Therefore Dead Inside

All Rights Reserved ©

Summary

Sometimes the root of our tastes is deeper than what we show. Iris's indifferent attitude towards life is one of them. "I loved rain. It was the best way to hide my tears."

Genre:
Mystery / Other
Author:
anakarolin
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
4
Rating:
5.0 1 review
Age Rating:
13+

Dark Clouds

Why am I here? I hate it here. It is just a waste of time. I am not even learning anything. Is it because Lili is here? It is nice to know you got friends. It makes it easier not to do it. Makes it easier not to jump, not to pull the trigger, not to swallow, not to… not to…

“Iris! Maybe if you spent less time destroying the desk you could be a little smarter”

I looked at my desk and noticed that I had been peeling off the paint without noticing. The giggles of my classmates drilled my ears. I wasn’t stupid, I just did not care. Everyone thought I was a stupid, lazy girl with a bad attitude. I always said I didn’t care what the others thought, and I didn’t, but, to be left out so much, it slowly corroded my strength. After 15 years of the same thing, I started to crumble.

When the bell rang I was the last one to leave. But I wasn’t alone.

“Hey Oreo”

The black and white cat strolled through the classroom. After his inspection routine, Oreo finally approached me. I petted him. He licked my hand. Oreo always came when class was over. Every time I cried or felt lonely, he was there for me. Oreo never betrayed me, he was my best friend.

“Oreo, you won’t believe what happened today. The teacher practically called me stupid and everyone laughed.”

While I was still talking the door opened. A familiar face entered the room with a serious expression.

“Hey girl, who are you talking to?”

The way Lili’s demeanor changed so quickly always amazed me. She entered the room with the face of serial killer and then she looked at me with a goofy face. That was one of the things that always intrigued me about her. It kept the friendship interesting.

“I’m talking to Oreo”

Her face changed just a bit this time. It became one of pity. She always does that when I mention Oreo. It is because she can’t see him.


“No waaay!”

Lili always reacted as if the world was going to end when I told her stuff. It didn’t bother me, but sometimes she yelled so loudly everyone stared at us. But as long as she listened to me I didn’t mind. She had very good advice.

“Maybe you should try to pay attention to class…”

“Shut up.”

I never listened though.

“How do you want thing to change if you don’t change yourself?”

“I don’t remember you becoming Gandhi.”

Lili snorted and swallowed her whole donut at once. That girl, she always ate as a pig and never gained a gram. She was pretty smart as well, even so, no one seemed interested in her. Sometimes I feared it was my fault, but Lili always blamed it to her eating habits.

“By the way Iris, how many days?”

She never mentioned the word, it was as if she was scared of it. Self-harm. It is an ugly word, I understand it, but it had become so usual to me it had lost any impact.

“None”

“What on Earth? Why?”

I shrugged my shoulders. It didn’t mean "I don’t know", the years had changed its meaning to "I felt numb and I wanted to check if I was alive". A long silence followed, not an awkward one. There was no space for awkwardness in our friendship. Memories, secrets, tears, and what more left no space for something as useless as awkwardness.

The second bell rang, we were to return to class. We picked our stuff and started walking. I raised my sight and saw how dark clouds came our way. It will rain soon… I loved rain. It was my favorite way to hide my tears.



Continue Reading Next Chapter
Further Recommendations

Avery Law: The book moves fast but it’s a very good read. I like that there isn’t actual relationship drama and just about revenge and fighting.

abbydole: I was hooked the moment I started reading!! I love, love, love this book!!!!

sn7066: Omg i loved this story you have to do a part 2

winterwolf0100: I absolutely loved this book! It is such an amazingly-written rollercoaster of emotions! There were points when I couldn’t stop laughing (during which my family thought I was crazy 😆) and points when I just broke down sobbing (during which my family still thought I was crazy.) I would absolutely ...

reefathh1: I'm always found of teen love stories. Though the school romance & hallway politics are not new but the writing style made the difference. I simply loved it as a lover of teen romantic novels. Highlights of the story is the story telling capacity of the author is really up to the mark very easy ...

Alaska_1234: Ffheyhwtgtqhtqb

Helen Grace Rivera: True and unselfish love exemplified by Poppy when she gave up everything for Rhys to reach his dreams. I hope Rhys will stand up for both of them til the end no matter what the challenges are. Great writing by a great author. Waiting for more updates.

Samantha Lynne Mead: Stuck like chuck to this book. I'm really enjoying it so far.

leenakottathuvila: The story was absolutely fantastic and mind thrilling .Hard to keep down Enjoyed it thoroughly.

More Recommendations

Meera Pathak: Woww the story is quite interesting

juansreyna24: Really like this story has kept me on the egde of my seat I really hope if it's not finished it's finished really soon

Felecia Dobney: I am in love with this book I made all my friends get the app and shared all the books I have read and this book was on top of it all.

Divine Ish: A feel good forbidden love story. Thank you for sharing your talent. Hopeful for more novels 😊😊

King Z: I like everything about this book. Please make more like it. This novel got me feeling all kinds of emotions, and once I actually cried. I LOVE IT. I wish that I can find love like that, some ride or die shit.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😂😂...

camillenoeldoug: I love this!!! What happens next? What happened to Jaxon and Amber? Does he like her surprise she bought for herself? Are they able to stabalize her nutrient loss? Does she make it safely through the pregnancy and delivery? Why did her dad disown her? Was it because of the cancer? Will she and he...

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.