I was afraid I did not do well. I was so very much in the state of a woman a child no more. I did not do well. I was a mere speck and the birds had more life than I. What is robbing me of the wayward child why this silent seeking baby in arms and no longer cute?
I an unimportant child whose mother had left her behind to go house hunting. The children all yelled and said it out loud in a leering manner. I got my dresses wet and torn when fighting.
It was as if the wind had come and stripped me of all and everything. Including the parent who seemed to have loved me she was waving away with suitcases packed I did not even know she was a parent.
"Sadly she is a not wanted where I am going."
"Does not want me?"
"Of course she does but she is going a long journey."
"I want to go to on a long journey too to England."
"Well see you soon?"
"Well no I am saying goodbye."
What had happened? Well she had been sadly done dad asked for a annulment and she gave him one. Their cause of true love went and did them asunder and hell and furious followed. She was furious and he was a murderess man who thought death would cure him of his curse. His curse was I.
"He is stuck with you now he won't be able to marry his sweetheart." she said in a silent rage grinding her teeth as if the world was swallowing her up.
"Detectives go off things don't they? I am going off."
"He is married to her already mummy."
"No he is married to me. I am going now behave." she said dry eyed "One must be realistic at my age and the disgrace and stuff there is no future for me. In Australia if you come there would be nothing for you. In England there is stuff you can do."
"I can become a kangaroo?"
"No my dear."
"I cannot carry you there."
"What must I do mummy to make me be loved?"
"You must never say you are not loved but the world and love do not mix."
"Love and the world are not the same?"
"That is right." She winked.
Was she crying? She was mocking me. She was the very devil but I went along with the joke. She was always playing this trick.
"Good bye mummy."
"See you honey in twenty thirty years."
Mother is playing a game her usual game why was she doing such a lot of acting? She always came back she did she had to because of feeding time. I had to have food three times a day. It is was necessary.
"Well hurry or the boat might leave without you." I sighed waving because we had done it a thousand times and she had always returned.
This time I waited and waited and she did not return. Children are strange and there was not much to do near the sea and I let go and that was the end. I let go forever my mum because she had let go of me. Everyone was now my mother.