Life isn't a bed of petals. It's a bed of roses..thorns and all. You never did expect it to be so easy. You knew trouble would come. You knew that you would have to go through some hard times. You knew that your life wouldn't be perfect. You're human after all.
As time goes on and you get up in age, you've come to realise that, there's just some things not worth fighting for. Times when you really just have to be quiet and watch things unfold. Situations where you shouldn't bother defending your name..your pride...your dignity. Sometimes.....it isn't worth it.
Loneliness. You've come to embrace it. Sadness. You've come to enjoy. After years of depression, you've forgotten what it felt like to be happy. And frankly, you don't want to. You love this dark empty feeling. It's where you've made your home. Where you've managed to made peace in all this mental turmoil.
Life hasn't been the same for you since Karnal's death, which continues to haunt you to this day. You should've saved him......but Lilian was far too dear to your heart.
As you sigh and roll out of bed, you enter the bathroom and stare at your reflection in the mirror. Are you really where you're supposed to be? Are you happy with the reflection staring back at you? It's a trick question. You never were and never will be.
You brush your teeth and splash water on your face, to make your pale droopy face somewhat more alive. It didn't work. You drag yourself to the closet and pick an outfit for the day. After you're dressed in your usual colours black and grey, you enter the kitchen, closing the door behind you.
Last night's pizza is taken....