"Time's forever frozen." (2)
8th of February 2011 (Tuesday)
Yes, I know, I know, it has been so long since I had written, but nothing much happened, just schoolwork and parties and hanging out with friends and stuff and occasional glances between me and Ryan and Nate. Today is the second day of the annual intramurals. So, I competed for the track and field and then played softball with the upperclassmen. You know, just high school sports stuff. But the catch is, there is a reason why I am writing again. There was a bloody incident that happened today! Before lunch, April, Ros and I were watching a basketball game at the gym when suddenly someone called my name. Nate was standing beside the girl who called me, and when I looked at his hand, there was a handcuff. So, I asked the girl what was going on. Nate sheepishly smiled at me as he said someone pulled a prank on us. So, now we have to be handcuffed together. I shot April and Ros a look, but they both shrugged at me. The girl handcuffed my left hand and left me with Nate.
Nate and I hang out, sure. But with my friends and his friends, not to mention with his girlfriend! We haven’t talked ALONE since that night he and I had a moment and kissed on the balcony!
My heart was in my throat, and my mind was racing with swirling thoughts as I wondered what Lacey would think about this! Nate chuckled and asked if I had eaten lunch yet. So, we went to the great hall to eat with his friends and my friends. Ryan was giving us sideways glances, and I felt a pang in my chest. Lacey was also fuming in her way. For an hour, we had no choice but to be handcuffed. At first, it was alright because our friends gathered around us. But one by one, they had to attend their teams and compete.
Not knowing where our feet would take us, we drifted towards the solarium. Nate became reminiscent and relived our times when we were here together. It was just a few months ago, but it felt like it happened so long ago. It feels like the greatest loss, to be honest. I could see in his eyes that he was conflicted and gloomy about what we could’ve become. But, before he could confirm something in his mind, or I could feel my feelings creeping back, the girl found us and unlocked the handcuffs. We waved goodbyes and went in different directions.
Get a grip, Mariana! You ended it before it even began. So, get over it and move on! :/ I can’t believe this. What if I just let him continue kissing me? Now, I will be wondering about scenarios of what-ifs and what could’ve been.
14th of Feb 2011 (Monday)
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TO ALL COUPLES OUT THERE! Wow, I’m such an oddball for saying that.
I wonder what Andrew plans to celebrate it, for the first time with Ros, and what Nate and Lacey will do. Okay, I need to focus on my studies and listen to Mr Thewlis.
Sigh. I bet mum and dad will take us to bowl to celebrate, instead of just them going out on a date. Oh, I cannot wait to go out with my parents and siblings tonight! I’m being sarcastic, by the way.
Feb. 15, 2011
From now on, as in TODAY 7:25 AM, NEVER AGAIN will April look or say hi to Gabriel! She doesn’t care about him anymore!!
5th of June 2011
It’s Ryan’s 16th birthday! He did not want to have a roaring party because it’s exam week starting tomorrow. Although his mum threw him one, it was so adorable. The only people invited were his friends, but it was still a huge crowd. As the afternoon rolled by and everyone was having a great time, he pulled me away and led me to their front porch. There, drinking lime and soda, we just talked about Austria and how much we want to go there; to someplace no one knows our name. I couldn’t help but notice how his cool-grey eyes still shine whenever he looks at me. It was a great day. :)
16th of June 2011
Another Film Day!! WHOO!!! It’s Spiritual Week, so all about reflection and retreats because it’s the last week of the school year. Hahahaha! We will be watching Now and Then (1995)! It’s a coming of age type of film. Even though I have seen it, I am still so excited to watch it with my friends. I wonder what April and Ros would think about the story. I hope they’ll like it as much as I do. Oh, and wow, my class will be watching with 2-A. When Ryan found out, he texted me and asked if he could sit with me as a friend. I told him, of course.
As we watched, I did my usual mannerism when I held back my tears, and I hoped no one saw me crying. It is just a marvellous film! I really love it. I asked Ros and April which of the four characters they feel similar to the most. I told them I related to Sam because of her imagination and knack for the unknown, and then she became a writer. Ros said none of them made her think she felt any for them. She shut me down that quick. I rolled my eyes, of course. April also said the same thing, but she told me why and it was because she felt like they were different from her. I nodded. Ryan somehow saw through me, and then he asked questions, and we talked about the film. Oh, my knight in shining Italian shoes.