It was parallel lives and somehow they did not understand that I was just a child. A child who was almost five and they thought I knew what was what. They did not want to understand that my life was not branded new and innocent I was honest. I was pure but had been sold and resold to the Mafia as crumpet and the windows of dad's mind meant he was not going to take back his money or his words.
So anything to educate myself to keep busy in order not to feel or think about the stuff which meant a lot money. If I could get money I would be safe that was the raw deal. Because everything is about money to dad and my extensive fellows.
I was not protected I did not have anyone but a grandma who was almost as sold out as I had been. Her poor feeble hands could not give enough they were over loaded with the stuff of living. When she struck rich she just went off to enjoy herself. She forgot me as she said I had been rude and the spillage of the jam meant a sign from God that I was confused. That we were both confused meant she and I did nothing but say nothing to one another if only I had told her embraced her. But being cold and not into demonstrative behaviour I let the opportunity pass on that fateful night.
When she had come over to see if I needed anything.
The others needed a lot so they got the whole lot.
We are shame when we care a lot we are damned we do get hurt and get out our grievances.
The murder was occupying me.
All them people and their wasted lives and what for did it begin to speak as if someone had made a bad judgement made off with the what?
Who had gained?
"The second wife she got her children out and had bought a shop and began trading she did well as well."
The others the children including did not they had brilliant futures and hopes. Well nothing happened they all went insane.
Doing humble jobs and being unable to read as the tragic consequences came back to haunt them again and again they would sparkle and then wail I cannot leave me alone.
But the second wife was able to function and did rather well and became prosperous and did better than anyone had hoped and hopped around and did have loving relationships with the clown the policeman.
I do not know if they got married but he was a protector. He her Mr and they became known as the extended master and mistress. He had a wife somewhere but she did not know about such matters she the shop keeper kept good house and was always able to supply what was wanted everything in her shop including a telephone. In those times a telephone was a godsend.
The boys and the girls continued with the tragedy they were suicidal and they were kept on suicide watch for a number of years. One or two emerged as pharmacists and then their grandchildren too became indebted to us for their education. We are always filthy to them who are wanting.
We have to be frugal we have no lemons and I went and drunk their lemonade. Well they were upset the photograph on the wall spoke volumes. The two old ladies were sat down in some disgrace they were indomitable and mean. I was thirsty. I would never deny them a drink.
" They said a glass of water perhaps."
" Lemonade is better."
"We have to rest now." Sighed the two old ladies and did not speak any further. The visit was over.
But they spoke to auntie and she went further and reassured them their money would be in the bank for their grandchildren to have an education with. She said the high and mighty had spoken that was her brother. He would see to it.
The two odd ladies looked and smiled the lemonade was worth it. But then they were staggered by the phone ringing they just had to answer the phone. They went into a titter and I was outside before I knew it. Their amiable natures were so beastly grand. I thought this was poverty the genteel kind. I did not dislike them they were just desperate to keep going to keep up appearances.
"I can't believe that these two odd ladies were involved in that murder as the innocents."
"Well we do not mention that anymore it was in the past the woman is interned and there is no more to be said." She rolled her umbrella and just walked on graciously in the sun.
"What bought them on to this to become indebted to the highest mafia gang?" I thought as if they were playing this cat and mouse game with the poor odd dears. They were vulnerable their grand children's lives at risk.
"Well it is usual to help the poor and the help was handy. They need people like us and we need people like them. Secrets and more so and then we make them do what we dare them to."
Auntie was highly thought of so she said she helped the poor and all sorts.