Mother is under five feet tall this is a immense damage to her reputation as a beauty even as a pretty woman. She has table manners and she is over weight. She is past the age when she saw fifty. Always with an apron sometimes so dirty that she says it is hardly worthy of me. And she does not do anything but think about food and her family. Her self interests are the same as everyone’s.
But how does one feed oneself and one own desires when the best movies are the one’s she starred in? Like Sister George and things like that made her think she not rubbish but somehow important? Wicked women her favorite educational tool to my siblings. When she said deny her gravy and tell no tales she did mean it. When mother walks into the room she knows exactly where everything is otherwise she does not move.
Mother was this woman with nice eyes and she had a good thin long face but her body was fat. She had a certain appeal. She is a stone which causes enchantment. She can charm snakes from their lair with her small talk and she is not rude to anybody not even me. Nice manners she said always was what she did and was used to dealing with had won her much money and friendships which were highly useful to her.
When impassioned her eyes turn green from black and they change constantly she has hands all round the bottoms she cannot help herself.
One can’t be too careful because working in the kitchen meant the narrowness of the kitchen and herself being fatter than expected; we knocked into each other constantly. Sexual harassment I thought she just needed a friend because dad was always rude to her. Of course dad said she was always this victim or the bride and she not shop soiled at all. And he would sometimes throw things at her. Once breaking her tooth because I had ducked to avoid the metal dish. The thing was a bit strange but so was the world. In the shop this happened so constantly but that was the most nasty one. She went to the dentist the dentist fixed the tooth then she said not worth bothering about and all the money dad spent on the tooth went.
Somehow the rich had landed on us and made comforts within the family abode. We lived from high pitched excitements to being told we were sod all nothing and nobody’s which we took in good part. After all we were making money and having fun at the same time that is what mother said. I did not realise what she meant by that but my sisters who lived within the confines of the house did. That was Z and B. But one had died. For we were nothing to no one did not enjoy a social style and made no more about this earthly thing called education and all that goes with it. There was nobody to fund us to give us time to grow and then we took from each other because we did not give we had no adult relationship because mother did not grow up. She was still a child herself. No she was not an idiot she was sometimes brilliant but what she did not have was emotional maturity which is what it was. I do not know the medical term for it. I do not know if there is one. But it seemed she did not even think she a child but reacted as if she was the same age as us.
I sometimes thought she would in wilful deed give away what we possessed and go outside to live. Out of that door make a life for us and herself in some place called out. She hated her husband so much sometimes for being her husband that she would have drowned him if she could she would say.
Then it became sweetness and delight.