Trust isn't easy
All of a sudden, I felt something warm touch my hand and realised Chris had placed his hand on mine. My hand had been clutched to form a fist until he started stroking it, making me loosen my grip.
“Take it easy, he truly isn’t worth it,” Chris reassured me.
I slowly sat up making us both eye level and before I realised what I was doing, I was raising my arms and wrapping them around Chris’s neck. In that next instant, I felt him fall towards me as if he was losing his balance, causing me to fall back, ending up where I was a moment ago.
I slowly opened my eyes which I didn’t realise I had closed... To find those blue eyes staring back at me. Chris was now in the same position Paul had been before Mrs Keats had interrupted him. Well, not quite. But I could feel this chest pressing down upon me.
At that moment, I couldn’t think of anything, except those blues eye’s staring back, I felt so calm as if I were out at sea; the clearest crystal, blue ocean, I had ever seen - I truly never wanted to leave!
I continued to stare into those ocean blues, wishing they could carry us over the waves away from everything that was happening... To our own paradise.
In that next instant, I was surrounded by darkness – Which seemed to follow me everywhere. Why, oh why, did the light vanish as soon as I felt happy? It was if the world never wanted me to be and my life would always be that way. It made me wonder if I ever had been happy. I guessed not; how could anyone be happy with no one to love and care for them, who would search the ends of the earth for them?
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me,” Chris interrupted my thoughts.
His very words, made me blink my eyes a few times. Until I could finally work out, where I was; It was still dark and I was lying on a bed which all of a sudden reminded me of what just happened or was about to, if Chris hadn’t saved me when he did.
“Are you alright, Miss Cara?” I heard Chris ask before he came to sit beside me. “Of course, you’re not,” he continued to say when I didn’t respond.
Chris sure sounded very worried and upset which compound me to sit up; it sounded like he was blaming himself, but why? He saved me. Unless he was apologising for falling on me. Which I couldn’t understand as I was at fault for that. “You have nothing to apology for... You’re my saviour!” I added as an afterthought, to try and lighten the mood which for some reason didn’t even make me smile. But it was nice to see a start of a smile form on Chris’s face.
“Someone else used to call me that – I was her Saviour and she was my Angel... No, my Mysterious Angel,” Chris said in a quiet voice while his smile got wider and wider as he stared across at the wall behind the bed. It was if he could see the very person he was talking about smiling back at him. That was before he quickly shook his head and turned back to face me. “Sorry. That’s my mind slipping again. Must be my age!”
I couldn’t help smiling at that; His age! He couldn’t possibly be much older than me, could he? I knew, I was bad at guessing ages, but he sure did look young.
“You sure do look like an Angel when you smile like that,” Chris suddenly added as he stared back at me.
I suddenly felt quite shy and could feel my cheeks heating up. I knew, if I didn’t change the subject soon, I’d end up embarrassing myself. (Kate always said I looked as ripe as a tomato whenever my cheeks did get too hot) So I quickly looked away, thinking of what I could say to change this conversation around.
“I’m sorry, that was inappropriate of me,” Chris apologised. “Now, tell me. Did Mr Mann hurt you? Physical, I mean.” He asked as if he could read my mind when really it was just my face.
I slowly turned back hoping my cheeks had returned to their normal colour which I doubted as they still felt quite warm and shook my head. “No!” I said in a quiet tone which I only just heard. This wasn’t quite the way I wanted the conversation to go but I know he was only doing his job.
“What is going on here?” I knew, I had already asked him this question before. Although, according to Chris that moment hadn’t happened. I still remembered it as clear as day. But if I was wrong, maybe I might get a different answer or hoped I would. An answer, that would make all this go away – But, I doubted it!
“I wish, I knew.” That was all Chris said before he turned his head and started glaring out into the darkness of the room. “But, it kind of rings a bell.” He took that moment to turn back around with a really sad look on his face but also a hint of fear glaring back at me. “I think, I’ve been through something like this before.”
Now, that wasn’t the answer I was expecting. The last time I remembered having this conversation, he had stated something about a government experiment. But I did remember him being embarrassed over something he saw. Could the two be linked somehow? What was I saying? That moment I remembered couldn’t have happened or was it this moment that wasn’t real? What the hell is wrong me? I sounded like a mental patient. I was expecting the men in white coats to come swarming out of the darkness at any moment.
“There is one thing that is completely different, though,” Chris continued to say. “There was never a child’s voice echoing around me.”
Now that did pull me out of my confusing mind. A child! I suddenly remembered hearing a little girl’s voice when I was wondering the ship earlier. “A child calling for their mother,” I stated out loud.
“Do you hear her, as well?” Chris asked as if confirming that he wasn’t going insane himself. “But, I hear her calling for her father,” he suddenly announced.
Now, that was strange. Unless the child started calling for one parent for so long but when that person didn’t come to their aid, started calling for the next one. Yes, that must be it! At least, it proved, I hadn’t imagined that part.
All of a sudden, I remembered the bath tub and all that blood. I most have imagined that part but I knew I had to make sure. Someone might be hurt and I knew I couldn’t live with myself if a person died because I didn’t help them. And this person right in front of me was the best person to report it to.
“Don’t worry I’m sure we’ll find the child,” Chris suddenly said.
I could feel his finger sliding back and forth over the back of my hand as he tried to reassure me. I had almost forgotten that his hand was still resting on top of mine - It felt really nice. As if someone else really did care about me. I don’t think anyone has ever done that before, although, I could be wrong. Who knows, what my life was like six months ago. I doubted it, though. Or I’m sure that person would have reported me missing.
I suddenly shook my head. What the hell was I doing? I was supposed to be talking to him about that secret room. Not, wondering about my own needs. Someone could be bleeding to death and here I am daydreaming about my past life.
“Hey, there is no point being negative. You need to think positive,” Chris continued to reassure me.
Chris thinks I’m acting this way because of the child. If only he knew what I had really been thinking. Which wasn’t the main point here, “There is... No, I think...” I started to say before stopping myself. How could I put this without sounding insane? Which I’m sure he will think I am. Especially, If no such room exists.
“What is it you’re trying to say?” Chris asked me as a concerned look started to show on his face.“You can tell me anything.”
I knew I had to tell him something. I just didn’t know how to start. All of a sudden, another memory came flooding back to me – Of Kate telling me to always take a deep breath and start from the beginning whenever I am struggling to find the right words. So I decided to give it a go.
After taking a deep breath, I started explaining what compelled me to enter this room in the first place. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him about seeing Kate, so I just told him about the bathtub that was full of blood.
The whole time, Chris’s face was very neutral; I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. He did nod his head once or twice but when I finally stopped speaking, his eyebrows raised a little higher as he stared back at me. “Blood!” Chris repeated my last word as if he wasn’t sure he had heard me correctly or didn’t quite believe me.
I slowly nodded my head wondering what he would say or do next – Properly laugh at me and realise I truly have gone insane.
Slowly, I lowered my head and stared down to where our two hands were joined; His finger had suddenly ceased moving. I truly wished I knew what he was thinking – Properly couldn’t wait to get away from me and wondering how he can do that without hurting my feelings.
Here it comes... Or so I thought. But Chris took that moment to go silent, once again. Must be thinking of another tactic – I wanted him to just hurry up and get it over with. Not that I wanted him to leave, far from it. But I wouldn’t force him to stay. This was making me wonder if that’s what happened to me before the accident; Did everyone think the same thing, making them run for their lives? Is that what happened to everyone on this ship? Would my life always be this way?
Was I cursed? Destined to be alone. I knew I had Kate, but would I ever see her again? All these questions were swarming around in my mind, making me feel light-headed. I was sure my head would roll off any moment.
I suddenly felt cool air hit the back of my hand and realised that Chris had already moved his. It wouldn’t be long now before he was gone completely, disappearing into the darkness, never to be seen again.
In that next instant, I felt a light pressure under my chin and something blocking my view, before my chin was lifted up and I came face to face with a look I hadn’t seen in a long time. The last time someone looked at me like this was when I woke up in hospital six months ago and I saw Kate staring back at me; it was the look of concern but it was the eyes that stood out the most, making them look so intense as if I was the most precious thing in their life.
“Hey... Come on. There’s no need for those.” I heard Chris say in a quite tone.
It almost sounded like he was whispering and I couldn’t understand why or what he was on about. That was until his other hand appeared in front of my face and gently touched the corner of my left eye and then moved to do the same thing to the other one. Instantly, I felt my eyes moist over and suddenly realised I was crying. I realised my mixed emotions were clouding my judgement and making me lose control. I knew I had to snap out of this; crying would get me nowhere – That’s what Kate always told me. ‘Crying doesn’t solve anything, you just need to voice your emotions’. There was no way I would do that with a complete stranger. Although, for some reason I felt as if I knew Chris. But how would I know if I could trust him? ‘Trust had to be earned’ - Well, that was what Kate had told me when we first started talking in the hospital.
Are you enjoying my ongoing story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Julie HullWrite a Review