"You remind me of myself"
These were the words that my uncle said while giving me the gift for my birthday this year.
I liked him. He always have been giving me things that I wanted for my birthday. I don't even know how he knew what I want. Of course, I sometimes told my parents what i would like to get, for example, and maybe they would pass on my word to him in a such case. But there were years when I didn't tell anyone what I want, while he still got it. Well, I wasn't complaining.
And now I'm in my room. And this year I didn't have any requests at all. I had what i wanted. So what could I get from him?
I opened the box. There was a knife inside and... another box, smaller one. On top of it was a note.
Use the knife to slice the box and its insides open. From top to bottom. I had drawn black lines to show you exactly where you have to cut. Otherwise you will destroy the present. Good luck.
Okay, that's pretty... interesting form of packing something. Cutting top of the box - that's what probably most of us are doing when we are unpacking things. But... from what I understood, slicing the WHOLE package in half? That seemed not-so-usual. Well, my uncle wasn't an ordinary person. He was intriguing. This gift intrigued me.
I picked up the knife and took out the smaller box from the bigger one and put it on the table. It was pretty heavy. Not the table, the box... but now that i think about it, the table also should be heavy. I didn't need to check that though.
The black lines were just right at the middle of the package and they ran all the way to the both ends of my gift. I put my finger on the blade of the knife. I wanted to check how sharp it was... probably. I quickly regretted it. It was indeed really sharp. I got a small cut on my finger. Blood dripped to the floor.
Well, if I accidently destroy the present I would still have this badass knife at least. Actually I think that it would be perfectly fine gift on its own. But I also got this mysterious box, covered in black lines. And I was going to open it. In a pretty destructive way.
I raised the knife. The blade went down. It cut through the box with ease, but suddenly I felt more pressure. And heard a sound. Something like... popping someone's insides out.
Now, I started to get nervous. What the fuck? What the fuck was that sound?
I was becoming more and more nervous. My hands began to shake. Something red splatted out to my hand. I immediately backed out. Again... WHAT THE FUCK? I stood on my legs staring down on to my hand, covered in a substance similar to blood, for a good minute. I calmed down, regained stable breathing and went to the bathroom to wash my hands.
Back in my room. I still have been confused, so I threw my wobbly body on my armchair. And stayed on it for another good minute. Or two. Staring at box.
Finally, I managed to get up. And to get near the box. I held my breath and looked over the package. And I fucking shat my pants.
Inside was a watermelon. DAMN WATERMELON. I couldn't containg my laugh. Nice joke uncle, you motherfucker.
s l i c e t h e b o x o p e n
What could even be there that could whistand literally cutting it in half? Can't think of anything.
And it looked like my uncle thought the same. Nothing could whistand it.
So the gift was a knife. And my beloved family member also provided me with an object to test it! Shame that my dumb ass brain had to use my finger as a test subject first. Well, happens.
Knife. A gift. Or so I thought.
I picked up the watermelon from a box and... I regretted that. Like testing the blade with my finger. But this time, regret was way bigger.
Inside the wateremelon was a a body of a little cat. Body cut in half. But not perfectly in half. It was brutally ruptured. The insides were shredded.
My shaking hands did this. The knife was covered in blood. My hands were covered in blood. The floor - with my vomit.
But suddenly, I calmed down. I raised the knife again. And cut my throat.
Thank you, uncle.