Enormous emotions buried deep inside,
Yet the emptiness intact in eyes.
I can’t help but just wonder,
When did a rainy cloud turned into a thunder.
Wanting to say a zillion things,
Still end up saying nothing.
Awaiting to be in somebody’s assuring arms,
Providing nothing much just warmth.
Trying hard to ignore pain and hurt,
Yet eyes play their tear stunt.
I really want to get back to my old self,
But I fear getting back stabbed again.
(-By A. M. S.)
I folded the piece of paper on which I wrote it and hided it in my clothes.This poems are the only sane things which help me from going insane.I just don’t know why people around me hate me so much?Right from a child I was hated by own father.my mother left me as soon as I came into this world.I was treated like a trash or should I say I am treated like a trash.I don’t even know how my mother looked?I don’t even have a photograph of her.How pathetic of me!Dad would always look up at me with hate.
The only person who loved and supported me truly is my bestie Akshata.How much I am missing her!I so want to meet her.I just want to break down in her arms and doze off by resting my head in her lap.I remember how much happy was I back then while running from my home!I had planned my life.I would have been pursing my studies.I sighed.My freedom was snatched brutally.I never thought of marriage and love cause I was afraid of it from childhood I had seen my father beating hell out of some women which he used to bring home randomly.I have also seen how my bestie’s father used to treat her mother like a trash.What an irony!I too am facing the same faith.But still I never give him the satisfaction of ordering me round.Even if it results me in a life taking beating session.
Daksh!My husband!He is no less than a demon.He is a devil incarnated.The way he removes his anger and frustation on me is just pathetic and not to forget the lustful gazes.He is nothing but a pure sadist.But I respect my MIL.Maybe she hates me but atleast she is the only protector here to save me from her devil son.I can never forget that incident which changed my prospective towards her.
Flashback 2 weeks 5 days ago:
I had just completed all the chores like cooking,washing,cleaning,etc and was heading towards our room sorry ‘HIS’ room precisely.Daksh had went out on a business party today and I can’t be more than happy cause whenever he is on a party he doesn’t comes home at night.Well,I know whoring around,what else!You all must be thinking that I should be unhappy,right?Hmm,in some part of my heart I do feel betrayed.Its because he is the one who forcefully married me not the other way round but when I remember all those beatings which I have to endure every night I feel that it’s better than this. Besides its not like I love him.Girls out there who want him; I would like to tell,he is all yours I don’t want him I am better off single.Uhh..where was I?Yes,there is pure hatred but still he should at least respect this wedlock that’s all I expected.But, who am I to say this?
I was busy making my bed that’s when Daksh entered the room. He started taking predatory steps towards me. His eyes were bloodshot. There wasn’t an ounce of emotions in it. They were blank.I just stood rooted at my place. Once he was a feet away from me, he snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. My hands automatically rested on his chest to create some distance between us. He was now smelling of different perfumes,especially lady’s perfume.I felt disgusted to be around him.
“Hii” He said coming closer to my face.He smelt of alcohol.
“Are you drunk? “I asked.
" Pretty,yes. But I have a work for you. “He slurred. I looked at him in confusion.
" Bother to become a one night stand for tonight?“he asked almost hugging me and whispered near my left ear.
“Why,those sluts weren’t enough for you? “I retorted.
" Hmm they were but still they aren’t you. “He said like he was missing me like hell. Stupid hypocrite.
" Sorry to enlighten but I am. Not. One. Of. Your. Sluts. “I said emphasizing each and every word.
“Who said you are? You are my Jaan, aren’t you? ” He asked a rhetorical question.
“You are so sick Daksh.” I spatted at him and started wriggling in his arms to free myself.
“I think I need to make u remember the rules. “He said freezing me for a moment. He then scooped me up in his arms and started moving towards the bed.I was horrified.
He threw me on the bed and was about to climb on top of me that’s when I grabbed the vase on the nightstand and threw it towards him. It hit his right hand and he groaned in pain.I quickly ran from the bed and was going to step out of the room that’s when he grabbed me from behind and fisted my hairs and started dragging me towards the bed.
I tried hitting on his hands but in vain. He then pulled my face upwards and was about to kiss me that’s when I slapped him hard across his left cheek. His grip got loosen around my hairs and I picked it as a opportunity to run a away from there. I ran out all the time crying miserably that’s when I bumped into someone.
I looked up to find my MIL. I was already shaking with fear. As soon as she saw my state her eyes softened.
" Please... Please... help.... forcing... help... Daksh.. “I said between my hiccups. She cupped my right cheek and asked,
" What happened? I didn’t understand. Come again. “That’s when we heard Daksh shouting,
" Jaan, where are you? Don’t run away from your wifely duties.I hate to wait. See once.. “That’s when he saw us.
" Uh..you are here. Mom you didn’t sleep yet. “He said narrowing his eyebrows.
" What’s happening Daksh? “His mom asked him ignoring his earlier statement.
" Nothing just husband wife matter. You go and sleep. Don’t worry I will handle her. “He said.
She sighed and was about to move that’s when I grabbed her hand and shook my head as a no and said, ” He will rape me... Please.. sa.. sa.. save..me.“No sooner those words left my mouth she shot a horrified the to him.
“What’s this Daksh, is it true? ” She asked as if mentally praying its false.
“I am not raping her mom, it’s just I am telling her to satisfy her duties towards me. What’s wrong in it then? ” He said shrugging.
She walked over to him from my side and looked at him for some seconds and then suddenly slapped him very hard across the cheek.
“What’s wrong? You ask me Daksh what’s wrong? What’s wrong in raping a girl? You ask me this. ” She said shooting daggers at him. While he stood there holding his cheek.She then moved back a little and clapped her hands and said,
“Wow Daksh. You really made me proud today. You made me feel ashamed for giving you birth. Your a monster. Your not my son. Where are my values? ” She asked clutching his collars.
“I am warning you if you ever tried doing this again....forget you have a mom. ” Daksh just stood there bending his head listening whatever his mom said.Then she came to me and took me with her in her room and locked the room. I was still in the fear. Shaking, crying and still looking here and there in fear just to ensure if I am safe or not.
She kissed my forehead and said,“I am sorry dear. I failed. I failed as a mother. I failed in bringing him up. I lacked in teaching him how to respect a girl. But I assure you till Renuka Jayanth Verma is alive he won’t be able to touch you inappropriately. About beating and all I can’t do anything it’s his matter and I don’t have a say in this.”
That day I felt like I found my long lost mother.
Hey guys hope u enjoyed it. Seriously India needs more mother in law like Renuka that’s when marital rape will come to an end. We women’s are not sold to husbands in the name of marriage and they really need to know this.
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And are you thinking what happened last night bcoz of Mahir? If yes tell me in comment box and also tell me how much you liked this chapter.
So love u readers and again I will be back as soon as possible till then take care n loads of love.
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