Hi, I’m Veronica, I’m 15 years old, I’m in the tenth grade, and I’ve been bullied since the fourth grade. It’s only gotten worse over the years. People call me freak, annoying, ugly, stupid, etc. I’ve been called it all. But, some of the worsts are, “go kill yourself.”
I was called that by my ex-best friend. Her name is Tia. She started bullying me in the seventh grade. She got in the wrong crowd and started tormenting me. She would call me names, but when she’s really mad, she’ll beat me. Her new friends will push me around or trip me, but they mainly just call me names.
I don’t understand. What did I do wrong? Why does Tia hate me? Was I not good enough? But, I’m not mad. I’m actually glad. Tia taught me a lesson to never let anyone in. She hurt me. That means other people will too.
My family said to make some friends when I was little. But now, they barely say a word to me. They shut me out. They ignore me. I told my parents about the bullying at school and they just shrugged their shoulders! They didn’t even say anything. My own family doesn’t care about me.
No one does. I don’t talk much because of the way people treat me. I bottle everything up. Every emotion. Every hurt.
My alarm went off at 5:50 A.M. I lay there for ten minutes before I eventually get up. I went into the bathroom and got ready for school.
After I was done, I went to my room and got dressed. I put on burgundy Adidas sweatshirt, blue jeans, and black and white Adidas, and went downstairs.
I saw my parents, but they don’t feel like parents to me. They feel like two strangers living in this house.
I grabbed a granola bar and headed outside to walk to school. It’s a 10-minute walk to school. As I walked to school, I thought about the past. How close Tia and I used to be. I missed our friendship. Why does she hate me? I hope we become friends again, but I doubt that we ever will.
I saw the school building and sighed, then walked into the building.
“What’s up, V?” I heard a familiar voice say from behind me. Then, I heard footsteps. I knew it was Tia and her friends. They are three of them. I don’t really know their names.
“Look who showed up today,” Tia said. “Nobody even wants you here! So, you should just leave! No one is even gonna notice or care,” she said. Her friend high fived her. “I don’t even know why you were friends with this girl!” She said.
“Same,” Tia replied. Her friends laughed.
“You worthless freak!” One of her friends called me.
“Cute outfit, V. But, you’re still ugly,” Tia said looking me up and down with a look of disgust on her face.
“Like you?” I said.
“What?” Tia asked crossing her arms.
“You’re pretty, but you’re just so... fake! A fake friend, fake eyelashes, fake nails. Just fake!” I said. Then, Tia slapped me. She pushed me to the floor, got on top of me, and punching me.
“Hey!” I heard a male voice say. “Get off of her!” He said trying to pull Tia off of me. He eventually did. I stood up.
“What is wrong with you?!” He asked Tia.
“She called me fake,” she answered.
“Well, you are!” He said. She raised her eyebrows.
“Just get outta here,” he said pushing her. He turned toward me.
“Are you okay?” He asked me.
“Yeah,” I answered. “No, I’ll never be okay! Tia hates me!” I thought to myself.
“You sure?” he asked.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” I said.
“That’s good. What’s your name?” He asked.
“Caleb.” Then, the bell rang.
I walked to Math class.
The class was the same old stuff. The teacher teaches and I don’t say a word. I write in my notebook. I mainly write poems about how I feel. If people were to read this, they would see a world that isn’t so bright.
My next classes are science, ELA, History, and P.E. Then, I have lunch. Lunch is the time where I can think and write. I sit alone, but I honestly hate that! I just want someone to come sit with me or invite me over to their table. But, I know that’s never gonna happen. I feel so invisible and unwanted.
Skip to lunch
My classes were the same old. Tia and her friends are in my classes, but they don’t bother me. They act like good people in their classes, but they’re cruel to other people outside of class. It’s not just me they torment, it’s everyone.
P.E. was boring, to me anyway. We played volleyball. I barely participated.
I went to my locker, got my notebook, walked to the lunchroom.
In the lunchroom
I sat alone like always. I opened my notebook and started writing my new poem. It’s called “My house.” Then, I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I turned around. It was Caleb.
He smiled. “Hey,” he said.
“Hi,” I replied.
“How you been?” He asked me.
“I’m good,” I lied. “Why are you even talking to me? I will never be okay,” I thought to myself.
“Why did Tia beat you?” He asked me. “I wish I knew. She left me a long time ago. I miss her so much,” I thought to myself holding back tears at the thought of her leaving me.
“I don’t know,” I shrugged my shoulders.
“I hope you’re okay,” he said. “I’m never okay,” I thought to myself.
“Glad you are.” I nodded my head. I saw Tia and her friends. I immediately looked down.
“Are you okay?” Caleb asked, then he looked over his shoulder.
“Oh, crap!” he said. “Does he hate them, too?” I asked myself.
“Hey, Caleb,” they all said simultaneously.
“Hey!” he said smiling which I could tell was fake. Just like my smiles. Fake.
“Why are you talking to this girl?” Tia asked looking at me with a look of disgust on her face.
“I can talk to anyone I want to, Tia!” he said with annoyance in his voice.
“Well, she will leave you eventually,” she said. “You left me!” I thought to myself.
“I doubt that,” Caleb said crossing his arms.
“Okay, when you’re done with that, why don’t you hang out with us?” she suggested.
“Yeah.” Tia walked away. I sighed. What did mean that I would leave her? Is this all in my head? Is she the one who’s really hurt? Or are we both hurting? What if we both miss each other? Could our friendship really be fixed?
“Veronica?” Caleb said, pulling me out of my thoughts. I looked up at him.
“You okay?”he asked. I nodded my head as an answer.
“Okay.” Then, the bell rang. Lunch is over.
“Oh, bye Caleb,” I said.
I went to my locker, grabbed my bag and notebook, and walked out of the building and started walking home.
I walked in the door and went upstairs. I threw my bag on the ground and laid on the bed. I thought about today.
Caleb is nice, but I can’t let him in. I’ll get hurt again. I just really hope I can become friends with Tia again. I doubt it, though.
But, I also have a secret. No one know about this secret. It’s dangerous, too. It can kill people.
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