Chapter 4: The Legend of a Tragedy
This notebook is the symbol of my broken hardships in life.
As you can see, the notebook looks clean from the outside.
The truth is that the contents inside is what matters more.
Don't judge a book by its cover.
When I was young, my older childhood friends would often scare me of the supernatural. Of course, I would easily believe them and my brain would even help them with the current situation that I was in.
I was strange even before I was young but I never realized it. It was the weirdest that I had ever experienced in my entire life. The environment and my overprotective mother helped in cultivating the worse in me.
Almost my entire childhood, I was imprisoned in their confines. Never had I got to experience going outside without them yelling at me at scolding me for trying to sneak out. All my life, my older childhood friends visit our place just to play with me. Whenever they leave, I would end up being alone.
Stories about my home and my neighborhood also helped me developed the fear of being alone and the fear of seeing things in the dark. I didn't know and I didn't understand that I had the curse to sense them. It almost drove me into a corner.
This first picture in my notebook, a lonely procession of people veiled in black while holding black candles in a misty night, signified a deep and dark path of my childhood. True, it wasn't as abusive as other children had experienced but it was traumatic nonetheless.
I remember in the past, I was often visited by scary beings that nobody else could see. I thought I was insane, but thinking about it only made me truly mad. Our household during my early childhood, there were a lot of trees and our place was sandwiched by two derelict antique buildings, both of which together was a hospital. The left side was the emergency room while the right was the place for the wards.
The Legend of a Tragedy
I became aware of the world around me when I was three. But before that, I actually had vague memories of my previous life. It came to me in the form of a dream. If only I was able to realize that it was Diaroom revealing itself to me at an early age, I could've done better in my life.
In that dream, I was a knight, a soldier, or a warrior. I fought and died valiantly in a Great War of some sort. That was all there was to it. I never really checked what my life was when I wrote my life in this room.
As I was saying before, I was pretty weird right from the beginning that I hated the word that I was described as myself. It was as I said from very beginning, I was intelligent but I wasn't wise.
I was also sickly. I suffered Dengue thrice in my childhood. I was one of the leading reasons that my parents had to imprison me in the compound and never letting me go until I was old enough to watch over myself.
That was not the case here. The Legend of a Tragedy depicts my life from ages four to eight. A funny thing about that was I only remembered until I was six due to my "retrograde amnesia". Truth is stranger than fiction. I only remembered till I was six because the other persona that took over me was born when I was seven.
The first persona that overtook me happened when I got this superiority complex going on in me. I knew that I was special and I knew that I was the best person in the world, not really. The sheer thought of being the best in the class and the thinking capacity that I had drew me lots of attentions and I loved gaining attention.
It blew his ego up and my life went downhill because of him. I decided to name my first persona as Saber. Just like the sabretooth tiger or cat. Apex predator of his time...
Then, his parents stopped guiding him. I already told you that. It led him astray... the attention he used to get from his parents dwindled... not because of the birth of his little brother but of his mom's... my mother's reserved personality.
Another factor came from Saber's classmates. They were douches, assholes, and infidels... ha ha ha ha.
They had this linear thought of being just classmates. I always thought of them as side characters in my grand story.
Talk about a big ego... Damn, I never would've thought that this was like this. I wonder, has it already affected my life now? I don't think so. I feel as though that I am just reading someone else's story. His story is leaning towards the tragic side of things. I should continue viewing his story.
I need to sleep.