Why I killed myself

All Rights Reserved ©

Chapter 4

The worst of the worsts started happening after Mama's death. No one had any idea that mama was the only one keeping dad sane - as sane as he was.

One of the most terrifying things happened when I was in s.s.s2 that was about two years after we packed to the area. The community landlords was trying to correct dad on one of his mistakes but dad took it the wrong way and rushed inside like a mad dog he was.

I was at one corner in the sitting room, manually ironing the skirt that I was planning to wear to coaching that Saturday morning. Mom and Juliana were in the kitchen, preparing breakfast and I guessed Julliet was in our room.

Dad rushed inside the house screaming his throat down like a crowned frog and rushed to the store which was inside the kitchen. He came out few seconds later with our new Cutlass and rushed outside, daring anyone of the landlords who was bold enough to face him.

I left what I was doing and rushed to Mom's room because it was going to give me a better view of what was happening outside.

Juliana and mom rushed outside to calm him down but it wasn't helping and I was very scared that he was going to turn to them and hit them with the cutlass. And julliet was no where to be found, I guessed she was too scared to show her face.

I looked beyond what was happening in front of the house and saw one of the landlords went inside his house and brought out four shinning cutlasses. He shared three and held onto the last one telling people they were going to attach him if he tried anything funny.

I touched my cheeks and realized that I was crying. I cried silently and walked out of mom's room. If anything happened to him, it was on him.

I was about to head out of our room when I heard someone saying "That man is too dangerous to be around us" I back tracked and looked out the window. There were ten men at the next building to us, whom were discussing what was good for the community.

I scanned the group for who was talking and it was Peter's dad "We have to inform the police. They have to do something about this"

"Let just pardon him" another man said

"No that is too dangerous. The man can just start knocking on doors and start cutting people" Peter's dad said

"And that is a valid point" the landlord's chairman noted.

I left them to their discussion and rushed out of the house.

My mind was at home throughout the coaching because my mind was going back to Peter's dad words. Were they going to arrest dad? Would that be the last time I would see him? That second question kept popping in to my mind because I had no idea about how the police operates. Would he be sentenced to death or to prison? And if that happened who would help us?

Dad was Mama's only son and child and both of them had practically made it clear that they don't need family. Mama had poisoned dad's mind that their family were either witches or wizards and they were both trying the same thing on we the kids even though I was sure that I wasn't buying their shit.

I got home in the evening and how everything was at home confirmed my suspicious. Mom wasn't home. Juliana was sleeping and Juliet and her friend disorganized the sitting room.

"Where is mom?" I asked Julliet

She didn't replied and instead went to our room to wake Juliana up.

"She went to the police station" Juliana replied.

"When? What happened? Did something else happened after I left home?"

"No. Not long after you left, the police came and took dad away. So, mom is working on his bail"

Even though I hated him and even though he hit me almost everyday, I was still scared of him being locked forever. At least he was my father and there was nothing I could do that would change that.

"What if they aren't going to collect his bail? What are we going to do then?" I asked with panick

"We will have to wait until mom comes home and tells us what is going on" Juliana answered and I realized that she was actually in control of the situation.

"I'm hungry" Julliet interrupted

"Haven't you guys eaten?" I asked

"No" julliet replied

"We were waiting for you. You-know-i-cant---" Juliana said

"Yeah I understand" I said as I was making my way to the kitchen.

Mom got home and told us dad was telling her to call the commissioner.

Commissioner was mom's uncle who was once a commissioner of police in the state. None of mom's family got along with dad because of his disrespectful manners and misbehaviours. Mom turned his suggestion down and I was really ashamed that Dad would have suggested something like that. Wasn't it enough that he embarrassed us in the community was he also trying to embarrass us in front of mom's family.

He was released the second day and that cooled him down for weeks before he returned back to how he always was.

Thankfully, dad struggled to pay off my school fee before I finished school but things were really rough. Mom took Juliana off his hand because of how rough things were but it even became more rough after that.

I graduated from secondary school and did my jamb instantly. I chose one of the most powerful University but was unable to meet the cutoff by two marks.

I had my first ever boyfriend when I graduated from secondary school but regretted choosing him as my first because he played me and mocked me in front of my friends and that was how our relationship ended even though he asked for a second chance. I wasn't stupid.

Dad wasn't happy about the fact that I failed jamb and forced me to fill a pre-degree form into another University - which I had never heard of before- and for a course I hated with passion.

At first, I was arguing with him at the cyber cafe but later surrendered because of the looks the others were giving both of us. Dad wasn't ashamed at all and continued to scream down the whole cyber cafe.

I got admitted into the university for the pre-degree program and later met another guy, whom I later realized was taken. It broke my heart but who cares. A girl must move on. I was only sixteen.

I later met another boy, whom by God's grace wasn't taken. In fact, I was his first girlfriend and lover. I care about him and I showed him how faithful I was going to be if he gave me a chance

Two weeks after our relationship started, Michael, my second boyfriend friend told me he wanted to see me and because I don't want to be rude, I went to him. We got to his room and the next thing I knew was that he started roughing me, telling me how much he had wanted to fuck me. I became scared and I started screaming for him to stop. He wasn't buying it and gave me a slap across the face.

I saw lightening and I saw baby Joan, who was lying helplessly on the cold cemented floor. She looked at me straight in the eyes and said two words which made me fought for myself "Help me"

I came back to reality and kneel him in the balls. He went down straight and I had the opportunity to run for my life. I went back to my hostel and cried for what almost happened to me that day and after like two hours, I fell asleep.

The lantern was turned off. A young girl was carried from the chair she was sitting on to a cemented floor. The guy off his trouser and climbed her. She screamed.

I jerked awake with my bed drenched in sweat. I tried to reason if what I saw was happening right now or not. I scanned my bed for my phone, turned on the flashlight. My nerves calmed down when I was sure that I was in my room and that no one was forcing himself on me

I was unable to sleep peacefully that night because anytime I closed my eyes, the only thing I saw was baby Joan weak face. I later got out of bed and read instead.

Not even up to four days after, my boyfriend started misbehaving and I asked him what was wrong but he wasn't opening up. I got worried and asked his best friend, Elizabeth what might be wrong and what she told me made my jaw dropped down.

"Michael told everyone at the football house two days ago about how you had foursome with him and his friends"

"And Ezekiel was there when he said it?

"Hundred percent"

I couldn't believe what I heard and almost told Elizabeth what really happened but I talked myself out of it. I wouldn't let anybody pity me.

I went to him to explain all what I could explain but he wasn't ready to understand and so without knowing where the both of us stood, we went our separate ways at the end of the program.

Continue Reading Next Chapter

About Us

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.