“Raven!” I called out for her as I see her leave our college. She didn’t listen to me and sat on her bike. I ran after her but she rode away and I followed her in my car. I wanted to know what has happened to her. It has been killing for the past few days and I need to know it.
Our lectures were over for today. It was 4 in the evening and it was the fall season. I loved this season because well, I just love it. It was always so cosy and I felt comfortable in this weather.
I haven’t told Amy about what I have found out about Raven because it feels like it is my little secret I share with Raven and I do not want anyone to know about it even though I haven’t found out everything.
“Raven! Listen to me,” I say getting out of my car and ran towards her as she sat down on the grass. She was sitting by the lake and I never knew it existed till Raven came here right now. She pulled out her laptop and started making notes and studying and completely ignored me.
“Raven, I am so sorry,” I say and she looked at me.
“I am so sorry I called you those things. I shouldn’t have without knowing anything about you,” I say but she doesn’t say anything.
“Raven say something,” I say and she looks at me.
“It’s fine Chris. I am used to this criticism anyways,” she says with so much hurt that I had tears in my eyes. I didn’t know the reason and yet I was about to cry.
“What do you mean by that Raven?” I ask but she looked away. She was looking at the far away trees but not one in particular. See was staring into nothing.
“Raven, talk to me,” I say but she looked away.
“I do not have to talk to anyone. I am fine being alone,” she said not looking at me.
“Raven please. It is fine to talk to me and share things with me,” I say and she scoffs shaking her head.
“Wow!” she said under her breath.
“Why did your parents abandon you Raven?” I ask and she stood up to face me. She was shocked that I knew this.
“Who told you this?” she asked furiously but I saw fear in her eyes.
“Raven that’s not what is important. Why did they do it? And what relationship do you have with the Grey’s?” I ask but she ignored me and packed all of her things and started walking away from me.
I ran after her and stopped her. I had to talk to her. We are so close to talking, she can’t just leave now. I want to help her and she should co-operate it.
“Why Raven? What happened to you?” I ask and she had tears in her eyes. I think I pulled some sensitive nerve but she had to talk to me and open up to me.
“Raven, its fine. You can talk to me,” I say and she looked away.
“No it is not fine Chris,” she said walking away faster and I held her hand. She turned around really fast and pushed my hand away. She always did when someone touched her. Why though?
“Raven,” I say softly but she doesn’t listen. I think about the time when I wanted to talk to someone when I found out that my mom was cheating on my dad. I wanted someone to be there for me and yet no one was.
I was trying to get Raven to talk because I believe that if you talk about your worries to someone, you feel better and relieved, like something has lifted off of your chest. I wish I had someone willing to listen to me when I was depressed.
“I am trying to help you Raven,” I say and she was furious.
“I am not some charity work Chris. You are interested in knowing about me because you are the kind of guy who wants to get something they are denied of and now you want to know about me to feed your satisfaction,” she said and I agree with her. I used to be that kind of a guy but -now I have changed.
“No Raven, I promise you. I want to help you and this is nothing other than that,” I say and she looked like she didn’t believe me.
“I am trying to help you because I know how it is like to not have someone to talk to when you want to. I know how it feels Raven. My mom was cheating on my dad and I knew about it. The whole time I knew about her affair and my parent’s getting divorced, no one cared about me and I want to help someone because I do not want them to feel those things I have felt,” I say and she smiles sarcastically.
“I don’t want your pity,” she said and I listen to her.
“I am not giving you pity Raven. I want to support you,” I say and she looks straight at me.
“You cannot support me now. It’s too late for it,” she said and I took a step closer.
“What do you mean Raven?” I ask and tears were rolling down her cheek.
“You cannot help me, no one can,” she said looking down.
“Why Raven?” I ask and at this point I could see that she was mad and angry at me.
“Raven why?” I ask her one last time before she blew at me.
“Because I have been fucking raped and held as a hostage by my own schoolmates,” she screamed at me and I was dumbfounded. I was at a loss of words.