Each day, after years and years of living again...
Dozen of pillows, handkerchiefs and tissues have tasted and drunk my tears as I mourned.
And my tears are now all dry.
Billions have heard my cry as I whisperly howl in the corner.
And I will no longer cry for her anymore.
At this very moment as I offer my final goodbye, as for the very first time that I will give her a pass and will be excused for not answering back to me and just give me no response.
---And I know that she will no longer hear me.
But somehow, somewhere ...
Just lie there, my friend. Take a rest for a while. No hardships for you anymore.
Morning is up and the sun is on its way to do its daily task. I woke up with a strange feeling within me. I can't point out what it is nor which is which. It just felt so odd ----very.
As time keeps on doing its job, I later did not mind the strange feeling. I forced myself to start the day with happy thoughts. I took a bath and changed clothes, ate my breakfast ---- my usual morning routine.
I , then, went out to go to elsewhere but my home. I went inside my favorite store to find my childhood gummies but there were out of stock so I went off and started walking. While walking staight ahead to fastfood resto I bumped myself into a crowded area. It was so unusual because people normally just pass by that abandoned 3-story motel as if it was not there. I wanted to find out what's going on but I'm too weak to make myself go in the middle of a crowd.
So, I walked away. I did not go to the resto anymore. I directly proceeded to my house.
Late at night, I decided to watch movies because I was bored so I made popcorn with a partner of softdrink. And suddenly, out of nowhere I wondered why my friends did not come by my home to spend our time together. I went upstairs to get my phone and texted them that if they're not busy, we'll be having a movie marathon and do sleepover.
I went downstairs with my phone. While I waited for their replies, I lay down the couch and opened the TV. I changed the channels continuously until the news flushed about what happened in the abandoned motel earlier.
Tears went out of my eyes and began to feel the pain. I was schocked. So shocked.
Then, blood started on pouring out of my body, each second I feel weaker and weaker.
How fool can I be?
Little did I know that I fooled myself living for today.
The crowded people from earlier were the ones whose surrounding my corpse.
I'm the star, the topic of the news.
My friends who I assumed they were, turned out to be the suspects.
The news told it all. No wonder I felt so strange.
I was alive.
I cannot forgive so I won't. And if ever I break this promise I'll say my permanent goodbye.
I began on living again ---- but with death.
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