Therefore Dead Inside

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Summary

Sometimes the root of our tastes is deeper than what we show. Iris's indifferent attitude towards life is one of them. "I loved rain. It was the best way to hide my tears."

Genre:
Mystery / Other
Author:
anakarolin
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
4
Rating:
5.0 1 review
Age Rating:
13+

Dark Clouds

Why am I here? I hate it here. It is just a waste of time. I am not even learning anything. Is it because Lili is here? It is nice to know you got friends. It makes it easier not to do it. Makes it easier not to jump, not to pull the trigger, not to swallow, not to… not to…

“Iris! Maybe if you spent less time destroying the desk you could be a little smarter”

I looked at my desk and noticed that I had been peeling off the paint without noticing. The giggles of my classmates drilled my ears. I wasn’t stupid, I just did not care. Everyone thought I was a stupid, lazy girl with a bad attitude. I always said I didn’t care what the others thought, and I didn’t, but, to be left out so much, it slowly corroded my strength. After 15 years of the same thing, I started to crumble.

When the bell rang I was the last one to leave. But I wasn’t alone.

“Hey Oreo”

The black and white cat strolled through the classroom. After his inspection routine, Oreo finally approached me. I petted him. He licked my hand. Oreo always came when class was over. Every time I cried or felt lonely, he was there for me. Oreo never betrayed me, he was my best friend.

“Oreo, you won’t believe what happened today. The teacher practically called me stupid and everyone laughed.”

While I was still talking the door opened. A familiar face entered the room with a serious expression.

“Hey girl, who are you talking to?”

The way Lili’s demeanor changed so quickly always amazed me. She entered the room with the face of serial killer and then she looked at me with a goofy face. That was one of the things that always intrigued me about her. It kept the friendship interesting.

“I’m talking to Oreo”

Her face changed just a bit this time. It became one of pity. She always does that when I mention Oreo. It is because she can’t see him.


“No waaay!”

Lili always reacted as if the world was going to end when I told her stuff. It didn’t bother me, but sometimes she yelled so loudly everyone stared at us. But as long as she listened to me I didn’t mind. She had very good advice.

“Maybe you should try to pay attention to class…”

“Shut up.”

I never listened though.

“How do you want thing to change if you don’t change yourself?”

“I don’t remember you becoming Gandhi.”

Lili snorted and swallowed her whole donut at once. That girl, she always ate as a pig and never gained a gram. She was pretty smart as well, even so, no one seemed interested in her. Sometimes I feared it was my fault, but Lili always blamed it to her eating habits.

“By the way Iris, how many days?”

She never mentioned the word, it was as if she was scared of it. Self-harm. It is an ugly word, I understand it, but it had become so usual to me it had lost any impact.

“None”

“What on Earth? Why?”

I shrugged my shoulders. It didn’t mean "I don’t know", the years had changed its meaning to "I felt numb and I wanted to check if I was alive". A long silence followed, not an awkward one. There was no space for awkwardness in our friendship. Memories, secrets, tears, and what more left no space for something as useless as awkwardness.

The second bell rang, we were to return to class. We picked our stuff and started walking. I raised my sight and saw how dark clouds came our way. It will rain soon… I loved rain. It was my favorite way to hide my tears.



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Further Recommendations

Have_a_nice_day: A great book. Loved it. You have a great writing style that I seem to like and you helped me fill 10 hours of boredness because I was reading this book. It's so sad that an author like you isn't really known well. Hope you gain more followers :)

Shraddha Nigdikar: I'm confused yet... not sure where this is going... but I'll keep reading it

jennerholly1991: Great read. I hope you update new chapters soon

eclipse: I chose a 5 and I will recommend it to my friend that also read books like these

Patricia Reeks: Good and brilliant

Taylor Redman: Wowwwwwwww 🥵🥵🥵🥵

fpvracing: I have read this a few times and each time I love it more. Keep up the fantastic work, your work keep you intrigued for the start 🤗

Alessabarnes: INTERESTING STORY, HAD TO SAY FELL TO IT BY ACCIDENT. DON'T UNDERSTADN HOW THIS DOESN'T HAVE REVIEWS STILL.oVERALL OF THE STORY, GOOD, LIKE THE DEVELOPMENT EVENTHOUGH IT WAS CONFUSING CERTAIN MOMENTS. FLOW OF THE STORY IS GOOD, IT ATTRACTS AND CAPTURES YOUR ATTENTION. nEED ABIT OF MORE MYSTERY T...

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Kellyan David: I really liked but it's not the ending I was hoping for. I really enjoy reading and the ending made it a bit real and not fiction because ppl do go through things like that. I'm happy they stuck together through it all

Melanie Rose: I liked the characters

adesuyi kemi: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Sheena: This story was a whirlwind of emotions and nonstop action. You never expect how things work out, so it keeps you hooked. I'm looking forward to the next one.

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