Legend of the Breeze (vol2) - Killer's victim

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Chapter 48 - Things, that you can't deal with

[Kurumi's POV]:

Aaron, Nanami, Mizuki, Mai, and I surrounded Pablo's bed. His right arm is on a sling, and the left bandaged. His leg was splinted, and he wasn't waking up.

Doctors said he suffered a mild concussion.

All of us stood above the bed in silence. Nanami and I were crying, Mai holding Mizuki's hand. Aaron staring at his son, speechless.

"I-It's my fault. I'm so sorry!" I sobbed. "Yell at me, punish me; I deserve it." We appeared in the hallway now; the doctor threw us away for examination.

Aaron shook his head slowly. "It's not your fault."

"It is, I-"

"It's fine." He said shakily. It wasn't fine, though, and everyone acknowledged the fact. I lowered my head. I got involved with someone, causing another family to suffer.

I turned around, strolling away with lowered head and tears dropping on my clothes. Nobody followed me. I ran through the hallway away, not knowing and caring where I am.

Finally stopping somewhere, my legs betrayed me, forcing me to kneel on the ground and sob uncontrollably.

"Are you okay?" a nurse questioned me.

"I-I-I..."

"Come with me. We have something that may calm you down."

I followed the nurse to a small room; there was a kettle with water, cups, plates, a few desserts, sweet bread, and some tables with chairs in the room.

I keeled over on a chair, and the nurse placed a cup of tea in front of me. I sipped some of the liquid.

"You're the girl from earlier. "There's a chance he may wake up. He's just unconscious."

"I don't want to talk about this," I whispered, staring in the liquid as the water from my eyes dropped into it.

The nurse also placed the sweet bread beside the cup. Feeling it would be disrespectful not to taste it, I sank my teeth into the pastry, nibbling on it. The tea did work, and I realized I'm feeling better.

"Where are your parents? I'll let them know you're here."

"I'm not here with my p-parents."

"Oh. Acquaintances?"

"Hm."

"Where are they?"

"I don't know. I ran away."

"From home?"

"No. From them."

"They must be looking for you."

"I don't think so."

"Why?"

"It's my fault what happened."

"Don't think like that. I'll let them know you're here. Can you tell me the surnames?"

"Nakajima."

"Just Nakajima?"

"Aaron, Nanami Nakajima." The nurse left. Why did she even need that? Maybe this is all another nightmare. I heard someone's footsteps but refused to raise my head. Instead, I stared in the cup.

"Ku?" The voice belonged to Mizuki. I tilted my head a little, and she viewed my watery eyes.

"Pabs told me you acted mean to him earlier. He wasn't sure what he did wrong. I told him you might have been going through something hard."

"I really don't desire to talk regarding this right now."

"I understand."

"It's my fault."

Mizuki observed me for a couple of seconds. "It's not. You know, I was sometimes mean to him as well, especially as a child. I yelled at him that I wish he were never born. Pablo ran away into a forest and climbed up the tree, then fell. He broke his leg badly and later told me he was crying and screaming for help. However, nobody came. I considered it my fault. It felt like I ruined his dreams because he desired to be a professional dancer. And how could he with his badly broken leg? As he became older, he assured me that he's used to giving up his dreams. I blame myself to this day."

"He decided to meet me at the park. He wished to know what's wrong, and I could've told him." I lowered my head. "He saved my life. I let him down. Literally."

"Don't take the burden on yourself. His condition is stabilized." Mizuki tried calming me down.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing's changing. He's unconscious. We don't know when he'll wake up. I'm worried."

"Me too." I don't want the Nakajimas to suffer after everything they have done for me.

"I hope he'll wake up. Take a piece of chocolate; it's good for stress." she offered me a chocolate tab.

"Thanks," I whispered, shoving it in my pocket. Why? If only I left Pablo alone, this wouldn't happen. However, if I didn't befriend him, he'd still be depressed and eventually commit suicide. Perhaps I saved him. I can ask him. But wait... He's not conscious. I'm still convinced it's my fault.

Mizuki already disappeared from the room, leaving me with my gloomy thoughts. "I don't deserve this.".

My head was empty, and still, for unknown reasons, I began laughing hysterically and disturbingly. Mizuki returned, freezing in surprise, staring at me. I only continued giggling with an empty look in my eyes.

Mizuki stepped backward. "K-Ku?"

I walked toward her slowly, resembling a serial killer. Suddenly, water drenched my face, and I hugged Pablo's sister, my body shivering with the laughter and sobs. After some time, I noticed I'm only crying. "M-Mi-Mi... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made y-your f-fam s-suffer. I'm s-sorry." It arrived as whispers. "Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry."

"It's okay, Ku, don't apologize like that." Mizuki pulled from me, unsure what to think, and looked at me worryingly. "You were laughing like that... Are you alright?"

"It-thought y-you'll hate me. Be mean to me."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't catch his wrist while he w-was failing."

"It's okay, Ku. You can come to our place." I shook my head sharply. "No. I'll go home."

"Are you sure?"

"I have to think about what happened today. I also have to go to school tomorrow."

"I just remembered we'll have to tell your teacher about what happened today," Mizuki noted unhappily. She resembled an anxious person, trying to hide how much, and failing.

I ate the chocolate, sweet bread, and drank some tea, thanking the nurse. The Nakajimas already left the hospital. I paced to the train station slowly. In my apartment, I sat on my bed and stared at the wall.

Afterward, my stomach rumbled in hunger, pressuring me into going to the kitchen. I picked up a kitchen knife to cut a loaf of bread. Nonetheless, when holding it, I moved the knife and aimed at my neck.

My shaking hand, fingers clenching the weapon.

I gulped. I won't let the voices take control. I want to die. Sausages. The pills don't work. Pablo's gone. I love him. Will he survive? I don't want to die. I want to die. My head is messed up. A tab of chocolate... Pills. Mei's dead, and it's my fault. Mei and I went to visit the haunted house; it ended badly. Marshmallow is adorable.

It's hard to arrange my thoughts... I sort of wish to overdose again. "Don't be like Romeo and Juliet. Juliet wasn't dead, remember? Romeo killed himself anyway. Do you desire to meet the same fate? Think, girl!"

I heard a yell from the main hallway and a child crying. One of my neighbors appeared to be a mom with children. I dropped the knife shakily, and it landed on the ground with a hollow thud. The thud reminded me of Pablo's body falling. I heard a bone break earlier. Mei also thudded on the ground.

I placed hands on my eyes. It isn't easy to think. Lately, a lot of things happened. I miss my pills.

The murderer stabbing Mei, Pablo falling in the pit, Mai with him dying in the fire, Pablo slapping me because of the past, Keichii pushing me into the bed. Mom locking me in the apartment, then leaving for a long time, myself stealing, Shinshu convincing me bad stuff is okay.

I keeled over again. Things you can't deal with, which made you a crybaby, changed you to worse, that can't be fixed, or taken back. Things that make other people judge you because they don't know the whole story. Things that make me feel terrible sorrow and pain. I need to get it off my chest. I've kept quiet for too long. I've been destroying myself. It's time to stop doing this. It's time to become stronger.

I should've died. Instead, I was rescued by the doctors. And where are my pills? I may be addicted, but they're a relief, and I need... Don't have them anymore, though.

Somehow, I survived everything. And now it's time to tell my story. If Pablo doesn't wake up, the story I've kept inside myself will destroy me.

I don't feel like going to school, nevertheless. Who else would bring notes for him? My hope he wakes up is the only reason I'm holding up.

...

The teacher announced what happened to the class. I stared into my desk, placing hands on my head. It's the same as with Mei's death. The past repeated itself.

I've had to put earbuds in my ears. Bangs hid my face so that no one could see. When anyone tried to comfort me, I ignored them.

I pushed myself to pay attention to him, no matter what it takes.

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