Every day that goes by I get less and less happy. Every day I put on a fake smile. Every day counts down to the day I give up.
“It all started when I was young in 3rd grade I recall I still think back to that day but it got worse later. Every day I dreaded going to school because I knew what was going to happen. They were going to say stuff and push me to the ground or exclude me. But either way I had to go. The bullying got worse over the years it went from verbal to physical they also said stuff about my family. Most nights I would ride the bus home but sometimes I would walk home and those days were the worse.I had one friend and she helped me through it. We hung out till we were friends no more. I went to a private school to escape the fights but I didn’t feel like I belonged there so I left. The next school I came to, I fit in and felt happier than I had in a long time but it soon changed. “Every day I put on a fake smile,Every day I pretended to be happy,Every day when someone asked if I am ok I said yes so no one would know,Everyday I try to make people happy, But I soon realized that every day i was less happy, less myself,Every day till i realized I was no longer me, Every day but today is the day I gave up.Every day I wonder who I am”.
I quickly shut my notebook and sketchbook as Kyle, my best friend approached. Kyle and I have been friends for a while. We met at football tryouts. He is the co-Captain of the football team as being captain it was given we were friends. As Kyle came up he jokingly reached for my notebook. I pulled it away from him and he stated “I know I know I’m not allowed to see it,”``How’s it going man ``’Good how bout you,″ I replied as I put on my varsity jacket. He said “Good and are you still coming over tonight” “I wouldn’t miss it” I said as we walked into class.The bell rang right as Kyle and I sat. Lunch came quickly and it was meatloaf again as usually I passed on it and continued to walk to my table. Kyle and I didn’t sit by the rest of the football team because we are the freshman and varsity. So instead we sat with our friends. As I sat at our table I saw Ben typing on his laptop as usually probably another crime fiction but I still ask “What are you typing over there?” He responds with “The usually bro”. Kyle soon came as he sat down and he said”What’s up guys?” All of us looked at him. He remembered”The usual”he said, mocking us. Kyle and my friends aren’t really friends, they’re just kinda co-existing. The bell rings for the end of the day and I go to the locker room and throw on my practice jersey. I got out to the field and jogged up to the huddle. After practice Kyle and I go to his house and start our project for school but after a while we sneak food in his room and start to play fortnite. Kyle liked it but I found it dumb. I look at my phone and see it is 3am and we’ve been playing for 5 hours. I turn to Kyle and point out we have a game today. We got up and went for a jog and we got home about an hour later and Kyle went to take a shower and I started to cook. By time Kyle came back down the eggs,bacon,and pancakes were already done. We won the game 24-20. To celebrate the win we went to get pizza with the rest of the team. Kyle and I went back to his house and I went to take a shower. When I walked down stairs Kyle was just sitting there confused and scared “What’s up man”I asked in confusion. He looked at me with a blank expression and said “I ain’t going tell anyone but what do you mean?”. I was really confused. He pointed to my notebook and I instantly knew what he was talking about. “Nothing” I blurted out “Don’t lie to me” he replied to my blurt. I looked down and he walked over “What’s going on man and why didn’t you tell me about it”. “Things aren’t good at home and” he cut me off “what do you mean..why didn’t you tell me…… wait is that why you basically live with me” “Yeah.. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I was scared” “Of who” he didn’t have to ask he already knew I looked down and he instantly came over to confet me “Bro its okay you don’t to deal with it alone I got your back and I won’t tell anyone” “Ya i know” I replied sadly
In the study hall I pulled out my notebook and started to write “Well Kyle read my notebook and I can’t get mad at him. He’s going to help me so I can’t give up yet so today is not the day I give up.I told him about home not being good.” I put my notebook away and grabbed my sketchbook and started to draw. I started to draw but in the end it was a rose. Brett walked by and said “Cool rose bro” “Thanks brett”. Brett was a senior on the varsity team with me and was coming around but was still mad that 2 new kids are let alone on the varsity team but are also the captains of the team. Brett went to his seat and sat down.At lunch I went straight to my table and I saw Ben typing as usual. I walked over and asked if I could see it. He was taken by surprise by this but remembered that we did write true crime together well before I started to play football. Ben said “Ya man”. It was about a girl that was murdered in a smalltown and all signs pointed to the brother killing her so he could get the family’s money to himself. After school we had our last practice and our last game is saturday and with no surprise we were an underfed team and this game meant everything to the seniors. Kyle and I were on the way back to his house. I walked in and sat on the couch that I’ve been sleeping on for the past week.After a while of playing COD Kyle looked at me “Bro, follow me”. So I followed him up the stairs and pasted his bedroom I was confused.We got to the attic stairs and he finally said something “Put this on” as he handed me a blindfold I refused for a while but reluctantly put it on he said “Trust me” as he grabbed my arm. He took it off and said this is our room on one side it had my first jersey that i played in and his jersey on the other was his and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we just stood there for a while.I got a goodnight rest for the first time in a long time.Kyle woke me up early on saturday so we could go on a run.After we got back I went upstairs took a shower and when I got downstairs and Kyle already was cooking. “I’m gonna take a shower bro”he said after he saw me “I will take over cooking” i responded. Kyle finally got out of the shower and we sat at the table together. We got on the bus after the game we won so the team voted where to go to eat and we voted Culver’s. When me and Kyle got home a stray dog looking thing walked up Kyle looked at me and I crouched down and picked up the puppy Kyle out of nowhere said “Bro be careful” and looked at the puppy. I walked inside and put the puppy in the bathtub. He was covered in mud and something red. The only thing that came to my mind was blood. After I washed the dog off I instantly knew it was blood and it was coming from his leg. I called for Kyle to bring me some gauze and wrap. He called back with “I told you to be careful with that mutt”.Kyle was now in the bathroom when I esponed “1 he didn’t bite me or cut me, 2 He isnt a dog.”. Kyle looked at me confused “Okay”. I started to wrap the dog’s leg when Kyle asked “then what is he ?” “Looks like a wolf hybrid to me” I snapped back. After a while i was up stairs in my bed playing Left4dead2 with Kyle the dog wouldn’t go near him. The dog fell asleep in between my legs. I woke up on the floor. I got up and the dog was on my bed all sprawled out. “Really”the dog looked at me confused and I kept talking “That’s my bed and I have no problem with you sleeping in it but you gotta share it”. After I finished he made a growl and moved to the other side of the bed. I laid down and he moved over to me and put his head on my chest and whimpered until I started to pet him.I woke up after a while and took him out. No one has claimed him yet and it’s been over a week. After it hit 2 weeks I decided to keep him. I named him Apollo. He seemed to like this name and caught on quick to it. I soon taught him tricks and got all his shots. Apollo grew quickly; he was 2 times the size that I found him. School starts tomorrow.
3 years ago...
As I walked into the school I walked up to my locker and pulled out my book as the football team walked over “wassup my man” he said putting his hand on my shoulder “You are ready for football bro”. He was referring to me growing 4 inches and being huge I replied “ you don’t look too bad yourself”.
“My 17th birthday is tomorrow.That means I can rent the trailer. I’ve been eyeing for a while. It was nice. It will just be me and apollo. Kyle and i havent talked for a while after what happened but that’s okay I guess.”
“Bro what’s good” I said to Matt as he passed me.He kept walking.
“Most of my old friends dont talk to me anymore but Ben and I hang out alot and I started to write again but football takes a lot of work so I type during free periods or on the bus or anytime I have free time.After Kyle’s murder everyone was on edge. Ben and I have begun investigating it and have gotten nowhere.” I shut my book as the teacher asked for the answers. It was the last period before football and the sheriff walked with two other cops. I was confused when they said my name.
The memories of that night came back I murdered my best friend that night we were drunk and i messed up i gott proving not guilty but i a and i’ll live with that every day of my life.
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