A Million Times

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3.0 | S E L C O U T H

and her heart was the best part, it would always calm the storm for those who were afraid of a little rain.

D E S P E R A T I O N. I really wanted to run out of my history classroom right now. I feel like the walls are closing up on me. I couldn’t concentrate on anything the new young teacher was saying. I don’t know why I was feeling this way. Nothing bad happened to me today. It was becoming hard for me to breathe.

“Natasha. Natasha Heatherton. Are you with us?”

The voice brought my focus back to the class. Mr. Scott was giving me a concerned look and looked really worried. I stood up as I remembered he called out my name. Every head turned in my direction and I couldn’t help but feel a little self-conscious. I looked at my book not making eye contact with anyone because I felt the panic rise in me again.

“Yes, Sir.”

My voice was just above a whisper but somehow the teacher spared me and told me to pay attention. He kept looking back at me with confusion and I ducked further down my desk. The bell rang and I was the first one to pack my books in my hands, making a run for the exit.

I desperately needed some fresh air right now. With that thought in mind, I made a run for the terrace. Only stoners go up there and I usually stay away from that area but not today. Finding some solace in a corner was the idea but my moment of solitary was disturbed by the foul smell of smoke.

I turned my head towards the source of said smoke and my eyes gazed back at those electrifying blue eyes that stared back at me.

“W-What are you doing here?”
I asked in the eerie silence but the only response I got was the puff of smoke that came out of his mouth. His eyes kept their insane stare at me making me feel calm for some reason unknown.

He was standing there leaning against the wall smoking the death stick without a care in the world. Maybe I could try that and feel carefree like him. With cautious steps, I moved towards him. The first expression broke out on his face.

Confusion? Uneasiness? No.

I slowly extended my fingers towards him and grabbed the cigarette. His grip loosened on it and with a spark of curiosity in his blue orbs he passed me the cigarette.

Looking into his eyes I felt fearless and brought the cigarette to my lips and took a puff just like he was doing.

Sucking on it and exhaling the smoke out of my lips I didn’t felt anything. Maybe this is the reason why so many people are wasting their lives sucking on it. They don’t want to feel anymore.

He took the cigarette from my hands and sucked back on it covering his lips right around my lipstick prints. With a smirk forming on his face he said

“Princess we just indirectly kissed.”


F E E L I N G S. I have never been affected by someone so much, this fast. I don’t know anything about him. His voice raised every bump in my skin and smoothen it all at once.

“What is your name?”
I asked instead of replying to his kissing remark trying not to show how much this was freaking me out.

He quirked his perfectly shaped eyebrow and stared at me intensely. I shivered under his gaze, goosebumps crowding my skin. I looked away and observed the hummingbird sitting on the railing.

“You must be really dull if you don’t know who am I. ”
His husky voice reached my ears and I focused my sharp glare at him. The smug look on his face was making him look disgustingly handsome.

“If I don’t know who you are then you are not that famous I guess.”
I snapped back at him. It was not one of my best comebacks but it was all I could muster up at this moment. He walked like a predator to me and covered the small distance we had between us. I stood my ground and looked up at those shining blue orbs.

He hooked a finger under my chin and then captured my jaw with his hand bringing my mouth awfully close to his. For a few moments, we just stared at each other, taking the same air, surrounded by mint and smoke. His face giving nothing away and mine giving away every suppressed emotion I feel for this unknown guy.

The pressure around my jaw increased and a sudden sense of panic rose in my chest and then it stopped with every other part of my body, expect my heart which thudded in my chest like a bass when his lips grazed mine. I looked up straight into his eyes and then we both stood still watching with fascination where our upper lips touched each other. And then it was gone.

He pulled back and caught my hand, caressing my knuckles, he ran his thumb over the middle of my palm in a circular motion. I wanted to cry and then scream at him. I looked at him with the most confusing look I could make.

“Xavier Knox”
The name was whispered in the air and it stayed there until every word touched my skin and emotion completely unknown to me spread through my heart.

I sucked in the much-needed air because my lungs were about to give in. I stared at his retreating back and shook myself out of this trance that I created around myself.

After a few minutes, I moved back to my next class and sat on the desk without an ounce of knowledge of anything happening around me.

Xavier Knox

His name suited him. Mysterious and dangerous. My mind was stranded with thoughts, all of which involved him. I almost kissed him today. That was my first kiss too. I blushed thinking about him being my first to many other things.

Today I felt elated. I tried to pay attention in classes but then my mind would whisper his name. It was a wasted effort. When it was time for lunch break I searched for him but I couldn’t find him anywhere, not even on the terrace.

After failing to find him, I made my way to the canteen. Standing in the queue I waited for my turn. Today they were serving sandwiches and a chocolate muffin. As I filled my tray, I turned around and tried to make my way past a smug-looking Joshua and his gang.

I didn’t saw his leg coming out so the next thing I knew the tray flew right out of my hands and I almost touched the ground. Almost. Everyone was laughing but they stopped suddenly.

I took in his musky scent and he pulled me back up by my shoulders. Xavier looked very much murderous like he did last night. He steadied me behind him and stalked towards Joshua like a predator.

I saw Joshua visibly swallow before he started backing away a little. Xavier reached him in two strides and took him by his collar almost choking him. He gasped for air but Xavier only tightened his hold.

“Stay away from her. I don’t want to see you or your clowns near her again. Fail to understand this and I’ll show you exactly why there are rumors about me being a killer.”
The pin-drop silence was more thunderous than the rowdy talks. Everyone was staring at me, at him trying to make out why a guy like him stood for a girl like me. A nobody.

I turned around and ran out of that place. Away from the eyes and away from him. He’s just too much.

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