Chapter 39 - Pablo's betrayal
I held a glue, observing my gift for Pablo. It consisted of stones glued together with fake grass and moss on top. I placed a small bridge and a sakura tree on the grass. On the bridge showed a clay pomeranian figure.
I began working on a koi pond now, gluing more small stones together, and making a pebbly path from the bridge to the pond. Painting shatters of glass underneath; I glued the fish's tails to the bottom. I glued the pond underneath the bridge.
I also cut the tile in the middle of the bridge, replacing it with glass.
"Uhh. I hope Pablo's going to like it. I want to make the pom removable, but I'm not sure how to do that... Oh, wait... What if I'll put shrines with the person's name in each miniature garden? Great idea!"
I rummaged through toys from gachapons until I found a shrine toy. I repainted it and cheerfully wrote his name on the white rectangle on the top.
Afterward, I chose to create another garden. In the process of making it, tiredness took over me, and I almost fell asleep while working. That's when I decided it's time to get into my bed.
I woke up at nine o'clock, ate breakfast, and checked if the garden for Mizuki is fine. Once I had examined it properly, I started working on another garden for Mai. Voices decided to talk in my head again. I chose to ignore them, yet made sure my apartment is locked.
For Mai, I created a garden with miniature bunnies and kittens, sakura trees, a bench, a bridge, and a koi pond. Mizuki's tiny garden was covered with sakura trees, a bridge, and a koi pond as well. Plus, on the bench, sat a girl resembling Mizuki, holding a makeup brush.
"Uhh." I checked the time on my phone again. "It's that late already? I still have work to do!"
Finally, after having miniature gardens for everyone, I disappeared outside for a walk to take a break. Also, I needed more glass bowls for the gardens and some wrapping paper. Once I returned, I wrapped the glass bowls in bubble foil and covered them with wrapping paper.
"I'm tired. Is it 18:00 already? Oh, come on... At least tomorrow I have free rest of the day!
Wednesday was the Emperor's birthday, and I ditched school again. Tomorrow I should celebrate Christmas at Nakajima's household. How will it be like? I daydreamed and ordered a pizza. As it arrived, voices decided towards reminding me of their existence.
"Someone plans to kill you. Have you really locked the door?"
"Don't eat pizza!"
"They are coming for you. Put poison in."
"What if the pizza man put poison in?"
"Too dumb to eat the pizza."
"Why did you open the door to the pizza man?"
"Now he knows where you live! He's coming for you..."
"SHUT UP! PLEASE, JUST SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH!"
Voices, of course, disagreed with stopping, and I collapsed on the ground crying, that's how bad it was. A moment before, I try to eat the few last slices of pizza and suddenly dropped the portion, as I thought there's mold.
I threw some pills in my mouth. Last time I had to increase the dose, and so today, I raised it even more.
"W-Why?" I cried and hugged her knees, the jar of pills rolling on the wooden floor. "S-Stop, please stop already."
I don't know when it stopped. The whole time I cowered in the corner. Only the medicine helped; it brought relieving effects, and the speaking stopped.
My eyes hurt from crying, feeding as if I was sick. No, I can't be ill! I just cried. I can't wait for tomorrow... I don't want to experience this, not anymore, only no.
I prayed for the day to be over, and at night, I fell in my bed tiredly. How can someone even consider going to school in this condition?
I visited Pablo's place today, placing my gifts under the tree. He greeted me: "Hey."
"Hi." I returned the greeting.
The day took place naturally until I decided to tell Pablo about the voices and how scary it is. As I finished, he shot me a weird look. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"W-What do you mean?" I stuttered.
"That ain't normal. Crazy people hear voices. Have you gone mad?"
"I'm not mad! I don't know why this keeps happening!"
He only gifted me a disgusted gaze. "I knew you're weird from the beginning."
"W-what do you mean?"
"Aren't you stupid? You belong to a psychiatric hospital. You aren't normal. Do you even deserve to live?"
"P-Perhaps I d-don't. All things that happened to me... Maybe God wanted me to die. Perhaps I don't deserve to live. Is up there even a God?"
"If he were, he wouldn't be proud of you." Pablo sneered maliciously.
"You only felt sorry for me, I see..."
"No. I was only a friend with you because otherwise, I'd have no friends. How can you not come to that on your own?" he responded, talking like if I was stupid.
"You d-don't understand! I-It's hard! H-How do you think you'd r-react if you suddenly heard voices? H-how?!"
"Better than you. Why make such a fuss? Overcome it, that easy."
"IT'S NOT!" I yelled, crying. "YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT'S LIKE! YOU HAVE FAMILY, EVERYTHING; YOU'RE HEALTHY, YOU DON'T HEAR VOICES... YOU HAVE NO CONCERN OR IDEA AT ALL!"
"Excuse me? I've recently been sick, meaning I'm not healthy. And you think I have no concern?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! OH, I know. EVERYTHING."
"YEAH! EVERYTHING WITH ME IS WRONG, SO WHAT, ARE YOU GOING TO JUDGE?! WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU?!"
My words left him speechless for a few seconds; he seemed very angry, though. "What else am I supposed to do?! How should I know what to expect?!"
"I'm not dangerous!"
He grabbed an old newspaper and documents he found, showing them to me. My heart dropped. No... How did he get to those?! No, NO! I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO FIND OUT! HE'S GONNA HATE ME!
Pablo bore eyes into me and read the title out loud: "A schoolgirl attacked her boyfriend in high school, breaking a few of his bones." The next thing he said broke my heart: "How could anyone ever love someone like you?
"Y-You..." tears rolling down, soaking my cheek.
"Me? Why should I be in love with someone, who's gone mad?"
"If I d-didn't tell you, would you l-love me?"
"Maybe. Until I'd find out you are a monster. I would never date such a monster."
"J-Just because I began hearing voices d-doesn't mean I'm am-monster! D-doesn't mean I'm inhuman! Can you accept that?!"
"People who hear voices are usually inhuman. They do crazy stuff."
"Not all! D-Don't throw me in one bag with t-the crazy o-ones!"
"Crazy ones?" he sneered, "Like you?"
"YOU COMPLETELY IGNORED EVERYTHING I SAID EARLIER! YOU COWARD! THE ONLY ONE WHO'S INHUMAN IS YOU, FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO ACCEPT THIS FACT! SO WHAT?"
At this point, anger got the best of Pablo. Both of us stood in the kitchen. He snatched a knife and pointed at me. "Who cares about mad people anyway?"
I froze in shock, seeing the knife. "The only o-one who's mad is y-you."
"Me? Oh, really? Maybe this will teach you."
Pablo pushed the knife through me, and I jerked my head towards him. I didn't understand why did he punch me, and gasped for air. At first, appeared intense tingling, followed by extreme heat and water running down my stomach. Now I realized I'd been stabbed.
I threw up all over Pablo's sneakers. He jumped away in disgust. Blood was pouring from my stomach, and I fell on the floor, panting. The heat became unbearable; I desired to scream, sob, cry, yet the pain and heat disagreed with allowing me.
Shinshu floated behind me, smiling at my trembling body. "I told you..."
My eyes were slowly closing. I thought my life would finally be okay. However, now I see. Now I see how wrong I was. Perhaps it's okay; I'm dying. I hope my next life is going to be better.
Last traveled down my face until the World turned black.
"I told you..."
"I knew this would happen..."
"Why didn't you listen?"
"He killed you..."
"Don't trust Pablo."
"He's up to no good."
"He stabbed you, remember?"
What happened? Where am I? World is black; I feel dizzy... What's going on?
"Up to no good."
"Looks liked you died."
"He doesn't love you."
"Don't tell him anything."
"Afterlife is not so nice."
"Don't wake up."
"He destroyed you."
"You don't remember the rest?"
I received a flashback of the policeman pushing my head against the floor, giving me handcuffs. I began crying uncontrollably. Why did he do that? It was all Keichii's fault! I never wanted Pablo to find out!