A Million Times

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4.0 | O R P H I C

I hope you find the kind of love where a single touch can calm your tormented soul.

F E A R. I was so scared of these feelings. They were overwhelming me. What he did today spread like a wildfire in the whole school. Now wherever I was going people were staring at me, whispering to each other. The walls were closing on me again but I held my head up and straightened my shoulders not letting any of these things affect me. I don’t know whether to kiss him or scream at him for making a scene today. Because of him, everyone is talking about me. I hate attention.

When the school got over, I literally ran out of the place of torture in mere seconds but couldn’t get fast enough before Xavier grabbed me and pushed me into an empty classroom. I immediately shrugged his hands off my arms and turned my face away from him. Yes, I was acting like a baby but I don’t want to talk to him and he can’t manhandle me like that.

I could sense him moving towards me. I turned around to face him and definitely, he was advancing towards me. I kept moving back until my back hit the wall. His hands rested on either side of my face and I gulped visibly.

“Move away. You are crowding my personal space. ”
I said in my best firm voice I could muster up at that moment.

“Did you enjoyed what Joshua did to you today?”
His deep voice sounded more thunderous in the silence of an empty room.

“Did you enjoy the moment of attention?”
A frown settled over my face hearing the venom in his voice.

“Are you crazy? I hate what he did to me today. But that’s my fight. You can’t threaten people like that.”
His eyes narrowed and his face moved closer leaving an inch of space between us.

“Good. He’ll never bother you again after today. And I will do whatever I want to and I’ll do it again if it involves you. Don’t you dare avoid me like you did today I don’t like being left like that.”
The anger I was suppressing came out in full force.

“Why you arrogant stupid excuse of a man--”
His lips came down upon mine so fiercely that my heart almost stopped beating and then started back again with beats so loud that I’m sure he could hear them too. His hands came around my waist like a vice and my hands moved around his neck as if they belonged there.

With little effort, he lifted me up and my legs wound around his hips automatically like I’ve been practicing this my whole life. His lips left mine as we inhaled the much-needed air and then his lips followed down the path down my neck.

His kisses were brutal. He tugged on my skin and bit them. He didn’t just kiss me he tried to own me. There was a desperation in his kisses. He pushed me higher up and my top was now gaping wide and my black bra could easily be seen. My cleavage was right at his face and he sucked at the skin he saw. I’m damn sure he left few marks there too.

I pulled his hair hardly when I felt him going for my nipples. He looked at me and smiled boyishly and I couldn’t help but smile back. He settled me back on the ground and we stood there arms around each other with our foreheads touching and souls still connected. He tugged my top back to its place and ran his fingers through my wild hair.

I have so many questions. There are so many doubts and confusion clouding my mind. But in all this foggy air, the one thing that was clear to me was that Xavier Knox is someone who is going to be a part of my life whether I wanted him to or not. He’s already in my head and now after today, he is slowly going to crawl his way through my heart.

I hope he stays there and doesn’t leave me with its pieces.


W A L K. We walked back to my house holding hands the whole way talking about little things, getting to know each other a little better. I found out he loves to cook which surprised me and he promised me a ravishing dinner one day. I told him about how much I love singing and how I’m still so shy to sing freely enough in front of an audience to which he requested a private show for him.

I laughed and giggled all the way from school. We didn’t talk about the kiss and that was okay with me. Maybe we still need a little more time to process it all in and right now it’s better this way.

When my house came into view I stopped and turned to face him. I felt brave. I kept my hands on his shoulders and got on my toes and kissed him softly and gave him a shy smile. His eyes were dark and he almost growled before he pulled me in his arms and kissed me properly and soundly on my lips.

“This is more like it. You kiss like a baby. ”
My face flushed with embarrassment because I kissed him softly before.

“I’m sorry if I’m not experienced enough. From having none kisses to all the kisses we shared so far, I’ll say I’m still learning.”
I huffed out a breath in annoyance and almost missed that smug look on his face.

“Go to your house. Don’t be late today.”
I almost started walking to my house then stopped abruptly and turned around.

“What do you mean by don’t be late today?”
I asked him giving him my usual confused look.

“Be ready by seven. I’m taking you out. We are going out on a date. I’ll pick you up.”
His eyes were intense and dark. He just ordered me to go out with him but I’m learning that is how he is.

“I can’t.”

As much as I would love to spend some time with him out of school I cannot. My stepfather is a business mogul and I need to accompany him and my mother to a business event about which I couldn’t care less. There is already enough bad blood between my mother and me. I don’t want her to take this as an excuse to shout all her frustrations at me.

That’s what I have always been to her: a burden.

“Why? There is nothing you could be doing today.”
His voice sounded slightly panicked but he covered it up real quick.

“I have to attend an event with my family today.”
I couldn’t decipher the look that crossed across his face but it had the hair on the back of my neck standing.

With that one word said he turned around and walked back to the darkness he came from and I don’t know why but I felt like I just saw a glimpse of it today in him too.


The event was completely something I had expected: boring and fake. The people were literally smiling so much when they were talking to one another and the second the person moves away, the smile falls like a charade.

Why do people feel the need to destroy everything beautiful about them? A smile is one of the most beautiful attributes of a person. A smile is unique and always makes everyone around us happy. It should be real.

Xavier has a beautiful smile. A smile which is so boyish and carefree but he doesn’t smile much and when he smiled at me today I felt the like it lit me up.

I quietly sipped my cocktail looking around when I spotted a familiar figure. My hands got so clumsy that I almost dropped the glass.

I knew that man. He’s been attending some parties and I saw him every time that I have accompanied my parents. My stepfather feared him or say almost everyone in this room feared him. The hall filled with people felt empty when that man walked in and right beside him was Xavier Knox who looked straight at me and then looked away as if I didn’t even exist.

What the hell is he doing here?

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