Chapter 1: let's rewind.
Huh. Its two weeks before I’m off to university, I don’t even know how to feel, I’m supposed to feel nervous, or excited, scared or maybe all three? But I don’t feel either of those emotions, I’m just… meh. Well I don’t even know what to look forward to. I don’t really know the school, I mean sure I researched it but when has that ever helped anybody. I’ve never really liked school to begin with and I’m sure you’re thinking ‘join the club sister’ but you don’t get it. My family is biracial in Nigeria. And if you don’t know this yet, then let me tell you it brings a lot of attention to us, from our hair, to our complexion, to our eyes and all that. My dad is Australian, I’ve not really met his side of the family because they never came to Nigeria and we never travelled abroad. My mom is a full blooded Nigerian, Igbo for that matter from Abia state, we’ve met all or almost all our family members from that side, not all of them I like but eh they’re family. Anyway before you truly understand my dilemma let me introduce you to my three siblings; first born blossom Ogechi Winter, she’s the first daughter too, and she’s a beauty, she’s average height but has all the curves in the right places- she got that from my mom, she has shoulder length dark natural curls, and pale blue eyes- from my dad, full lips and flawless fair skin. Then my brother; David Chima Winter the second born. He’s a giant. He is so freaking tall like 6’4. He has dark brown eye, he’s hair is dark, full and curly and usually in a fade style. He has full and wide lips but it fits his face, he works out a lot so he has a lot going for him. Then there’s me, you know what skip me. Then there’s my little brother, some people think we’re twins which is so far from the truth, I’m older, not like Oge and Chima who have two years gap, I’m older by four! But he’s so tall like all the males in my family and do not think I’m short or average. I’m pretty tall for my age but he’s taller than me by two inches or so. Victor Okechuku Winter. He’s always in low cut, actually I don’t think his hair can grow past a certain point so he just keeps it low, some say he looks like my late grandfather; I didn’t meet him, died a week before I was born. Victor has dark blue eyes, he has a lanky build but then again he’s just thirteen and a half. Okay now this is me, waist length dark natural curls, btw my hair is my favorite part of me, I spend so much time on my hair, it’s practically my child, I have light brown eyes, I’m a bit darker than Oge and Victor but fairer than Chima. Me; Ella uchechi Winter, I’m 5’9, and I’m 17. I’m not on the curvy side at all. My mom said I probably took that from my dad’s side. Anyway right from nursery school Oge, Chima and I, have been in the same school, Victor later on when he was old enough. But being in the same school with them means being constantly compared with all of them. In schoolOgechi and Chima go by blossom and David. Since Victor and I already answer our English names at home, we didn’t bother with that. Anyway in school it always, ‘blossom is fairer than you Ella’ ‘blossom has lighter voice than you Ella’ ‘blossom is finer than you Ella’ ‘blossom has finer eyes Ella’ shoot me please. I always laugh, smile or shrug in response whenever this comes up. Though Oge and Chima’s year gap Chima was just one class below her. Because he’s smart I guess. When I was finishing jss2 or eight grade, whatever Oge was graduating from ss3 and I could not be happier. Finally the comparison would end. Like a year later I was graduating jss3 and Chima ss3, he was going to university and I was going to high school. Oge and Chima got admission into Nigerian universities and left home not long after each of them graduated. Victor and I changed school. He was entering jss1. It was my sister duty to protect him, being new to secondary school just like Chima and Oge did for me. It wasn’t hard. I had close male friends who did that for me.
When I was in middle school I never really cared about my body size, I mean my friends then had bigger chest than me and wider hips and bigger asses but I didn’t really care nobody came and told me I was not growing fast or anything like that. But in high school, oh hell. I was not prepared at all. I packed my hair up in a high ponytail then it was shoulder length and still my pride and joy, people always complimented my hair. I wore a black hoodie and blue jeans and we left for school, Victor and I parted ways at the school gate, out classes were in two different blocks. When I entered class, I was confused because they were learning chemistry and I remembered telling mom and dad that I wanted to be an art student but this was the class I was told to go to, I quietly entered and told the teacher by lunch break I was in art class. I .remembered talking to a guy and he kept on looking at my breasts or my lack of. But he didn’t say anything he’ll just smile. Then I started becoming self-conscious of my body. Did I forget to tell you that this was a boarding school? Well yes it was. During that first term I received jabs and insult about my breast size and ass size, I remember we were reading a book titled faceless, then someone started calling me ass-less. I still had friends. I mean my classmates were friendly, once you put the jabs aside. And I think they think I was not hurt because I’ll laugh it off. But they were really nice, I mean they had my back when my juniors like jss3 wanted to insult me. This kind of no one can insult her but us thing going on. We’d laugh a lot, sing a lot and dance a lot on tables. But I became really self-conscious. Anyway after the term ended we changed school, Victor wasn’t really happy there and other reasons. We went to a new school, I was super self-conscious but they were not as… bad? As the previous school, or maybe it was the fact that I’ll crack a joke about my body before they could. I remember people saying they like my character that I have this IDGAF character and I don’t really care what people say about me or my body, they had no idea how wrong they were. I mean I didn’t even date like the rest of my mates not because I didn’t want to but I was self-conscious, but that was for the best actually, if I did date and my mother found out, I was so dead. But they felt I was so confident about my body, when I became a boarder in that school I walked around with little to no clothes in the hostel. So much so that I was often reprimanded for it by the hostel matron.
The comparison didn’t stop after Oge, I was often compared to Victor and Chima. I wasn’t so great at math, so I often came fourth or fifth in school and Victor came third or fourth. But when Victor wasn’t among the top 5 I was but no one scolded him. God I sound petty. So school although had its good moments I was always plagued by its bad moments. Up till now I hate climbing up the stairs in front of a guy due to memories.
So maybe you’re thinking at least I’d be going to a school without any of my siblings and that I should be glad and excited but I’m just… meh.…