for the (first) lies ahead; himawari

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Chapter 4; Truth

Kyoto. // きょと。
I was sitting by the balcony,
drinking cold beer.

I felt satisfied with what I did in the past to be able to be a baker, despite having without my parent's blessing.

I was supposed to accept the offer by his father, to be the rightful owner of their family's company.

I spent nights, thinking what I was supposed to do with such risks that I knew I could take on but it comes with big outcomes.

In the end, I was on the newspaper.
I couldn't believe my eyes.
I was called a betrayer, a fool and an idiot by my own father. That hurt me the most.

I was lost in thoughts, was left alone by my own friends too, calling me stupid for doing so. But I endured all that, remembering the last words of my late grandfather telling me not to lie to myself because in the end, it'll come to haunt me instead.

One day, I passed by CaféStudio. I saw her putting into such an effort to arrange the tables, wipe the windows and sweep the floor by her own without having to sigh.

I saw the determination she had and that inspired me to be back on track, to do what I knew was right for me, that kept myself sane. Chasing my dreams, it has always been.

Coincidentally, I spotted the poster sticked to the window regarding people needed for the opening of CaféStudio.

I clenched my fists along with the other hand gripping the poster. My eyes with its sparkles shining, I opened the door to CaféStudio to finally embrace my dreams. I was then greeted by her smile.. something about it made me felt appreciated.

I was and will always be grateful.

Although, I think.. I might be in a position of having attractions to my own gender.

No.. it can't be... not Jun.
I'm already a freak enough, he'll think I'm weird and he'll hate me!

•••

Jun. // じゅん。
「What are you thinking about, Kyoto?」
I asked after looking at how Kyoto was again in the habit of being stucked in his thoughts.

I saw how Ryo looked towards her.
There was someone after her, other than me.

I really do cherish the friendship I have with Ryo but.. it's just not fair.

「Oh, hey. I'm just taking some time to space out and have a breather.」
Kyoto replied.

Kyoto immediately turned the other way and I realized a mess I looked like, yet in my pajamas.

「Oh, sorry.. do I look weird though?」
I replied to Kyoto.

I went over to the refrigerator and grabbed the other cold beer bottle too.

Kyoto has been quiet this days and it really worries me.

Sometimes he, well, can get a little too sensitive towards things and it could affect his thinking and so I've always tried to be careful when talking with Kyoto.

「Uhh Jun.. nevermind.」
Kyoto suddenly says.

I blinked my eyes. Anyways, I suspect that Kyoto's dwelling on his past and it's affecting his mental health.
There was answers that he searched that was as such:

- How do I deal with stress?
- Kyoto, once heir to Hirato Company
and it shows.

I'm not really sure to what might be going on in Kyoto's head but I hope it doesn't makes the situation bad.

•••

Kyoto. // きょと。
Why is he being like this?
Jun's making it harder for me to
ignore on the past, because he cares
so much on my mental health.

Eventhough his intentions might
be good as he's my friend,
I don't really need that kind of talk.
I'm a grown up man.
I know how to take care of myself.

Indeed, I saw him looking through my search history. It made me
uncomfortable. He knows but yet
wants to hear me say it.

DAMN, SO ANNOYING!

「You alright there, Kyoto?」

「Uh, yeah. What about it, Jun?」

「We should.. have the conversation
we had a few days ago and you
need to be honest with
me this time, alright?」

「I- I-UHH- MY PHONE'S RINGING!
AH, CAN YOU HEAR THAT? THE- THE
UH- BEDROOM!! HAHA, SEE YOU
TOMORROW JUNNIE KU-」

Jun cut me off and pushed me against the wall while throwing the cold beer bottle aside.

「You're seriously pushing me
over the edge, my dear Kyoto.
What's so hard in being so frank and
telling me that you need help, huh?」

With that he collapsed, wasted from the cold beer.

•••

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