Undesirable Sanity

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The word “GUILTY” flashed on the small screen above the slots, and confetti blasted from the machine.

“So...I really lost, huh?” Bill asked with a large smile. “I’ve never felt the despair of losing before! Or the despair of death! This will be despairingly great! Ahahahaha!”

The large, red button rose out from the floor in front of his throne.

“So you’ve all won, then!” he exclaimed. “You’ve beaten the mansion of despair...and you all get to leave and go to the outside world! I wonder if you’ll accomplish anything out there. Well, I won’t be there to find out!”

His hand hovered over the button. “Hehe, I wonder what despairingly gruesome execution awaits me?”

Everyone watched as Bill pushed the button.

On the screen of the button panel, the usual pixel animation popped up. A Bill sprite stood behind a red background. “GAME OVER” read the screen in red text. “Bill has been found guilty. Commencing execution.”

Dimitris came on to the screen. Except for this time, instead of him dragging Bill off the screen by the neck, he took Bill’s hand and led him off the screen.



Bill stood proudly on top of a tower of two blocks. He still held the large grin on his face, and he waved one hand high above his head. Behind him was dark, but the lights flicked on and revealed what lay behind him: black powder barrels, mutants, a target, a large bow and quiver, a run-and-jump course, and large blades shaped like scythes, all coming together for one super duper nasty torture.

Bill was surrounded by black powder. However, he wasn’t held back by any sort of chains, so he could move freely. Suddenly, it lit off with a huge BOOM, but Bill was just blasted into the air, whooping and laughing excitedly.

Bill was surrounded by zombies. But this time, he was equipped with a katana. He slashed through all the zombies, laughing as he decapitated and stabbed all of them until finally, they were no more.

The large target stood once again with the large bow and arrow facing it. The arrows flung at the target, except there was nobody inside the hole where the bullseye would go this time. Bill was standing on the arrow that hit the bullseye and rode it as it hit the target, leaping off just as it hit with a laugh.

Bill leaped through the jump course with ease, outrunning the acid. He made it to the final platform, but before it shot up into the ceiling, another platform rose out of the acid, and he jumped off dramatically, doing a flip mid-air, landing on the new platform. The platform he had just escaped from smashed into the ceiling.

Bill sat upon the six-foot gold bar tower, one leg crossed and bouncing as the conveyor belt pulled him backward. He rode carelessly with his big grin as each blade just narrowly missed him. He didn’t even bat an eye.

Finally, he came to the third blade. The conveyor belt stopped him right in the path of the third blade. Bill turned his head to passively watch the blade come down but looked up in surprise as light purple electricity shot up through the blade, and it came to a slow, creaky halt, gently touching Bill’s leg without even breaking the skin.

In front of the tower, Bill turned his attention as light purple electricity jerked around on the floor in front of him. It slowly rose up and became the form of a person.


Bill chuckled. “You’re saving me, too, huh?” he asked the AI.

But Malcolm said nothing. For once his face was blank, and he wasn’t smiling brightly. He just blinked calmly at Bill. Bill looked confusedly down at the AI, but uncrossed his legs and prepared to slide off the tower.

He never saw Dimitris rise up from behind the tower with a .32 pistol.

He never expected it until he saw the gaping wound the round left in his torso.

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