Why Did I Disappear?

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Chapter 1: New Case With My Face

It was a normal day, I got called into work saying we had a case as usual so I didn’t think anything of it but when I got to the conference room and saw the decade-old picture of the female version of me and the aged by decade machine made image of what I would have probably looked like if I hadn’t taken male hormones and got a sex change and cut my hair off.

I starred at it for a long time, disturbed and concerned.

I didn’t want to go back to that life or be reminded of it but I didn’t have a valid reason to go work on another case so I had to live with it.

Nobody else had arrived yet, as always I was early. I sat down and sighed.

“You okay?” Trev asked entering the conference room.

Trev was gay and younger than me. It was unusual for anyone under the age of thirty-five to work for the FBI, mainly cause you needed experience. Trev was twenty-seven, he knew who he was and everybody knew about him. I guess I kind of envied him. For being open, mainly.

“Yeah, just tired,” I replied.

He had gotten into the FBI probably because he had graduated early and was done all his schooling before his twenty-second birthday. Two years experience as an officer and two as a Lieutenant or whatever the leader of a police force is called because depending on where you’re from or work it may be different.

“That’s a lie,” Patrick commented entering the room.

Patrick was a mentalist and known for his unique reading people abilities.

I rolled my eyes annoyed and then looked back up at the old picture of me on the screen. I hated that image for a number of reasons.

1. For even existing, why hadn’t god just made me a boy? It would have been so much easier for everybody. None of this would have happened.

2. For making it remember the old me. I didn’t want anything to do with my family or my old life because I knew they wouldn’t accept me. Or at least my parents wouldn’t.

3. There was no way this case was going to be solved. Not if I had anything to do with it. What was the point of working on a case that was going to stay cold?

Soon the rest of the team that I worked with arrived and we got down to the details of ‘Haley Campbell’s’ disappearance.

“A decade ago on May 28th, 2006, twenty-year-old Haley Campbell disappeared from her parents’ house in Bristol, England. We assume she was lured out of the house before her disappearance because there were no signs of a struggle inside the Campbell’s house,” explained Aaron Flint, the leader of our unit.

I just sat there completely ignoring the talk the others were having and just staring at the picture of the old me and imagining all the ways I could destroy it.

Maybe I should have chosen a line of work where I couldn’t run into my old life again.

“Dean?” Trev called waving his hand in front of my face trying to break my day-dreaming spell. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

The rest of the team looked at me.

I was the person who nobody knew anything about but their name. When the team went out for the occasional drinks, I was the one making up excuses for why I couldn’t go because I was afraid my old life would come up or I’d get drunk and say things that I’d regret.

“I’m fine, honestly. Thanks for your concern,” I reassure them.

If I was going to work on this case and not have people suspect something I was going to have to act like everything was okay. That was the worst part, being alone, through all of it.

Running away, choosing a new name and place and starting a new life. I didn’t have anyone I could talk to, have understand, consult and accept me.

I tried to settle down and add my opinion on my own disappearance without making it seem like I knew more than I was saying.

All I had wanted was peace and even a million miles away, I couldn’t get that.

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