I have been visitor to their house for a number of summers and they were ideally suited to my needs. The fiend my mother said who should be contained. Myself had been shelved as had plenty of offers but did not land a husband. I was an embarrassment they told me so often in little ways and then what did it mean to be the ray of sunshine who was nothing now? They made this nasty snide remark and remarkably rammed it to me every time if she had married things would have been different less difficult.
The thing is we are culturally different said mother to me and being an ignorant woman had plenty of thoughts which were madness. Being a woman meant being weak and always needy as mother said it is the right attitude to be always in the feeding stage. So, having this argument I went to feed on a summer holiday.
Bearing down the plane they said I would have made a good flight attendant but mum said I would make a better Gardner doing the whole garden in one sitting or flinging my spade into everything.
“I had been in some depression desperate to think straight but the thing was had nothing no money and had been a washed-out writer.”
This is my summer holiday the only time I am alone. I think positive and there is not much to say. I am grabbing attention mother said. I am this and that the other being the beast within me.
What is right in all this?
When a family who had depended intellectually to one man when the brain goes what happens? I think there was nothing in their attitude to speak about the coming disaster. What they said not us not our dad.
But the feeling was there the old man seemed odder than usual his leer more pronounced. Nothing the matter with him only he is losing his sight and still driving. Well what? Hung in there who is driving the car?
I am sorry to say this but he never drove the car his insurance would never allow it. But I was in the car.
So, the concerns and things which meant so much to us back in England where the health service is more available with info.
“My uncle has the rage.”
It is him angry with the whole family as if he has been spent.
What is he angry about?
He is lost his toes.
“Due to diabetes.”
“What else should we know?”
“I am sorry.”
“We love you and we know you we know you best.”
“Tried to behave and did not quite manage it.”
“Day light robbery.”