8.0 9. 2018.
Living in a small town always had its benefits. You knew everyone just like they knew you. And in my case, they knew my parents, and not me. Nobody knew me, but I knew everyone. Let’s say that I was a shadow living in this fucked up place. A broken girl who enjoyed following people around.
It was my favorite past-time. There was nothing better than watching my neighbors behind my window. It was funny how they never saw me, but I always saw them. I knew when they would wake up, went to work, what they did and what they would eat. They were like my little experiments.
But every experiment needs a couple of lab rats to start the experiment, and in the town that I lived in, there were hundreds of lab rats. Just these rats weren’t running around on four legs, they were walking on two feet. They smelled like shit and acted as they ruled the town. When in reality all of them were liars. And Mr. Adrian Smith was no exception.
He was a rat that I currently enjoyed playing with.
Mr. Adrian Smith always woke up when his alarm went on at 4:35 a.m. Not a minute later not a minute earlier than that. The first thing he did was going to the bathroom where he would spend the next 32 minutes and 21 seconds jerking himself on the toilet seat because he didn’t have sex with his wife Joan for the last three years. I get it why though. He could never please her with that size between his pants.
After he was finished with his relief, he washed his body with Crew classic, his all-time favorite shampoo. When he went out of the bathroom, he saw that that the clock was already 15 minutes to six, and that he needed to get ready.
Joan was still asleep as he got ready. She always woke up after him because she couldn’t stand his fucking face. I always thought that love never faded when you are married, but those two showed that everything I believed about marriage was a big lie. There is no happiness in a marriage. There is only pain and hatred. That’s why Adrian enjoyed having his black coffee alone in the morning. He drank it while reading yesterday’s newspapers.
After enjoying the coffee, he would place the cup in the dishwasher before grabbing his suitcase and went to work in his 2002 e class Mercedez Benz, where he would spend the next 8 hours, 17 minutes and 32 seconds. It was like that every day. Everything he did started and ended like every other day.
But even a man like him who worked so hard to please his boss and the biggest judge - his wife - has to have some free time for himself, doesn’t he?
So after those long, exhausting hours, he would pick up a blond whore, and she would fuck the brains out of him for thirty minutes in the forest before he would finally climax in her pussy. The sex wasn’t the best. It was the opposite. But what can you expect from a 50 dollar fuck? Nothing good, right? Some bad cock sucking and STDs. But who am I to judge his decisions? I’m just a shadow in this town. No one would care about my opinion.
But I still didn’t understand why Joan didn’t leave him. Maybe she was just as fucked up like him? Or maybe she just didn’t care. I guess I will have to let Hella, my doll, to find out. She will watch them from her dollhouse that I made her years ago.
I have to admit, she and her dollhouse weren’t in the best shape. Her face was fucked up. Her left green eye was missing. And her once long brown hair was now short - a few pieces of hair still standing on her hair. Her beautiful full lips were drawn in one big red smile. Although she was in a fucked up shape, she was still beautiful to me.
She was my doll. My only friend that I could trust. I always played with her, especially between 3 p.m. and 5 p.m. before I went to visit doctor Boseman, my psychotherapist. Doctor Boseman and I would always talk from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. and today was no different.
Now walking through her dark hallway, I watched how Hana Petrovich - the sheriff’s daughter - was going out from doctor Boseman’s office. She looked angelic. Her face was pale, her green eyes poping under the light brown hair, and her lips were curved into a small smile.
I’ve never understood why people were so fond of her and her family. Yes, she was a perfect daughter, and her family had a life that everyone imagined. Perfect without any flaws. But the reality was, everything they showed to others was a big fat lie. Her smiles were fake just like her family was. They were all liars.
It’s funny how much I knew about her and her family, but she never knew anything about me. She didn’t even say hi to me when I walked past her. I was a no one to her like everyone else who walked past her.
Opening the door to doctor Boseman’s office, I walked into the room, seeing doctor Boseman already waiting for me.
I smiled at her. “Hello, doctor Boseman.”
She smiled back. “Hello, Monica. Come sit.” She pointed to the orange couch.
I did what she told me and sat on the couch, waiting for our session to start.
She placed a glass of water and three pills - two blue and one white - on the table in front of me.
The usual dose, I thought.
“Let’s start on how was your day?” she asked.
I shrugged, looking everything around me. “It was okay.”
“No episodes today?”
I shook my head. “No, but I could still have them.”
She wrote something down on her piece of paper. “What did you do today? Anything you want to share?”
“I didn’t do anything special,” I answered.
“What about Mr. Smith? Anything new about him?” she smiled a little.
“Nothing new. It’s like his life goes around the same fucking rutin,” I sighed.
“How does that make you feel?”
I glanced at her, stared at her for a second before finally answering, “Depressed.”
“So you are depressed today?”
“I’m always depressed. I’m just good at hiding at it.”
“How can you be sure that you can hide it?”
My eyes went to the painting on the wall. She always hanged my paintings on the wall. It was my way to say thank you for everything.
“Just like I’m sure you will hang my next masterpiece,” I said, making her smile.
“You sure are a great painter.” she took a glass of water and drank two large sips.
“Thank you,” I said back.
“Are you going to the party too?” she asked.
“Of course. I can’t miss that.” I tapped my knee with my fingers. It was a habit that I couldn’t get rid of. It was stuck with me for as long as I remember.
“Hana told me she is going to the party too. Are you going together?” As soon as she mentioned her name, I stopped tapping my knee. My hand went to the couch and I squeezed it as hard as I could.
“No,” I whispered, “We still don’t talk to each other.”
“Haven’t you apologized?”
I glared at her. “I’m not the one who needs to apologize.”
Doctor Boseman stood up, walked to me, and sat next to me, picking up the glass and the three pills.
“Now drink this.” I took the glass and the pills from her hand. I put the pills into my mouth, drinking a couple of sips until the pills didn’t slide down my throat.
“Open your mouth.” she grabbed my chin.
I opened my mouth for her to see that I drank all the pills.
“You are such a good girl.” she cupped my face, smiling at me.
Yes, I’m a good girl doctor Boseman.”