Holding her shattered mind together by a thin rope, Lana's fingers shook as she pressed her thumb to the phone, ending the call before she could say too much, before he made her say too much.
Blade watched his kitten hold the phone back out to him, refusing to do as she was told for the first time, refusing to turn him in. He ached at the sight of her, he knew if this was a few days before, she would've gladly called the police on him, however, now as she lay there with her heart in her throat, she didn't want him to be separated from her and she sure as hell didn't want to be the one separating them.
'I can't do it.' She studied him, waiting for him to yell at her, to tell her off for not doing as he had told her, for being disobedient but he just sat there, never taking his eyes off her, drowning deep in his corrupted mind.
'I don't hate you.'
When her words greeted his ears, he knew that she had lost her mind.
'I know I said I did but I don't. I was so consumed in fighting you, so wrapped up in escaping you that I never considered your feelings.'
She didn't know what she was saying. She knew that what he had done was unacceptable and every time she thought back to the things he'd put her through, her heart would break but she knew that in some sick twisted way, this was his way of showing her his love. And she had just now accepted his sick and twisted ways. She'd accepted the man sitting before her.
'Whatever you think you're feeling right now. It's not real, kitten.'
Kitten. She'd always hated him calling her that but now as the name dripped off his tongue, she wanted him to call her nothing more but the name he'd given her. She had really lost her mind. But she knew that this wasn't all in her head, she knew what she was feeling wasn't fake, it wasn't an illusion.
'Everything that I'm feeling is real. Believe me it's real.'
His heart was throbbing at her words and he didn't know what to do about it. He didn't want her false feelings, he didn't want her to feel things for him just because she had gone through trauma and now it was messing with her head so bad that she was looking for escape in the man that she had tried to escape.
'I won't settle for something fake. I won't settle for your made up affection. Don't ask me to stay if you don't know what it means for me to stay.'
'Don't ask me to go home if you're not coming home with me.' She shot back at him. He'd spent months messing with her to get her to love him and now that she wanted to give him what he'd worked for, he was denying her. She didn't understand it.
'I won't go home without you.' Her voice cracked and her tears sprang free again, slipping onto the surface of her broken skin.
'All I want is for you to hold me again.' She closed her eyes, feeling pathetic and weak. Was he right? Had she hit her head somehow and lost her sanity? No. She knew that it was wrong for her to feel this way towards him but somewhere during her battle with him, somewhere during their war, she'd gotten used to him. She'd opened her heart to him. Maybe it was the night he saved her life the first time, maybe it was the night he saved her life the second time or maybe, just maybe, it was the night she willingly asked him to make love to her, because even though she thought she was forcing herself to do that, she had gotten lost in his presence and she had enjoyed it just as much as he had. Maybe all this time, she wasn't fighting his love for her, but she was fighting her love for him.
Without another word, he gave her what she wanted, wrapping his arms around her fragile body, he pulled her against his chest and held her until she calmed down, he held her until there was nothing existing but just the two of them.
His fingers slowly traced over her wrist, the one she'd cut, the one that had bled out, draining her life. He wanted to hold her forever, to never let go. She'd hurt him when she did that, and that hurt, that hurt was choking up his lungs every single day, because he knew that it was his fault. And he didn't know if he could be with her, knowing that she'd almost killed herself because of him but at that very moment, he just wanted to see her happy, he wanted to give her something to smile about, something to hold his little kitten together.
And with that, she lifted her head, looking deep into his brown orbs, her heart beating against his chest as he stared down at her, when his lips brushed against her own, she melted into his arms, letting him take her away in his world once more,
hold her heart,