Dawson left after the usual conversation we had. Part of his job I suppose was to come and make sure that I was still here. Not out of my head with worry, stress, booze, or pills. I wondered what to do with myself as I wondered into the kitchen, I opened the fridge to find there was little food in the house, which triggered my memory that I hadn’t eaten for a while now. Rummaging through I find some of Charlie’s bear biscuits which made me smile. I slipped on my boots, buckling them up and grabbing my grey duffel coat off the hook. I took the keys from the pot left the house, breathing in the usual smells of manure from the farm up the road. In the car I drove to the supermarket, the usual crap on the radio, I pressed the ‘CD’ button to find one of Charlie’s cbeebies singalongs in the slot. I ejected it, replacing it with ‘Arctic Monkeys’, turning up the volume as if it drowned out the noise in my head. Getting out the car was like stepping somewhere new, I hadn’t left the comfort of the doors for as long as the argument lasted at work. I put my coin into the slot and yanked at the trolley as I entered the shop. Winding round each of the aisles picking up easy enough food to cook over the next coming weeks alone. A decent man was all I asked for. I got to the till to pay and I recognised the man that was serving me. I’d seen him before but I couldn’t quite figure out where or how when my head was everywhere.
“Rebecca? It isn’t is it?” he asked as I took a look at the name tag.
“My god. Joe!” I reply “I haven’t seen you since I finished collage!” I add.
“Yeah yeah! You and Dan still strong?” he asked, and I rather wished he hadn’t.
“Yeah... We aren’t too bad. I had a baby nearly a year ago now.” I say, starting to pack the bags as he scans.
“Oh wow. I can’t even secure a relationship at 26” he chuckled lightly.
Time passed and my shopping was over, I took his number and agreed to meet up one day, catch up properly. I walked out, relieved that for one minute my normal life was back in my hands, but catching the haze in the air I had been in before, the past became present once again.