10 years ago
’I see trees of green, red roses too. I see them bloom for me and…’ The same beautiful song plays in the garden with tall green trees and red roses. This is a beauty that one would never want to dissipate into ash. Closing my eyes the cool breeze hits my face. I don’t want this to fade. I don’t want to see it. The beauty suddenly changed to harsh winds and a thunderstorm. I knew what would happen now. Just as much I displeased it, a sudden force as sharp as claws begin to open my eyelids. No, please don’t, I don’t want to see it! The smell of blood reaches my nose and the sharp pain steals a scream out of me.
“NO!” I woke up, panting and drenched in sweat. It happened again. For a month, I have envisaged of the same nightmare. Those claws, that ghastly breath and those eyes bring fear. A fear that is yet to be faced and a fear which is to be dreaded for life.
I thought to myself. Until when, will I get freed from my nightmares? My entire face had fear carved on it. I glanced at the mirror to see my nose bleed. Unchanged night, same agony and the same monster. Till what extent does it want me to bleed? Cleaning my nose I went for a bath and came out as quickly as possible. I’m late. Again.
Walking on the pavement of the college grounds reminds me of the dream. ‘I see trees of green…’ That song again. Where is it coming from? I followed the song to see someone. A girl? She had a CD player beside her and the song covered the air.
“Hey” I said informally. She turned her face to make me feel a shock wave. I’ve never seen someone like her before. She’s a foreigner with a bit of Korean tint. I was lost in my thoughts that I couldn’t hear her calling me.
“Hey, who are you?” she smiled. That smile, is it real? I replied, “Oh, I’m Lee Hyun Sung, criminal investigation major and yours must be?” she replied, “Oh, I’m not from this university. I just here for a friend” “Is that so? In any case, nice to meet you” her bright smile made my heart flutter. Oh my god! What am I trying to feel? I just met her! Calm down! You’re Lee Hyun Song! You never fall for girls!
Surprisingly we had many things in common. Our laughter was the only thing audible in that small area and her sweet grins. Her true identity and personality made me curious. I couldn’t read her completely. My senses weren’t working like they should around her. I never needed love until I met her pretty eyes. Time flowed like water and I missed all my classes. But those hours felt like minutes passing by. What am I doing? I should be in class right now! Nothing mattered except her beautiful smile. I felt something strange. Something like a strong desire, a strong urge, a strong pain that I’ve never felt before. Her eyes made it difficult for me to breathe evenly. Her expression changed into a worried one. “Hey!! Are you okay!? Please say something! Should I call the ambulance!?” before she could utter a single word, my body ran far away from her as if someone or something forced me to hide.
Panting hard, I reached a corner which hid my figure from suspicious eyes. People, where I study, are trying to find each and every way to destroy and take away my position. A small mistake here and one can get expelled. Days and nights of hard work is required to enter a prestigious university like mine. I have survived three years here. Will I survive my last year?
“Hey, you okay?” That same voice, what? How did she find me? I looked behind to find her worried eyes glistening for me. What is happening to me? It’s like I’m being controlled. I don’t feel myself. I feel drowsy, I feel darkness around me. What the fuck is happening! Why……why is this happening? Before I could say something or see something, darkness took over me. I’m again inside this very dark room. There are mirrors everywhere and a small amount of light just to show me my face. I try to move but I couldn’t feel anything. It felt like a complete void. I couldn’t see anything else. I couldn’t feel anything else. I felt lonely, scared and abandoned. I felt paralyzed.
“Who are you?” I asked.
“Who am I?…...I am You”
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