Mr. Grayson flicks a lock of hair out of his face as he climbs back on top of me after exploring me. He kisses me forcefully, tightening his grip on my neck and suddenly, I let instinct take over me. It was as if, for the first time in my life, my thoughts had turned off and my body was moving purely by its own intuition.
"Tell me when to stop", he tells me and I reply simply and sweetly with a single word. Don't.
The moment, when it came, was nothing like I could ever imagine. The sudden and rough physicality of both our bodies was a flash of pain. It was quick, and somewhere in between my knees levering against his hips and feeling his weight on mine, my body starts to shudder and I feel my soul collapse into his.
My head is throbbing by the time I wake up and I have no idea why. It feels like a hangover but, I know for a fact that I didn't drink last night. I never drink.
I turn to my side and I'm taken back by the sight of Mr. Grayson still peacefully asleep and images of last night follow soon after. Oh no. Please don't tell me I lost my virginity to my Professor.
I hurry out of the bed and run into the bathroom.
"Nailea?", Mr. Grayson called softly. Knocking on the other side of the bathroom door
I turned my head swiftly from the mirror and looked towards the door. Suddenly, it all came back to me. Where I was and what had happened last night. I wasn't sure whether I was excited or nervous or happy or disgusted or even...violated maybe?
"Are you alright?", he asks
I turn back to the mirror and turn on the tap, letting the cold water run through my fingers before I rinse my face.
"Yes. I'm fine. I'll be right out. I just needed to freshen up"
My hands are now shaking due to the images of last night racing through all the corners and spaces of my mind. Before I know it, I accidentally knock over the toothpaste and toothbrush.
I suddenly hear the door handle begin to turn and a sense of panic takes over. Mr Grayson timidly pushes past the door and walks into the bathroom. I can't help but stay still.
He's still in his boxers.
Oh my lord, I'm seeing my psychology professor in his boxers right now. Someone pinch me, or atleast stop me from enjoying the view.
"I...uh.... I knocked over the toothbrush. I'm sorry", I stutter
"That's fine", he smirks, "Would you like me to run you a bath or will you just get dressed?"
I pause and lower my head. Oh, I'm naked.
I feel my arms cross around my chest involuntarily while he runs his fingers through his scattered long hair. Oh God, I remember how good they felt caressing my skin last night.
I pinch myself softly and shake the thought out of my mind.
"I think I'll just get dressed and head back to campus", I mutter. Walking timidly outside of the bathroom.
I hurriedly put on my dress and end up accidentally ripping my tights while I stretch them onto my legs. Mr. Grayson tip toes into the bedroom and stares blankly at me from across the room. When I'm fully dressed, I stand up and can't help but stare directly into his eyes. They send a shiver down my spine and my nose involuntary wrinkles before I stumble outside of the house.
I walk nervously to the frat house and by the time I arrive, I'm far to traumatized to think clearly. I sat at the front of the lawn and called Kayden.
Less than thirty minutes later, a car pulled up in front of the house. The passenger window rolled down and I saw Kayden's worried face. The inside of the car smelt like summer and sand. Almost like Kayden actually.
"Did you go for the party last night?", he asks me stupidly as we pull away from the curb.
"You look nice in your dress", he says, trying to get rid of the awkward silence but unfortunately for him, I don't feel like talking right now.
"I'm very tired Kayden. Can we please have this conversation later?", I sigh
"Sure". Kayden wheels the car around the corner and turned into an ongoing traffic jam. "Did you uh...did you sleep with anyone? Or?"
"What?", my head starts to spin as I remember last night foggily, "that is absolutely none of your business"
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be like that, it's just that I'm worried... about you"
"Well don't be. It doesn't matter what I did or didn't do last night"
We rode in silence for a while, those words churning in my mind from last night; are you trying to seduce me Miss Tembo? This was entirely my own fault. I don't know what came over me. I would never say such a thing to anyone...let alone my new professor, if I were in my right state of mind.
I try desperately not to picture what had happened. I try not to picture what happened in his dark room with Mr. Grayson's body against mine. A hot flush creeps over me and I groan unexpectedly.
The car comes to a stop and my eyes flicker open. I barely noticed I had dozed off. According to the clock on the dashboard, it was already almost 12pm. Great, I missed my morning class.
"Thank you for the ride", I murmur as I climb out of the car and slam the door.
When I enter my room, I see Daisy seated on the floor, surrounded by books. She must be trying to finish up an assignment last minute.
"Look who finally decided to show up!", Daisy smiles, bounding up to me and giving me a hard hug. She's dressed in her silk pajamas and her hair is braided into two pigtails
I angrily tear away from her and walk into the kitchen area to pour myself some water and take a pain pill for my throbbing headache.
"Is everything okay?", she frowns at me innocently and I huff
"How did you get home Daisy?"
"Asher dropped me off"
"Was that before or after you went to get some chips?"
"Shit, Nai, I'm so sorry—I just got carried away"
"I know you're irresponsible Daisy, That isn't a surprise", I murmur, "but I actually thought that you were a good friend. That's what surprised me"
"Please don't ever ask me to go for one of your little parties ever again"
I slam the door to the bathroom and lean my back against the wall. I'm not even angry at Daisy so much as I'm just disappointed in myself for degrading my self worth last night. But in all fairness, I wouldn't have been in that position if it wasn't for Daisy leaving me at the party. All alone and vulnerable to Mr. Xavier Grayson.
When I finally leave my bathroom, Daisy's gone and she's left me some spaghetti on the stove. I grab myself a plate and sit down on my bed to start eating. While I scroll, I get a phone call from a contact saved, 'Don't Answer'
I groan before picking up. "Hello Mother"
"Hi dear", she says, "I hope you're fine"
"It's your birthday soon. I trust that you'll come and see me?"
Hm, maybe it's the fact that I can't stand to be around you for more than an hour? You absolute control freak!
"I have urgh....mid terms", I lie
"This early in the term?"
"Oh...well, I'll keep on checking up on you and making sure that you are fine. Alright dear?"
"Alright mother", I mumble, "goodbye"
I hang up. This might be a good time to turn off my phone.