01: no one's just good or bad, everyone is both.
The voices in your head could be threatening-
-leading you back to question your sanity. Leading the people around you to fear that you've drifted so far.
But the voice could be what drifts you closer, not only to understand yourself. But closer to an idea of who you are meant to be.
And only you. Only you can understand that.
Zach was not a normal boy, and he knew it. Tyler too.
And his mother.
They all knew he was fragile. Very easy to be broken but they didn't know what he would do if ever he was.
He didn't know either. Until then, he was. And what had become of him would only be frightening.
He looked into the mirror, one of the very seldom times-
-at the reflection of himself, his large t-shirt that dropped closely above his knees whilst his mother handled her vintage camera-
-capturing every moment of all the places they had been all summer which could only have been the posts and corners of their small apartment.
She wore on her sky blue scrubs, slightly rumpled as if only just briskly ironed from a packet and her identification hanging below the V that met across her flattened breasts.
She stood, smiling at her son, who frankly speaking, just wanted to get this day over with. He hung the bag around his shoulders as he stepped aside, throwing his messy room, one last look before leaving-
-leaving with the thought and the fear that he couldn't brace himself for what he had ahead.
"Are you ready?" Regina flashed a proud smile as she couldn't help but grasp his cheeks in her palms.
"Mum, you don't need to do that" He scoffed as they both made their way through the door, him, having to walk by his sides. But anyways-
RENNÉ HIGH, PARIS.
You could see the structural outline from a distance, and that was enough to instill the nervousness in Zach as they drove closer to the institution
"I don't think i can walk in there. Why can't i just be homeschooled like a normal teenager?" He asked and even he knew that was a joke.
"Your idea of normal really freaks me out these days" Regina didn't fail to lift off the tension between them.
He let out a light scoff as she finally halted her hyundai accord in the parking lot, and amidst the flood of students that walked around the interlocked grounds.
The most of them were excited, chattering about the places they'd visited over the summer, the parties, the beaches and only some, their one night stands.
Secret crushes. And forbidden kisses.
The others just stood aside, cursing the ones that invented school that shortened their summer. They were the cool ones that didn't give half a fuck.
While others held unto the friends they hadn't seen in months, the rest stood aside with headphones and feet against the washed walls and their eyes fixated on the screens of their phones and tabs.
"Remember, you have the chance to reinvent yourself now, not that I'm not happy with who you are now" Regina grasped his hands into hers as she smiled.
"People like me don't just get to reinvent-"
"People will see what they want to see. You'll find your people" This mother whispered to her son and he stepped out of the car, holding that thought to him.
And immediately the whistling winds hit across his face and he stared up at this landmark building, what he most hoped for, had come to pass.
He ended up taking some steps forward as he looked to the ground, only his hands around the straps of his blue black striped backpack.
And it was only after the first seconds that he was able to look up, to find out everyone else was too busy to look at this self loathing huge teenager that had stumbled upon this school.
His wish that had come true.
Unlike the school in Colorado, Zach had hoped to get through this day, and these self centered people were more than a blessing to him.
He had turned to catch a glimpse of his mother as she drove away, who was desperately trying not to be late to the hospital she had gotten a job at-
-things had began to look up for these two after all that happened.
After all, that was the only way they could afford the house and the tuition for Renné High.
He didn't hesitate to look around for a quiet spot from him, he was so used to the hiding and the judgemental stares.
Immediately whom he assumed was the principal, accompanied with the dean had stepped out of the opened doors with a smile and outstretched arms, the students began to flood in, some excitedly-
-and others, grudgingly.
His oversized jeans held to his legs as he walked at his swiftness and in his lopsided gait, towards the assembly of people at the sound of the bell-
-but it was then he walked past a group of people, only a few but whom he could swear were whispering about him.
"I'm used to it. I'll find my people" Zach had whispered to reassure himself to carry on as he exhaustedly climbed unto the stairs that led into the hallway.
As Zach stood, facing Mr Sanders giving his welcome speech which happened to be an annual event, his thoughts had wandered afar.
'what if there was a special school for the people like me?'
It was so easy for him to drawn into his thoughts, his head that was full of these fantasies.
His dark imaginations.
Zachary's safe space.
'was there ever a chance for my self redemption?'
'would i ever forgive myself for w-'
"Zachary Harrison Dempsey" He swore he had dimly heard his name earlier as he was quickly drifted from his thoughts.
"Zachary" He had now heard louder from the principal's lips and to the murmurs of the parting students that looked to him. "Zach" Sanders called.
And it took a while to realize he had called unto the new transfer students.
Hardly did anyone transfer during senior year, except it was offspringed from something really serious and by the looks of the people that glared as he walked towards Sanders-
-there were interested in knowing. Because Zach was not like any of them. He didn't look like these people.
Murmurs spiraled in the halls as he walked lopsidedly to the front of the crowd in his black t-shirt and large denim jeans as he began to feel his pounding heartbeat.
He stood by a number of people, one of whom he noticed had stared piercingly at him. "Hi" He stammered.
He exhaled in the silence as a sudden breeze blew past his face-
"Hi. I'm Zach. Zach Dempsey" He whispered and it was almost okay for him as he looked at the intense stares-
-before there was a yell that sprung from the crowds that almost came as sudden as a shock to Zachary.
He was taken aback by the words of one of them-
"Fatty Zakky" His words came to Zach as he looked at the now jeering people suddenly amused by the shaming joke, with some of the people, going as far as to holding out a pointing finger.
Zachary felt a load around his chest, pulling him to the ground as he breathed heavily, his eyes budged as he stepped back, his arm, knocking over the mic stand.
The sounds of the jeering grew louder as his anxiety kicked in, and he had to hold up himself, not to fall to the ground-
-and all he thought of as tears formed along the line of his eyes, was how he could feel his face with all the food he could reach.
And how, coming here today, was a terrible mistake. About how his existence was a terrible mistake.
He was so quick to do that.
He didn't like to feel this and food took care of that. He might still need therapy, he knew it.
He was not a normal boy, and he knew it.
And his mother.
They all knew he was fragile.
Very easy to be broken but they didn't know what he would do if ever he was. He didn't know either. Until he was.
To be continued...