Legend of the Breeze (vol2) - Killer's victim

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Chapter 51 - Reunion

[Kurumi's POV]:
Tears dropping on the paper. I've been thinking this through for months. Voices are encouraging me. My misery will be over soon. Now all that there is left to do is wait...
I checked my pictures with Pablo, Mei, and Mizuki. My heart broke again, imagining their distant behavior and having no one to live for. I can't live for myself anymore. I hugged the photo with Mei at the cafeteria and cried before leaving the apartment. When I return here, what will I do? Find help at risk? Wait and try to bear it? Or end it?


I found Pablo's room, entering. Beside his bed appeared a stool, where I sat.
"Hi, Pabs, Pablito, Pabbly... I remembered you don't want to be called that. I brought you something. It's a letter. With everything I wanted you to know. Please, read it after you will wake up. It is about my past to understand me better and about what I was going through. It is essential. And I really desire you to see it. You can't imagine the effort and how long it took me to write. It's probably my goodbye."
I viewed Pablo not moving and hesitated, then carefully wrapped arms around him. I sensed his chest going up and down. He was alive, couldn't interact with me; however, he still lived.
"I am trying to survive, but only fall deeper and deeper... I don't think I can make it.." I whispered.
Pablo's silence wasn't a surprise. He can at least hear me. I glimpsed a nightstand beside the stool and bed, placing the letter on the surface.
I got up, leaving, needing to fulfill my important decision. "Don't regret anything. You didn't know what exactly was I going through."
"Ku..." a voice mumbled.
"You're stupid." another voice said angrily.
"After all of this, you'll kill yourself?"
"Yes! Die!"
"Choke on pills!"
"Your friend's gonna die anyway." However, I was used to the voices, so I tried to ignore them, yet, still answered something out loud. "Yes, I'm going to die."
"Ku..." The voice said again, more clearly.
"What do you want? Tell me how stupid and terrible I am? Not that it would matter."
"No..." it repeated.
"What no?" I asked the voice. It sounded familiar, but all the other voices did too.
"What 'Don't'?" Why do I even talk with the voice in my head? That's weird. "I'm gonna go." I continued walking.
"Wait!" It came from behind me. I turned around, knowing nothing's gonna change. "I'm used to... P-Pa-"
"Ku!" Pablo appeared to be looking at me. He moved his head in my direction. No, he could not wake up suddenly. It's not possible.
He tried to sit somehow and hissed from the pain. He was unable to use his arms and left leg.
Pablo ended up being successful, sitting a bit, and leaning his back on the pillow.
"It hurts." he frowned and glared at his arm in a cast, then returned his attention to me. "What do you mean? What –"
"P-PABS!" I shouted and ran to him. Before he could finish the sentence, I reached him, crying on his shoulder. "I-I'm s-so g-glad! I'm..."
"It's fine. It's fine."
"I w-wish it w-would, y-you..."
"I'm fine. What happened? I remember I fell, then experienced pain, and everything turned black. I was lying here and listening to what other people say. It was like when you're in a deep sleep, and someone talks to you. It's hard to catch their words." He smiled at me. "I'm glad you're alive."
"No! I'm glad you're! You've been in a coma!" Pablo's smile froze. "For how long...?"
"About a week." I pulled from him and sat on the stool. He looked around himself. "I don't like hospitals," he mumbled. "I really wasn't here for a long time. The last time was when I broke my leg. What did I break this time? Aha, arm, and my leg is on a splint, and it hurts like hell, great." he complained.
"You're alive, though! I'm so glad you're okay."
"I don't think I am okay. Probably both my arms are broken and not sure how my leg."
"What did you mean you can't survive? Or was that only in my head? What's that supposed to mean?"
I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. "I wrote you a letter..."
It appeared that all color disappeared from Pablo's face. "You... What?"
"Please, read it." I moved my body, not looking at him anymore. "I'll be going soon."
"Where? No, stay here. Don't do anything stupid."
"You don't know me. You won't accept me for who I truly am."
"What! Why are you like this? You very well know that I –"
"That's the problem. You no longer will." I gulped my tears.

"Nonsense." Pablo sent me an unhappy gaze.
"How come you suddenly woke up? Is this also just in my head, or is everything screaming at me that I should live, even after everything life put me through?"
"You mean Mei... It must've been hard, but survived, it's okay..."
"NO! Not just that. You don't get it!" I turned sharply. "Read it, please. Perhaps then you'll understand or hate me. There's no other option."
Pablo gulped. "Okay, can you hand me the letter? And stay here."
I reached to the nightstand shakily, placing the letter in his hand. He sighed. "Well... I can't open it."
"Sorry." I opened it for him, and he viewed the first few words. I turned away as his eyes traveled down the paper in complete silence.
I shouldn't have done that. He'll hate me for sure now. Maybe I can just leave. Making a couple of steps forward, I contemplated what the right thing to do is closer to the door. Even if Pablo woke up, it's not going to change anything.
"Where are you going? Don't go anywhere. Sit here." Pablo commanded me.
"But –"
"Do it. We need to talk."
I trudged back to his bed, sat on the stool, and stared at the floor. I glimpsed where he is. Right now, he's reading the "people who bullied others deserve to die." part. Immeasurable surprise showed on his face. The longer he read, the bigger surprise and worries showed on his face. Pablo soon stopped reading, looking at me very worried. His expression brought tears into my eyes, and my head fell in my hands.
"Hey. I don't know what to say. But everything's going to be okay, I promise. And I am here, okay? You tried to..." he gulped. 'I can't believe you too... Don't."
"What's the point? Once you finish, hate me is all you'll do."
"No! Stop thinking like that! You matter; you matter more than you think. Listen. For me, there was also no hope. I survived. And it was worth it. Why couldn't you tell me earlier? he seemed very upset. "I would never dislike you!"
Instead of answering, I sobbed. He read more of the letter, now looking scared. I knew he'd be scared of me.
When he viewed my feelings toward him, tears arrived in his eyes.
"I won't leave you," he said softly.
"Why?" I whispered. "Don't you think I'm crazy or a liar?"
"It's not your fault. What happened to you. And... I care. I always did, although it may not seem so. I can't hate you."

"Ku...." Pablo sighed, "you helped me when I was in despair and emotional trouble. I've been stupid, sad, and lonely. And... as you came, you helped me. I didn't know how to pay you back; I decided to be as supportive as possible."

I gazed at him, opening my eyes a bit more in surprise. "Why are you... c-crying?"
Pablo only shook his head. "What you wrote... I have no words."
"I still feel like a burden to you. It would be easier to leave me. I'm crazy; I probably need p-psychiatric help, you... y-you... Don't mind? W-why?"
"You aren't. And it's because... I-I..." he gulped and took a deep breath, looking in my eyes. "I... L-l-l..."
He inhaled and exhaled. "I l...l-love... y-you."

"But... I don't understand. Why do you love me? Don't you get it?! I'm a cripple! I'm crazy, only a burden to you!" I shouted. He only commanded me to reach closer. "You don't understand! You just can't understand! You have an f-family, s-siblings, you're loved, you're healthy, so why are you in love with such a burden like m-me? You don't know how it's like! I hear voices! D-d-don't you get it?" I sobbed loudly now. "W-Why do you love me?"

"Calm down, please. Oh, Ku... You're right. I don't know how it's like. But you're not crazy; it's not your fault." his words were calming and soft. "I love you because you're you. And... I know it's a lot you've been through. Don't say things like that. You're not a burden. Stop saying.. This. Or I will... slap you."
"I am," I replied quietly. "I'm not normal."
"Yes, you're indeed different. But you don't have a disability, don't call yourself that!"
"I am! I have a disability!"
"Look at me," Pablo said impatiently, and I observed him. "What do you see?"
"Green eyes."
"That's not what I meant. Look, I have been through depression; I never fit anywhere, I knew I'm different, and no matter what, I couldn't make friends. My only best friend wasn't good, either. And I was stupid enough not to tell anyone what is happening at my school. I thought about myself that I am stupid, ugly, unloved, too open... And also a burden."
"You were never a burden." I objected, burying my face in his shoulder.
"I know. So you're neither. Look, life sometimes sucks. However, you must look at the good sides too. And when you see none, it's time to get some help."
"I know, but I was scared..."
"It's fine, now. I don't and won't judge you for what you told me. So, remember, I love you even if you hear voices, even if you're capable of beating someone up and even for your disorder. I love you for... Who you are. And it's hurting me to see you like this."

I stared in the ground, not knowing what to respond. "Holding it inside never helps, Ku. I know how it's like to be so afraid and to hide your pain. But we need to fix this, okay? We'll need my parents. Help is on its way. It's good that you told me, and I promise everything will be okay." he said and held my hand, which I placed on the bed.
"And... I wanted to show you something..." I wrapped my arms around my neck, and the choker fell off. It revealed a big stitched scar. "It makes me ugly..."
Pablo seemed very surprised. "That's... How did you survive... That?"
"I wasn't supposed to," I whispered. "I don't like to show it to others." with these words, I put the necklace back on.
"Wow. I still need to think about this, though..." he gazed at the letter again. "Can you or someone call my parents? They'll know what to do."
A nurse came in the room and stared in surprise. "You're awake!" she pushed me away, looked at the machines around, and then disappeared to tell his parents and the doctors around.
"About everything you told me... You need help. Tell my parents." he told me when she was gone.
"Help? What kind of help?"
"Medical help. Tell them, please. Do it for me. They will know what to do."
"I'm scared. You mean a therapist, right? I don't know! I've never been to one before!"
"It will go just fine. I had a lot of sessions before."
"You already visited a therapist?" I questioned in surprise.
"I did." Pablo smiled. "Trust me."

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