn’t the only one who could hear her ghost. It would have been nice, would have made me feel less crazy.
As usual when I returned. Every decoration of flowers was overturned and smashed. Annoying teenagers, who had no respect for the dead.
I started resetting all the flowers so they were at least leaning against the graves and started to collect the glass so little children visiting their grandparents wouldn’t hurt themselves.
“I can’t help you unless he goes to sleep, Dean,” I hear Elise whisper.
“I don’t think it will help. Elise, he thinks it’s a disease and that it can be cured.
He doesn’t understand that this is ‘who’ I am. He thinks others caused this to happen and that if I stop hearing the voices I’ll go back to being his daughter. It’s not going to happen though,” I exclaim.
She’s silent. She honestly doesn’t have an answer or argument there.
The graveyard had been trashed. Glass was everywhere. Like a glass bomb had gone off well nobody was around. It didn’t do any damage aside from the little cuts on my own hands which I bandaged up with the first aid kit in my car.
“The world is a cruel place, Dean. It misunderstands people, choice and who they are. It also helps you learn and become stronger,” at this point I think she was just talking so I knew I wasn’t alone. And that she was here for me, Luke and Trev.
As far as I was concerned Elise was the only person who knew the whole story.
Every word, part, piece, and fragment. Both the good and the bad, the sad and happy. They only knew so much. If only they could experience the last decade of my life, but they never would cause that was still impossible and probably wouldn’t be possible for another hundred years. Life sucks.
That was random thought. The last part anyway. I had never thought that as a kid. I just thought I had to find the place I belonged. Everybody has to do that, whether it be with your friends or your family or your lover. Everyone has a place where they are accepted no matter what.
I left the graveyard around seven and return to the hospital.
Trev had finally fallen asleep in a chair holding Luke’s limp hand. They were cute.
My mother must have gone to find a hotel or worse case my father.
I watched them silently.
What if you left again?
Asked a little voice in the back of my head. I shook it away. That was the worse thing I could do right now. Running wasn’t the answer this time. I had to face my ‘fears’ and ‘problems’.
Luke and Trev needed me and my support.
Too bad issues couldn’t just disappear when you wanted them to.
I looked out over the town of Florence from Luke’s hospital room window. It’s getting dark.
I felt conflicted about Aaron trying to find something to hold my father on, I didn’t want to stick him in jail but I didn’t want him beating up Rebecca and Trev every time he saw them either because he believed they were responsible for making us who we are.