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{35}Conflicted

Two weeks later and Lana had been back home, sitting on the sofa with her beloved parents. The parents that she'd took for granted while some people never even had parents to take for granted. Just like Blade. She had decided not to push him about telling her about what happened to his real parents, she'd learned that it was a painful subject for him and she didn't want to make him relive his painful childhood. He was a very conflicted man and she had learned to accept that. He had taught her, to accept that.

But two weeks later and she barely saw him, he barely came around, he only dropped by to see how she was doing and then he'd leave. She'd felt so abandoned and broken without her mystery man, without her Blade. He'd kept his distance and she didn't like it. Although she'd spent months wishing for this, wishing that he'd leave her alone, now that he really was giving her space, she wanted nothing but for him to stay with her, to intrude upon her personal space and give her no air to breathe but the air that he allowed her to breathe.

But as she sat with her eyes glued to the news that had just came on, her heart halted and everything around her, caved in on her.

'Jessie, 19 has been found early this morning in an explosive car crash that left the young woman burned alive.'

It didn't take her a second to realise that this, this was no accident and she had a feeling that Blade could confirm that for her. Because she knew, the Blade she had learned, was the Blade that was capable of ending someone's life for his kitten. And Lana knew that he had done just that.

The sickness in her gut crumbled up into her throat and made her lightheaded from the news. The voices of her parents had faded into thin air as they switched the channel and asked her if she was ok, clearly distraught to hear that their daughters best friend had died in a car crash. Little did they know, that best friend, was a snake and that car crash wasn't an accident.

Removing herself from her house, she made her way out into the park, her heart pounding in her chest as she texted him to come and see her, she was feeling all types of things and at that very moment she needed him and only him. Although her friend had almost killed her, she couldn't help but feel upset that now, Jessie was no longer alive.

'It was you wasn't it?' She whispered as she felt his presence behind her thirty minutes later, she could feel his front pressing against her back, she didn't want to look at him, not right now because if she looked at him, she would've believed that she was crazy for wanting the man who was capable of taking another humans life. She would believe that this man had poisoned her head and she didn't want to believe that.

'Say something!' Tears escaped her eyes as she waited for him to break the silence, for him to tell her he didn't do it, for him to hold her until she found her way back to reality.

'You killed her.' She finally turned around, her eyes planted to his clenched fists, she knew that his silent voice meant only one thing, that he had done it. That he had murdered Jessie.

'I will get rid of anyone and everyone that tries to hurt you.' He grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her into his chest, resting his chin on her head as she cried into him. Her heart breaking, although she knew he'd done it out of love, she couldn't accept it.

'What do you think Jessie would do once she got the chance to get to you again? Do you think she was going to go on and live her life?'

'She would come back to end what she had started, she'd come back to take your life so that you don't get to be with me.'

'And I couldn't let her do that, I couldn't risk your life, if taking her life would save yours, I'd do it in a heartbeat all over again, I'd do it for the rest of my life.'

He gripped her into his arms, his heart groaning with the need to hold her tighter, to hold her until he was sick of holding her. He wanted to take care of her, to make her sorrows end. The sorrows that he'd brought upon her.

'Don't leave me.' She whispered into his shirt. She wanted to forget everything, she wanted him to stay by her side until she drowned into the depths of Blade. Until she had nothing to think about but him.

'Don't hurt me more than this.'

'I'm willing to see past everything you've done, I'm willing to give you what you've wanted from the start, please just don't leave me here on my own.' She clutched his shirt, her body roaring with the need for him to tell her the things she wanted to hear, the things she needed to hear.

'Careful what you ask from me, kitten.'

'Because you might just regret it later.'

She looked up at him, her eyes filled with need, the need for him to let her surrender to him, the need to let him take control of her.

'I'm not afraid of you Blade.'

'You should be.'

'Don't say I didn't warn you.' He leaned down, kissing her forehead, his thumb wiping away her tears as he stared down at his little kitten. The kitten that he'd fought so much for and now she was freely giving him what he had always wanted.

'Everything you see, isn't always what it's set out to be.' He whispered against her lips, knowing that she didn't understand the meaning behind his words.

He knew that this day would come, and he'd done everything to get her here. Everything had went as planned. She thought she had an option, she thought she was freely giving him her love, little did she know, none of that was by choice, all of that was because he had created it. As always, he was ten steps ahead, plotting his next move because he knew that walking away from her, would make her want him.

Turning his back on her, would make her need him.

And abandoning her, would make her love him.

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